Slog - Comments on Well, Hello There! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there You get on a plane, find your seat, and there's an empty seat next to you—but not for long, because planes don't fly half-full anymore. So the person sitting next to you shows up, takes his seat, then turns to you, sticks out his hand, and says, "Well, hello there! Name's Bob!" I don't like to touch people, as a general rule, and I try to touch as little as possible on airplanes, which are generally filthy, so I'm even less interested in touching people on airplanes. But social niceties obliged to shake Bob's hand and introduce myself in return.... Copyright 2008 Wed, 21 May 2008 12:07:41 -0800 Sat, 24 May 2008 10:59:58 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Spoogie The name "Bob" was a dead giveaway. You acted prudently. One should never be nice or talk to "Bob." Nothing good will ever come of it.

]]> Spoogie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029088 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029088 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:16:32 -0800 Comment by The Artist Formerly Known As Sigourney Beaver Clearly, The Stranger needs its own corporate jet.

]]> The Artist Formerly Known As Sigourney Beaver http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029089 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029089 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:17:50 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe I have no problem saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm reading." Or, "shut the fuck up."

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029092 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029092 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:18:55 -0800 Comment by Clint Never, ever, under any cicumstances make initial eye contact on an airplane. Screw social niceties. Close your eyes and go to sleep. If you can't sleep, just pretend.

]]> Clint http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029095 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029095 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:21:52 -0800 Comment by Kat I've lost hours of study or reading time because people wouldn't recognize that a book is more important than making chit-chat. I need to become more assertive...perhaps not as assertive as Mssr. Poe, but more assertive nonetheless. On the other hand, when I've been in the mood to interact and the person has been interesting, I've had quite enjoyable travel experiences.

]]> Kat http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029096 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029096 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:22:04 -0800 Comment by Hernandez @4 That also works great on buses, with the added benefit that if you look like you're sleeping, no one will ask you to give up your seat for cripples/small children/old ladies.

]]> Hernandez http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029100 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029100 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:25:17 -0800 Comment by Hayden Smythe-Geddy You may hail from Chicago originally, but your inability to directly express a reasonable social need smacks of Seattle passive-aggressiveness. How about "Nice to meet you Bob. I need to concentrate on my work during this flight."

]]> Hayden Smythe-Geddy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029101 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029101 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:25:37 -0800 Comment by Cato the Younger Younger I would have yelled "Bob has a bomb and is going to kill us all!" Always good for a laugh. Well, you should have done that, I really wouldn't since I am pretty sure I am allergic to going to jail.

]]> Cato the Younger Younger http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029102 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029102 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:27:08 -0800 Comment by Bob That really hurt my feelings.

]]> Bob http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029103 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029103 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:27:44 -0800 Comment by left coast Should have just started talking about how you came up with the term 'Santorum'.

]]> left coast http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029104 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029104 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:28:07 -0800 Comment by stinkbug Could he read your screen? Maybe he became speechless from the content of your email.

]]> stinkbug http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029107 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029107 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:29:41 -0800 Comment by Jessica People like this are why I invest in hard-to-miss earbuds or straight-up headphones if I'm going to in any sort of situation where I could be someone's captive audience (doctor's office, Metro, etc). I usually add sunglasses if I think I can get away with it. If they can't catch your eye or your ear, they can't monopolize it.

And I don't care if it's Seattle passive-aggressive bullshit, it's also someone being too stupid to pick up on non-verbal, and sub-verbal cues that I'm NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.

]]> Jessica http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029109 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029109 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:30:16 -0800 Comment by LMSW it isn't necessary to be "nice." Just be civil. Channel Bartleby with "Excuse me Bob, I prefer to read."

]]> LMSW http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029110 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029110 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:30:17 -0800 Comment by Cato the Younger Younger @7, EXCELLENT point!! Bravo!!

]]> Cato the Younger Younger http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029113 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029113 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:31:39 -0800 Comment by A Bob, huh?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/91/TwinPeaksBob.jpg

]]> A http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029118 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029118 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:33:59 -0800 Comment by Banna But What About Bob?

