As for what to do what the potentially lethal booze, I have three words for you:

Stranger Man-Off 2009.

Why "drink the Kool-Aid" when you can "drink the Rize"?

#4: Watch the video. It's been done.

Any publicity is good and free advertising is even better.

Again, thanks so much!

Bruce Harrell as Drunk of the Week--that that would swoonify my typo-haunted heart. (hic!)

Or use the shiny polished aluminum inside surface of the cans to build a giant parabolic mirror to focus the sun's rays into a heat beam which you will then use to destroy the remaining cans of Rize. If you locate your mirror on Mt. Rainier, it can also be used to hold Seattle hostage for One! Million! Dollars!

Ari, on behalf of Rize beverages, I would again like to thank you for using your pulpit at the Stranger to publicize the name of our fantastic drink.

We'll be sending up more cases right away!

-Rize Beverages

Fuck off, hater! You know damn well what Ari meant to say was, "What the Hell Should We Do With All That There Liquor?"

or just head on down to victor steinbrueck & give it to our cities most valued citizens. you can find them on the southern portion of the park or by the gazebo at virginia & pike place.

and you know, the more you promote this, the more cases of this shit they're going to send you...that was the whole point of giving you all these freebies.

SUCKAS!

I'm sure all the extra shit in there from being "energy" drinks and not just alcohol would just make things more interesting.

Float them all in a wading pool, and fish them out with magnets on sticks suspended by string.

As each is "caught" have them tossed to the Mentos Maker, dressed in a Starbucks Mermaid suit, who pops the top and drops the Mentos in them.

Film at 11!

You forgot the crucial alcoholadelic detail: Who's gonna be the Mentos Maker? Who else: Venus Velazquez.

Yay! Exclamation! Points! And! HTML! Tags!

Slog for me! It's the Klaw!

Either that, or build a raft out of them and float it out to the log-boom next Seafair.

But I like @51 ... maybe we can have one person in a Starbucks Mermaid outfit that "catches" the "caught" Liquor, another one in a military uniform that salutes and pops the Mentos in, and then we pour it into a Giant Coffin while the Flag waves next to it ...

Could probably send the vid to the Colbert Report as us doing our Patriotic Duty of inebriation for our dearly departed ...

So, back when the David Letterman show was still crazy funny (1987 or so), Letterman once wore a suit completely covered in Alka Seltzer tablets, and was slowly lowered into a five foot deep clear tub of water. Yes, it was fizz action o'plenty.

Maybe you see where I'm going with this.

That's right! We'll pour all the Rize into a giant and translucent plastic tub, then put Venus Velazquez into a Starbucks Siren suit, then cover her completely in Mentos, then slowly lower her into the tub'o'Rize--all on glorious viral video!

Get the cameras rollin'! Get the action goin'!

Or if you have a "Man-Off competition", you can have each contestant drink a Riz between tasks, ie: spinning in a cirle 30 times, then drink a riz...doing 10 sommersalts (sp?) then drink a riz, etc.

Make 5 stations, and make it a relay with teams. 5 people to a team. Thats 25 Riz drunk for each team.

First team to complete wins.

Solve for fun. Please?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_carrying

Extra Credit:

Never mention that crummy shit by name. Make a new name for it. Be sure to involve teenage alcoholism.

That much free sample has got to violate some obscure administrative code section.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjASMk6TIXE&eurl=http://www.sundayriver.com/EventsActivities/Wife_Carrying_Campionship.html

Rimshot!

barring that (being that it is unethical and illegal) I suggest a Rize t-shirt contest.

You each start by drinking one (1) Rize. After each can, you each pick a word at random from the dictionary (or maybe an entry in an encyclopedia), pick a number between one and ten and google that word/entry. Go down to the nth result (n being your number), open that page, then write an opinionated slog post about whatever page and subject your result is. 15 total minutes: 5 minutes to read, 10 minutes to write a post. No outside editing. Worst post has to drink an extra rize on the next round. Best post gets to drink something alcoholic other than a RIze. From what you've described, that would be quite the motivator. I don't know if you get Dan to vote or if there would be enough live slog readers, but I would find it interesting. OR, maybe the other participants could vote! I think it would get more entertaining as the night progresses.

Or, I know I'd like to keep a case in my car so I can hand out cans to homeless people at freeway off-ramps. Cut out the middle-man.

I still like the idea of dumping it all into a fountain or the idea of having a big tub with a person as the starbucks mermaid covered with mentos being dropped in in front of a dead soldier.

"May the choad Rize with you"