News The Zapper Always Zaps Twice!
posted by May 21 at 12:53 PM
onBrace yourself…More “just in” on the Denny Way Zapper!
Behold the following missive, culled by a Slog commentor known only as “Maty Yeswad” from a Myspace.com bulletin originally posted by noted homosexuals and progenitors of The Bus Stop (the popular once-and-future Capitol Hill gay bar, not the place where street people crap) Rodney and Gary:
“I am all too cavalier about walking home by myself. Please take this seriously, I’d hate to see anyone get hurt.Gary and I were walking home at 2:30 AM on Saturday (late Friday) on 13th between Olive and Denny when a man jumped out from behind bushes and attempted to shoot some type of weapon at us. It clicked twice and I saw a silhouette of what looked like a gun but Gary said he saw two lights on the gun and must have been a tazer. Nothing happened, he told us not to run and we ran a block away and called the police.
We (surprisingly) hadn’t had much to drink but still couldn’t make a clear identification because it was so dark. BE CAREFUL. I’m 6’4”, 225 pounds and don’t look like I have any money at all. The Hill just isn’t as safe as it used to be.
When the police came they told us to take 12th or other well lit streets home which might be good advice to everyone. It makes me really sad it has come to this. I’ve never seen so much crime for such a prolonged period in this neighborhood.”
Yes, the Mad Zapper is real. He’s out there. Beware!
Comments
God, your neighborhood's really turning into a dangerous shithole, eh?
Re Zapper: Yikes yikes yikes. Yikes.
Re Time: Rodney and Gary earn 3 gay points apiece for correctly identifying Saturday 2:30 AM as "late Friday."
Personally, I feel safer knowing that the Seattle police are using their time busting the Eagle for showing nudie movies. We gotta protect the CHILDREN!
If anyone fucks with The Bus Stop guys I'll cap their ass. Thanks for so many great nights!!!
This guy seems to be really, really bad at this. He doesn't deserve the "Mad Zapper" name, yo.
What ever happened to the guardian angels of Capitol Hill? Can we get them back?
Heard of a cab? A nice stroll after a few late night drinks could lead to real danger!
I replaced the batteries, so next time I'll be ready!
P.S. I prefer just "The Zapper". Thanks.
Note that, while you can get a taser for $300, it costs at least $25 per shot:
http://www.taser.org/aircarsetof21.html
so the Mad Taserr artist is pretty soon going to bankrupt himself!
Note also:
http://www.taser.org/projectile.html
The cartridges also scatter dozens of microdots that look like confetti. Each microdot has the registration number of the Taser or replacement cartridge so the weapon can be traced to the original purchaser of the weapon or cartridge. In the event of a TASER® Weapon ever utilized to commit a crime, law enforcement are able to trace the weapon back to the original purchaser.
@9 & @10 This guy wasn't using a Tazer with a projectile... otherwise they'd have seen two wired prongs hit one of them. More than likely he was using a stungun- it only works at close range, but leaves no confetti trail.
noted homosexuals and progenitors WHAT! Rodney and Gary are gay! NO WAY! LOL. Sweet guys those two.
So I think we need a group to stand up on 13th so we can get photos of the Zapper. He seems to stay in that area!
@AR
"one-and-future" ?
The Bus Stop is re-opening this summer!
Woo-HOO!
Here's my advice: if you are walking home at night, and a man jumps out from behind bushes pointing a gun-shaped object at you, shoot him.
It seems like some kind of nice, convenient extendable nightstick/billy club would work well for such a situation. Aim at knee caps.
Or get a gun you pansy CappyHill peeps. For cereal.
He's gonna fuck with the wrong one. It'll get him killt. I have a concealed firearms permit, and a concealed firearm. I know how to look like a potential victim. Be warned, evil punkass predators!
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