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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Morning News

posted by on May 20 at 8:18 AM

Primary: Obama expected to gain majority of pledged delegates.

Powder Keg: Iraqi troops occupy Sadr city.

Sorry State: Bush personally apologizes for shooting of Koran.

Senators: Strike deal to prevent 500,000 home foreclosures.

Maybe if the junta had allowed aid earlier this wouldn’t be a problem: Burma warns of food shortage.

My Tunes: Napster rolls out massive catalog for MP3 store to challenge Apple. But will this one carry Led Zeppelin?

Canary in the Coal Mine: Home Depot reports only one-third expected net income.

Erectile Problems: Linked to heart disease.

Launching: Google Health.

Deploying: 40,000 US troops notified of fall tours.

Surviving: Chinese in rubble.

Screening: McCain campaign reviews staff for lobbyist ties.

Rising: Barrel of oil reaches 129 bucks.

Ruling: Federal court finds SPD made wrongful arrest.

Disclosing: City of Seattle worst in state at responding to records requests.

A state audit found 30 public agencies, from King County to the city of Yakima, were mostly cooperative and timely in responding to requests for records they must disclose by law — with one notable exception.

The city of Seattle scored worse than any other government agency and was “nonresponsive” to 80 percent of the public-records requests received under the audit, released Monday.

Gone to His Head: Gov. Patterson hospitalized for migraine.

From Sexual Happiness in Marriage: A Christian Interpretation of Sexual Adjustment in Marriage, by Herbert J. Miles, Ph.D. Copyright 1967.

Sexually, man is timed quickly. He can become aroused through sexual stimulation with his wife and usually reach an orgasm in a very short time, two minutes, one, minute, or even less time. This is normal for him. He will gradually learn to control himself, but he will always tend to be “quick on the trigger.” His wife should never say to him, “You beast, why don’t you control yourself?” She should understand him in terms of his quick timing sexually, and that God created him this way.

On the other hand, woman is timed more slowly, sometimes very slowly, as compared with a man. Her husband should never say, “You iceberg, why don’t you hurry up?” He should realize that she is not responsible for being timed slowly. He should realize that all men’s wives are just like his, and that God created them this way.

RSS icon Comments


Zepplin? For shame, Dominizzle!

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 20, 2008 8:49 AM

Whoops, sorry about the typo, Poe. I was a little rigid on my dirigibles this morning. Fixed now.

Posted by Dominic Holden | May 20, 2008 8:53 AM

I love these christian sex excerpts!

I wonder why no mention of strategies guys use to slow down. Like beating off a half hour before fucking, or imagining Lou Gherig's retirement speech? I mean, isn't the point to educate young horny men?

Posted by Mike in MO | May 20, 2008 9:09 AM

mike 23: this 1967 xtian text is humane and accurate. i applaud it for that. ok, no actual techniques for remedy are outlined, but then i could say that about all the secular present-day lame marriage counseling i've wasted my time with too.

Posted by ellarosa | May 20, 2008 9:20 AM

typo. i meant "mike @3"

Posted by ellarosa | May 20, 2008 9:21 AM

Well hot damn, this book is actually talking sense. Who'd have thought?

Posted by Greg | May 20, 2008 9:22 AM

“You beast, why don’t you control yourself?” This must be the ultimate pick-up line of all time. Ever. I shall use it often. Thank you, Dominic, for providing it.

Posted by Spoogie | May 20, 2008 9:22 AM

The fact that this was written in 1967, and almost acknowledges the existence of a female orgasm, makes it quite ahead of its time for churchy sex counseling.

Posted by Mahtli69 | May 20, 2008 9:41 AM

@7 - I rather like that line... "you beast" indeed.

also the "You iceberg..." one could potentially lead to cheesy pick-up line, such as "Hey baby, how 'bout I melt your polar icecaps, causing a rise in the sea-level if you know what I mean" *wink*

Posted by high and bi | May 20, 2008 9:43 AM

I think my husband and I have just acquired new nicknames for each other.

Posted by Julie | May 20, 2008 9:51 AM

If this was read in front of a brick wall at a place called... say, The Laugh Hole, it would be hilarious. Is there anything in that book about the differences between New York and L.A. or Seattle and Kent?

Posted by CommonKnowledge | May 20, 2008 10:21 AM

Julie @19, you don't sound like a beast...

Posted by Spoogie | May 20, 2008 10:31 AM

Sorry, that should have been Julie @10

Posted by Spoogie | May 20, 2008 10:33 AM

Don't forget the exciting story about Tony & Cherie Blair getting it on in the Queen's estate:

Posted by Greg | May 20, 2008 10:48 AM

my girlfriend calls me beast. BEAST!

Posted by Bellevue Ave | May 20, 2008 1:33 PM

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