]]> Banna http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029125 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029125 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:38:19 -0800 Comment by Sargon Bighorn Number 7 makes the best sense, what happened to common-sense manners? Remember folks this does go both ways. Should you have a question or a need to talk with a stranger, expect the person you approach to look down, put in the ear-thimbles (ala F451 R. Bradbury)and just sort of drift away. What goes around comes around.

]]> Sargon Bighorn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029126 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029126 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:38:31 -0800 Comment by DJSauvage I've met Bob before! multiple times. He always looks different. Hmmm... I don't remember him saying his name was Bob. Sometimes he's a woman.

]]> DJSauvage http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029128 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029128 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:40:27 -0800 Comment by mackro mackro Passive aggressiveness is a Western culture thing. It's not just a Seattle thing. Personal pet peeve I have with Slog commenters. OK, rant over. thx.

]]> mackro mackro http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029134 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029134 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:43:11 -0800 Comment by Postum Once in the early '90s someone tried to talk to me on a plane. I really can't recall how I got through the ordeal, without the safety net of being able to blog about it the next day.

What a pathetic move, how about "nice to meet you Bob, I gotta get some work done now" instead of grinding your teeth and thinking "oh my god, I can't wait to post this..."

]]> Postum http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029135 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029135 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:43:14 -0800 Comment by Jiberish i will say i enjoy, for the most part, at least a little bit of a chit chat when i travel. it feels incongruous to be surrounded by so many people when i travel yet isolated from them as if they weren't there. i like people and the stories they have to tell...i wish more people would chat. (and by chat i mean the art of conversation, not seeking to dominate/proselytize/talk ear off)

]]> Jiberish http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029138 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029138 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:44:47 -0800 Comment by Jennifer in Chicago When I moved from Florida to Chicago this year, there sat behind me a poor young woman around my age who was talked to by her neighbor for about three hours. The woman even gave her her home address/phone number so they could spend time together "the next time she's in Gainesville." It was hilarious. I wanted to give the girl a hug and slap the woman. It was clear she didn't want to talk, just sleep or something. And I had to listen to this shit.

]]> Jennifer in Chicago http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029139 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029139 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:45:15 -0800 Comment by michael strangeways John Waters always carries a provocatively named book with him to read like, "Lesbian Nuns".

or,

pretend to be deaf/mute.

or,

start praying in Arabic.

]]> michael strangeways http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029144 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029144 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:47:28 -0800 Comment by Porkchop Sandwiches! We Can Sit and Talk and Not Talk For Hours and Still Have Things to Not Talk About.

]]> Porkchop Sandwiches! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029147 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029147 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:51:00 -0800 Comment by Just Me I bring a book titled "Greatest Airplane Crashes of All-Time: Now with graphic photographs!"

]]> Just Me http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029153 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029153 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:55:34 -0800 Comment by prenks I had the same thing happen to me on my way back from Paris not four hours ago. My favorite moment would have to have been when I pulled out my book, started reading, and my neighbor asks if its an interesting book. I wouldn't know, French Bob. Just like I wouldn't know if the movie I am watching is any good, or what my food might have tasted like hot.

]]> prenks http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029154 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029154 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:56:21 -0800 Comment by monkey Gosh Dan, life's full of little trade-offs, isn't it.

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029155 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029155 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 12:57:21 -0800 Comment by Vince Regretfully, Bob, I already have all the friends I can handle and I hope to get some work done on this trip. So please excuse me and enjoy your flight without me.

]]> Vince http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029168 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029168 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:05:34 -0800 Comment by inkweary @7 and others have it right. When you don't want to talk with a fellow traveler you politely but unmistakeably bow out. You don't have to tell your interlocutor why you don't want to talk with him but it helps make it seem less harsh. A civil "It has been nice talking to you but I like using my flight time to catch up on: work, reading, sleep, furtive masturbation, and etc." and a smile is all that is required of you. After that you don't even need to avoid eye contact. You can exchange all the friendly smiles you can muster as you squeeze past to get up, ask the attendant for a drink, or wipe yourself clean.

