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1

It sounds like a dumb article, but are you being honest with yourself that you don't like it cuz it's bad writing, or because it is slightly (or more) critical of the Whiz Kid?

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 16, 2008 5:25 PM
2

Will you tell us the twist? I'm kinda hoping that it is that Homeland Security screwed the guy and contaminated the plastic and duct tape in his home, so he is the one that dies in a government experiment, while his wife lives.

Posted by Papayas | May 16, 2008 5:43 PM
3

@1: I'm not sure if it's critical of him or not, honestly. And I don't mind reading critical assessments of Obama. I prefer them, because I'm not into hagiography. This piece violates like every rule of good writing, and not in an I'm-so-good-I'm-flaunting-the-rules kind of way, either.

Posted by Paul Constant | May 16, 2008 5:54 PM
4

@2: Okay.

SPOILER WARNING:

Duct-taping himself inside his own house made the evil bacteria multiply even faster inside his home. So he poisoned himself to death by following the urgings of Homeland Security. His wife lives and he dies.

Get it? By making himself safe, he totally killed himself? Because it's, like, a metaphor for post-9/11 America or some shit.

Posted by Paul Constant | May 16, 2008 5:57 PM
5

I love you, Paul.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 16, 2008 6:01 PM
6

@3 -- What about faghagiography? That would be the uncritical worship of zaftig chicks who want to fuck guys who fuck guys.

I appreciate your balanced response, BTW. I wasn't trying to be too big an asshole.

And I am happy that Mr. Poe loves you.


Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 16, 2008 6:12 PM
7

Thanks, I wanted to know the twist, too. It's not like any of us are watching that movie, right?

Posted by w7ngman | May 16, 2008 6:29 PM
8

Jon, that movie was 96 miles of suck. Paul didn't spoil a thing. He told you what you need to know.

Word.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 16, 2008 7:07 PM
9

If these are the worst things that happened to you in a day, I think you're doing pretty well.

Posted by pox | May 16, 2008 7:08 PM
10

How pompous of you to want to read in a movie theater.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | May 16, 2008 7:38 PM
11

Wow, love the ending. That is so deep. Thanks for telling us THE TWIST. Instead of dying bc he was trying to protect himself, he should have died bc he was a greedy ass selfish bastard who really didn't love anyone but himself. I hope that the boy lived.

Posted by Papayas | May 16, 2008 8:27 PM
12

I've had those moments when you realize everything around you sucks. The best cure is usually to get up and out. It will distract you for awhile anyway. Happy weekend!

Posted by kid icarus | May 16, 2008 10:07 PM
13

I don't think I'd want to survive a big kill-off, what with the smell, and the dead bodies, and all the unattended machines and all.

Unless it were like some sort of "Godspell"-esque kill-off, where there were no smelly bodies, everything still worked, and I could snoop around people's stuff. Then I'd be all over it. I'd move into the Presidential Suite at the Westin, raid the minibar, and live out my days in a place with bad soap-opera decor, and killer views.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | May 16, 2008 11:14 PM
14

Your hint for the day, Paul: don't pick up any issue of Esquire printed after 1969 or thereabouts.

Posted by Fnarf | May 16, 2008 11:52 PM
15

I actually dug that Esquire piece.

It had a perspective I hadn't heard: Before we can come together as a nation, like Obama (and many others before him...his "one nation" message is by no means original) has talked about, we need to have some kind of pathos, some sort of acknowledgement of what's transpired over the last 8 years.

There has to be some communal understanding of how fucked up things have become, what sort of bad decisions we've made. Not just our leaders...US. All of us. As a nation. To try and just blindly move on without that validating moment of understanding and recognition is to doom us all to repeating those same mistakes.

It's a valid point...or at least something to think about. Maybe the writing bothers you, but given your level of revulsion, I have to think your issue is not about the writing. It's about that sentiment he's talking about, of needing to recognize the truly bad decisions we've made as an electorate.

I think it's worth pointing out, and I'm glad Pierce did it.

Posted by Matthew | May 17, 2008 12:06 AM
16

my gf and i rented that a month or two ago. you should be thankful you had the esquire, no matter how bad you think it was.

fuck that movie.

Posted by erik | May 17, 2008 5:17 AM
17

Esquire was always sold as a men's magazine (without the girlie pictures except for Vargas and Petty in the 40s), but it also had an indisputable reputation as a magazine of literary noteworthiness. It featured new Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Tom Wolfe, and Norman Mailer, for instance. Capote's Answered Prayers first appeared in its pages.

I used to subscribe, but hadn't in years. I was at some airport newsstand a couple of years ago and picked up a copy. I was pretty shocked at what Esquire had become - another gum-popping slave to pop culture.

Posted by Bauhaus | May 17, 2008 7:50 AM
18

"unreadable and unskimmable", writers who drop their own names in every piece they write. apt descriptions of the stranger, don't you think? ah, esquire. not to worry, paul, you'll be there soon.

Posted by Sporting Fellow | May 18, 2008 1:56 PM

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