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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Zapper Always Zaps Twice!

posted by on May 21 at 12:53 PM

Brace yourself…More “just in” on the Denny Way Zapper!

Behold the following missive, culled by a Slog commentor known only as “Maty Yeswad” from a bulletin originally posted by noted homosexuals and progenitors of The Bus Stop (the popular once-and-future Capitol Hill gay bar, not the place where street people crap) Rodney and Gary:

“I am all too cavalier about walking home by myself. Please take this seriously, I’d hate to see anyone get hurt.

Gary and I were walking home at 2:30 AM on Saturday (late Friday) on 13th between Olive and Denny when a man jumped out from behind bushes and attempted to shoot some type of weapon at us. It clicked twice and I saw a silhouette of what looked like a gun but Gary said he saw two lights on the gun and must have been a tazer. Nothing happened, he told us not to run and we ran a block away and called the police.

We (surprisingly) hadn’t had much to drink but still couldn’t make a clear identification because it was so dark. BE CAREFUL. I’m 6’4”, 225 pounds and don’t look like I have any money at all. The Hill just isn’t as safe as it used to be.

When the police came they told us to take 12th or other well lit streets home which might be good advice to everyone. It makes me really sad it has come to this. I’ve never seen so much crime for such a prolonged period in this neighborhood.”

Yes, the Mad Zapper is real. He’s out there. Beware!

RSS icon Comments


God, your neighborhood's really turning into a dangerous shithole, eh?

Posted by Hernandez | May 21, 2008 1:09 PM

Re Zapper: Yikes yikes yikes. Yikes.

Re Time: Rodney and Gary earn 3 gay points apiece for correctly identifying Saturday 2:30 AM as "late Friday."

Posted by Franzibald Smythe-Cromwell | May 21, 2008 1:11 PM

Personally, I feel safer knowing that the Seattle police are using their time busting the Eagle for showing nudie movies. We gotta protect the CHILDREN!

Posted by montex | May 21, 2008 1:27 PM

If anyone fucks with The Bus Stop guys I'll cap their ass. Thanks for so many great nights!!!

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 21, 2008 1:32 PM

This guy seems to be really, really bad at this. He doesn't deserve the "Mad Zapper" name, yo.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 21, 2008 1:32 PM

What ever happened to the guardian angels of Capitol Hill? Can we get them back?

Posted by scharrera | May 21, 2008 1:41 PM

Heard of a cab? A nice stroll after a few late night drinks could lead to real danger!

Posted by Vince | May 21, 2008 1:46 PM

I replaced the batteries, so next time I'll be ready!

P.S. I prefer just "The Zapper". Thanks.

Posted by The Zapper | May 21, 2008 1:51 PM

Note that, while you can get a taser for $300, it costs at least $25 per shot:

so the Mad Taserr artist is pretty soon going to bankrupt himself!

Posted by Andrew Taylor | May 21, 2008 1:59 PM

Note also:

The cartridges also scatter dozens of microdots that look like confetti. Each microdot has the registration number of the Taser or replacement cartridge so the weapon can be traced to the original purchaser of the weapon or cartridge. In the event of a TASER® Weapon ever utilized to commit a crime, law enforcement are able to trace the weapon back to the original purchaser.

Posted by Andrew Taylor | May 21, 2008 2:02 PM

@9 & @10 This guy wasn't using a Tazer with a projectile... otherwise they'd have seen two wired prongs hit one of them. More than likely he was using a stungun- it only works at close range, but leaves no confetti trail.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | May 21, 2008 2:12 PM

noted homosexuals and progenitors WHAT! Rodney and Gary are gay! NO WAY! LOL. Sweet guys those two.

So I think we need a group to stand up on 13th so we can get photos of the Zapper. He seems to stay in that area!

Posted by NikT22 | May 21, 2008 2:17 PM


"one-and-future" ?

Posted by the bloop | May 21, 2008 2:18 PM

The Bus Stop is re-opening this summer!


Posted by NikT22 | May 21, 2008 2:20 PM

Here's my advice: if you are walking home at night, and a man jumps out from behind bushes pointing a gun-shaped object at you, shoot him.

Posted by Stinky | May 21, 2008 5:31 PM

It seems like some kind of nice, convenient extendable nightstick/billy club would work well for such a situation. Aim at knee caps.

Or get a gun you pansy CappyHill peeps. For cereal.

Posted by Sam | May 21, 2008 10:00 PM

He's gonna fuck with the wrong one. It'll get him killt. I have a concealed firearms permit, and a concealed firearm. I know how to look like a potential victim. Be warned, evil punkass predators!

Posted by UnCommon Sense | May 21, 2008 10:53 PM

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