]]> inkweary http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029179 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029179 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:11:48 -0800 Comment by Julie 99% of the time, the last thing I would want to do on a plane would be to talk to my seatmate (staring into space is usually preferable to me). I just typically don't say anything at all and just bring out my work/book and start doing/reading it. If needed, I’ll pretend like I’m super absorbed in what I’m doing and do a “hmm, what?”. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone so oblivious that this didn’t work.

]]> Julie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029184 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029184 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:13:22 -0800 Comment by Providence "No nice way so 'Leave me alone'"? Geez Dan, you must be much more of a pussy in person than you are in your column.

]]> Providence http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029189 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029189 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:14:37 -0800 Comment by karst "I am a member of the Church of Satan and we are fasting for the destruction of families of pastors and Christian leaders."

]]> karst http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029190 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029190 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:15:02 -0800 Comment by lostboy There are the commenters who realize that Hayden @7 nailed it, and there are those trying valiently not to.

]]> lostboy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029193 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029193 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:16:41 -0800 Comment by PC Taxi in NY, LaGuardia to Manhattan stuck in traffic on bridge, taxi driver in endless monologue "I sit 12 hours a day in this moving coffin" his wife left with his best friend everything sucks over and over and over. My responses:

1. Could you please stop talking? I'm reading.

2. REally could you stop tlaking you are bothering me.

3. [after about half and hour nonstop] OK you want to talk ? Here's what I think I'm going to tell you right out. You want to hear? OK. You should do one of two things. Ditch this cab right here right now hitchhike to Florida and be a bum on the beach. Of just go commit suicide right now. You're not happy. You make your customers miserable. Really you can't take it, off yourself. You make the world a more miserable place. But you can change it-- leave, change, kill yourself, whatever, just do it." OR in that vein about 6 minutes worth, fairly animated and assertively.

His reply "Wow, thank you for being so direct, I'm really going to think things over."

Then he shut up.

We have such a taboo against being "not nice" it's sickening.

]]> PC http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029204 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029204 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:22:38 -0800 Comment by Tlazolteotl Dan, obviously you would rather be passive-aggressive than just tell the guy upfront you don't feel like making chit-chat. Very telling.

]]> Tlazolteotl http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029206 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029206 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:23:10 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO @ 3: I couldn't be less surprised to learn that.

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029210 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029210 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:28:23 -0800 Comment by UNPAID BLOGGER Seeing as you didn't mention a second person sitting next to you, I can only assume you were in first class... in which case, you'll get no sympathy from me.

]]> UNPAID BLOGGER http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029213 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029213 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:31:08 -0800 Comment by Julie I actually think 29 nailed it. For me, if it were someone totally oblivious (for whom, just ignoring them and doing what you want to do doesn't work), I would want to say "I'm sorry but I would prefer to read" in the nicest, least harsh way possible. Because the words themselves pretty much give a loud and clear fuck you, and it's difficult to actually deliver them while sounding nice and polite. Which is why I prefer to say nothing at all -- for me anyways, it has always been more polite to do that than to say some version of I don't want to talk to you.

]]> Julie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029216 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029216 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:32:24 -0800 Comment by Aya My mom is just like that. She is on planes all the time, and her solution is just to ignore everything Bob says or attempt to says to her. If Bob gets too chatty, she gives Bob a death look and he usually gets the hint to shut the fuck up.

]]> Aya http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029221 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029221 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:37:13 -0800 Comment by nicole jeez. just tell him you are just getting a terrible flu and your throat is too sore to talk. then he'll get out of your personal space and definitely not try to entice you into conversation.

]]> nicole http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029224 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029224 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:40:04 -0800 Comment by ivan The words don't even have to deliver a "fuck you," much as that might make us feel better sometimes.

How about: "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I have a lot to think about and I'm not really in the mood for conversation. Thank you for understanding."

]]> ivan http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029233 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029233 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:46:48 -0800 Comment by ... this guy is an advice columnist?

]]> ... http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029242 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029242 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:51:48 -0800 Comment by southerner I was on a long flight a couple of weeks ago and the gal next to me introduced herself. It turned out she had been my high school English teacher many, many years earlier. We had a really nice chat for about 20 minutes. Then we both agreed we had work to do/reading to get caught up on. We could have said that earlier on, but it was fun finding out what each other had been up to over the years. I don't think either of us suffered any angst or permanent damage from having made that contact. You must lead a pretty cushy life if this is really a problem.

]]> southerner http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029248 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029248 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:56:48 -0800 Comment by calvin Wow, I thought you were just an asshole online.
#41 has the right idea.
This world can use a lot more fair treatment of everyone by everyone.
Try putting all the understanding you lobby for online into real live practice.

]]> calvin http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029250 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029250 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 13:57:23 -0800 Comment by elenchos Now I know why that Bob guy shows up every night on the Slog and posts the same thing to every single thread saying the Slog is a stupid waste of the Internet and everyone who reads the Slog or posts on it is stupid. Except him.

He's punishing us all.

]]> elenchos http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029255 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029255 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:00:39 -0800 Comment by shub-negrorath One of the best things about being a scary-looking black dude is that people almost never bother trying to get chatty on public transit.

]]> shub-negrorath http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029270 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029270 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:10:30 -0800 Comment by Paul Constant @9 wins.

]]> Paul Constant http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029272 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029272 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:11:04 -0800 Comment by KELLY O What if you had to sit next to this guy??
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/416260/

]]> KELLY O http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029274 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029274 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:11:20 -0800 Comment by Gidget #24; you are my hero. Snow peas? Soup?

]]> Gidget http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029277 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029277 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:12:14 -0800 Comment by NaFun Clear, honest communication is ok when negotiating piss-play or bondage scenes but not when dealing with normal people doing normal things?

Remember Dan, it's good to tell people what you want so long as you do so clearly and politely.

Depending on the other person to get the hint is how people get date raped and other horrors. But then you knew that, right?

]]> NaFun http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029282 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029282 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:16:00 -0800 Comment by Balt-O-Matt Oh my god, people. You'd HATE me on the plane. I really enjoy talking to strangers (it's my mother's influence, god rest her soul) on the plane or in the grocery store. I mean, not like they're my new best friend or anything. But I like making a brief connection.

On one flight up to Seattle from San Francisco the woman and I chatted about her son and it turns out he's majoring in the field my partner teaches in--it's not a really big field. So that was fun. Good times.

]]> Balt-O-Matt http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029288 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029288 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:18:46 -0800 Comment by Balt-O-Matt Okay. Now that I've said that (#51), I obviously don't talk to people who don't want to be social. And if I'm not in the mood to talk, then I'd just give off subtle clues--earphones or closed eyes or an open book.

]]> Balt-O-Matt http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029297 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029297 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:22:56 -0800 Comment by iheartbeer While I am tolerant of a few minutes of chat I think that the people who get onto airplanes, trains, etc, with nothing to do should really wake up and realize that travel is not a novelty anymore. The person that they are sitting next to is not rude, but prepared, and has every right to use their travel time as they please.

]]> iheartbeer http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029299 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029299 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:24:52 -0800 Comment by j4zz3rgrl Just got home from a cross-country flight from hell...the only thing that got us through (me with autistic toddler in tow) was bonding-with-neighbors chit-chat. On hour three of sitting in the plane on the runway going nowhere, it was nice to hear about nieces and nephews.
Of course, the free booze helped too. Not me, responsible mommy that I am, but the plane atmosphere in general.

]]> j4zz3rgrl http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029300 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029300 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:27:27 -0800 Comment by Gay Seattle As someone who typically only flies in first class, that is what flying is all about; drinking a half dozen or more of complimentary glasses of Cognac and babbling about things you never thought you would tell a stranger on an airplane. Sometimes people don't want to interact and act like total conceited self absorbed geeks, like you did here, by listening to their headphones or reading a book. Most times I am able to induce the person next to me to partake in drinking copious amounts of alcohol even if they are not a drinker. One time I got a businessman to drink so much one Friday evening flight that I felt bad about his impending meet up with his wife. Flying in first class should definitely be a social experience.

]]> Gay Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029309 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029309 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:36:58 -0800 Comment by PopTart I pretty much talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime. But on a plane is one of the few places where I don't like to talk to people. Yet,sometimes when I have I've learned some amazing things. Thanks food additive man and nuclear submarine guy!

Wasn't it Malcom Gladwell who actually got an idea for his next book from talking to the person next to him on a plane?

]]> PopTart http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029332 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029332 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 14:56:55 -0800 Comment by defman23 I totally sympathize with this dilemma- if you say anything at all, even if you try to say it politely, you're just going to come off sounding like a jerk. Then you remain stuck next to the same person for hours who now probably feels slighted that you didn't want to talk to them and is sending "bad vibes" your way. It's not like they can switch seats easily as if they were on a bus.
I much prefer the passive agressive approach too and bust out the headphones ASAP.

]]> defman23 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029349 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029349 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:10:30 -0800 Comment by Fnarf "Psst -- hey, buddy, you know what? I killed a man last night. Choked him to death. I had to -- he was controlling the spiders. You know about the spiders? They're everywhere. They eat your thoughts. Didja know that?"

Then pull out a kid's book about spiders.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029350 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029350 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:12:18 -0800 Comment by Becky Yeah, #55, you don't sound self-absorbed at all.

]]> Becky http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029353 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029353 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:15:45 -0800 Comment by Jeff Poor, poor Dan, having to put up with the plebs!

]]> Jeff http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029361 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029361 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:28:05 -0800 Comment by clarity I totally support the passive headphones and hoodie route! Even if you simply say, " I need to work" you open yourself up to questions. Then they wanna know what you're working on...and no matter what you say they have a story they wanna tell you about that.

Really, sometimes it's difficult to be left alone...I even keep my headphones in with my ipod off... it keeps me from being interrupted!

]]> clarity http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029362 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029362 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:30:04 -0800 Comment by left coast It is passive-agressive bullshit. I wrote it, but deleted before posting. And Seattle and Boston are the centers for it. People are just aggressive-aggressive in NYC.

People have to go on craigslist to find friends in Seattle. You're a bunch a passive-agressive assholes who can't drive or even cross the street for that matter. There's no reason not to comment on it. I think the appropriate for you to do would be to say nothing and put your little headphones on or secretly yank my privileges. The weather ain't the only thing that sucks here. P.s. you can't plan worth shit either, everyone has a complaint about every plan and a better idea that they're not going to talk about.

]]> left coast http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029398 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029398 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 15:58:08 -0800 Comment by Kerri I hate it when Bobs strike up a conversation anywhere I can't escape from - Taxis, planes, hairdressers' chairs... That's why I bring a book everywhere. As soon as they start to strike up a conversation, I say "I'm at a really good part of this book and I can't put it down. You don't mind, do you?" No one has ever gotten upset with me, although I have had to duck out of "Really? What's it about?" a few times by saying "I'd really like to read now, thanks." Everyone gets that point.

]]> Kerri http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029404 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029404 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:04:32 -0800 Comment by Greg Here's what you do:

"Hi, Bob. My name is Dan Savage and I'm a faggot."

]]> Greg http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029412 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029412 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:12:37 -0800 Comment by MrEdCT Dan,
When I've had work or reading to do I've just let people know. Other times I've had some interesting conversations.

Just one thought: Aren't you, ah,,, a little,,,ah,,old for a hoodie?

]]> MrEdCT http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029426 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029426 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:22:53 -0800 Comment by mj I have never had anybody offer to shake my hand on a plane. Usually it is just a smile a friendly nod, ipod on and book opened!
I made the mistake one time of asking a lady about her little dog that was with her on the plane and I had to listen to her talk for hours about reincarnation! I guess her dog was somebody reincarnated.

Dan, if you ever sit next to me on a plane I wont shake your hand but I will give you a big huge hug and then leave you alone : )
I will make sure and disinfect myself first!

]]> mj http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029438 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029438 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:30:22 -0800 Comment by maxsolomon@home most of the time, if you make small talk for 5 minutes, then you have the needed informality to pass your ass right next to their face on your way to the can.

it wouldn't kill you to show some empathy, liberal elitist. frankly, i'd prefer to have "bob" back me up in one of these barfights i keep hearing HRC supporters go on about.

]]> maxsolomon@home http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029454 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029454 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:46:29 -0800 Comment by scythia You people who are calling bullshit have obviously never dealt with anyone who can't take a hint. And trust me, it's worse when you're a woman, and Bob is trying to be more than your seat-buddy on the plane. Sometimes even being out and out rude doesn't stop them. Sometimes the hoody and earphones are the only option.

It's not that I've never had a nice conversation on the plane, but most of the time I just want to be left alone. What the hell is wrong with that?!

]]> scythia http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029461 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029461 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 16:59:18 -0800 Comment by Bob As an actual Bob who used to fly a lot - I never struck up conversations with strangers next to me for many good reasons, including a possible Dan Savage Scenario where I'd be sitting next to someone who might be offended I didn't recognize him or her but in my defense I'd probably miss most major league celebrities sitting next to me, let alone the local minor leaguers.

]]> Bob http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029472 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029472 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:57 -0800 Comment by Shilo Urban @62 - Will people please shut the hell up about how hard it is to make friends in Seattle? This is all I ever hear! I guess it is, if you stay at home on your freaking couch every night and are scared to go up to someone and say: "Hello, my name is..."

But you are right about the dumb fucks who won't even cross the street with no traffic in sight and the pouring rain...grow some balls, people!

]]> Shilo Urban http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029503 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029503 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 17:52:45 -0800 Comment by Fnarf No, I got a better one -- just say "Hiya, Bob. Hey, do ya ever get one a these chicks just won't shut the hell up? I was banging this bitch last night and, God DAMN, I just started chokin' her. Heh heh, she's wearin' a turtleneck today, you c'n be DAMN sure. Hey, do you know what chlamydia looks like?"

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029554 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029554 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 18:57:48 -0800 Comment by gfish Being introverted is not the same thing as being passive-aggressive. If I'm reading a book, I shouldn't have to do something as terribly fraught with social danger as actively asking someone to stop talking to me. It's simply rude for them not to pick up on the clues and leave me alone. I'm being passive, they're being aggressive, but neither of us is being passive-aggressive.



And here's one voice saying thank god for Seattle's introverted culture. Is it such a horrible thing that one American city follows the norms that 25%-50% of us prefer?

]]> gfish http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029574 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029574 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 19:34:29 -0800 Comment by Bob Clinically, it may be passive aggressive in the sense that you hurt them by withholding conversation/interaction. Now, your intent may not be to injure them through passivity but functions and outcome pretty much determine that it is.

People often misuse the term, usually misattributing it to a more simply aggressive act that happens to be delivered in a sneaky covert manner, but I just ignore them when they do that.

]]> Bob http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029590 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029590 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 20:01:14 -0800 Comment by Bob Speaking of introversion, I bet Obama is an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs like me.

]]> Bob http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029591 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029591 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 20:02:26 -0800 Comment by UnCommon Sense When I fly, I prefer to rock back and forth chanting, "in'sh Allah, Allahu Akhbar..."

]]> UnCommon Sense http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029638 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029638 At Large Wed, 21 May 2008 23:03:05 -0800 Comment by left coast Bob @73, injuring people by withholding interaction is pretty much the description I have in mind. Maybe add quietly judging or silent piousness. The goal is really to stifle all attempts at friendliness and punish the outgoing.

Dan, this probably doesn't happen so much in first class, you cheap piece of shit.

]]> left coast http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029667 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029667 At Large Thu, 22 May 2008 07:10:02 -0800 Comment by Katie Put your earbuds on, but don't put on any music. It still sends a message.

]]> Katie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029736 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029736 At Large Thu, 22 May 2008 09:58:19 -0800 Comment by Dawgson It's sad, but I always fly with a hoody on now for the same reason.

Almost everyone I know across the country hates being spoken to on planes unless it's an attractive person who wants to bone.

]]> Dawgson http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029802 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1029802 At Large Thu, 22 May 2008 10:39:02 -0800 Comment by bs I tend to be more aggressive when I smell a plane talker coming on.

"Hi bob! I'm bs! God, what a relief! I was afraid I was going to be seated beside someone annoying and chatty, but I can tell you and I will get along just fine sitting in respectful silence. Enjoy!"

They don't really know what to say in response to that.

]]> bs http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1032050 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/well_hello_there#c1032050 At Large Sat, 24 May 2008 10:59:58 -0800