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Friday, May 30, 2008

The Blood Bath That Wasn’t

posted by on May 30 at 21:41 PM

jonahsmith1.jpg

Smith’s sliding garage door is broken but no one’s dead.

According to Smith employee Tyler, Smith’s bar manager was trying to lower the sliding glass door earlier this evening—and was having trouble—when it came crashing down. No customers were hurt and the bar manager was sent to the hospital for stitches. The bar is closed for the evening.

Smith owner Linda Derschang was on the scene and she says she’s put a call in to the door company.

Derschang says she expects that Smith to be open for business tomorrow.

RSS icon Comments

1

In related news, apparently there's a place called Smith on Capitol Hill in Seattle that had a glass door?

Posted by bluh? | May 30, 2008 10:04 PM
2

In related news, sales of glass panes on Capitol Hill projected to increase this week.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 30, 2008 11:15 PM
3

There isn't a single other Seattle neighborhood in which any Stranger writer would consider this news, let alone news deserving more than one slog post.

Posted by Trevor | May 30, 2008 11:18 PM
4

OK, which one of you Belltown agitators for Slog happy decided to take the competition out???

When's the tape of Smith's crazy minister going to be released?

p.s. Glad everyone is OK and that the bartender wasn't even more severely hurt.

Posted by PopTart | May 30, 2008 11:19 PM
5

I don't want to be an alarmist, but across the street, on the grassy knoll, I saw a puff of smoke right before the garage door fell...

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 30, 2008 11:45 PM
6

There is no truth to the rumor that I hired Fnarf to sabotage the window ...

Really.

So, guess SLOG Happy is in Belltown, huh?

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 31, 2008 1:13 AM
7

ohhh hell noez.
next you will be telling me the octopus tentacles won't be arriving at pike street fish fry until next Tuesday. Whatever shall we do?
Que frommage?

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | May 31, 2008 1:17 AM
8

The Stranger... first on the scene... at a bar.

Posted by Andy | May 31, 2008 2:41 AM
9

all negative comments about simth will be removed from this blog. after all, simth sponsors 85% of the 95% stoners that aspire to be journalists (and 35% of the time, even fail at being a decent blogger). i am as sure of this as i am that utah is for gay marriages. ≥ 80% error, of course.

oh, and, i fucked simth. or simth fucked me. nobody cares about that, just liek nobody cares about this post. so why do we asshats feel compelled to respond?

Posted by mmbb | May 31, 2008 3:08 AM
10

Well, we're going for brunch for my (not legally married) gay husband's birthday today, so I hope they're open.

And to the "detractors", point taken, of course, but you must realize that in addition to being your source for all things political, artistic, and important, the Stranger and Slog are also part of our home town paper. Please make a note of it.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | May 31, 2008 8:10 AM
11

Good. I hate one-word restaurants like Lark, Tilth, Brasa. I hope this is the work of the same group against "sentence bands" (Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Gene Loves Jezebel, Everything But the Girl)

Posted by Licorus | May 31, 2008 8:58 AM
12

yeah, one-word restaurant names are so dumb and trendy, like starbucks, mcdonalds, and subway. besides the fact that you're talking about the bar, Smith Pub n' Grub.
who are you goldilocks? one word is not enough, but three is toooo much!
idiot.

Posted by d | May 31, 2008 9:54 AM
13

Last night was pretty awful at Smith. Thankfully more people weren't hurt but our sweet bar manager Izzy was pretty cut up. Lots of stitches and a slight concussion. Last night while we were waiting for the door to be fixed we looked at Slog as Jonah had been by earlier. I wanted to see what people were writing as you all can be a tough crowd, often funny & sometimes very sweet. Pop Tart - number 4 - gave us our first laugh of the night.

We decided to call off brunch today as everyone on staff was pretty shaken up. We'll be open at 4 though.

Posted by LD | May 31, 2008 10:16 AM
14

The comment @9 is the lowest-quality Slog comment I have ever seen.

Posted by Fnarf | May 31, 2008 10:31 AM
15

Get over your resentment, non-Hill residents. Capitol Hill really is the only neighborhood that matters. It's a provable fact.

Posted by tsm | May 31, 2008 10:57 AM
16

And when we return: Dan Savage's toilet overflows!

Oh, wait. We've seen that post already, I think.

Posted by oneway | May 31, 2008 11:45 AM
17

In related and equally important news, vandals recently tagged graffiti onto the dumpsters outside the Lake City Taco del Mar. No one was hurt, and the fumes from the spray paint dissipated so as not to negatively impact pregnant women and children eating at the nearby Dick's. There is concern that the chemicals used to remove the graffiti, when this eventually happens, could cause as much harm to passers-by's health as the graffiti itself, though there may some mental overexertion dealing with how possessive nouns are formed in English. (notice how the apostrophe-s has to go before the noun being modified and *not* after the pluralized morpheme early in that word, cf. the Queen of England's palace, not the Queen's of England palace, unless you are irrationally fearful, as most copy editors are, of this structure and must resort to periphrastic solutions using "of" such as "health of passers-by" or "palace of Queen of England"). In the end, the most shocking issue with this tragedy is that it didn't warrant mention in either the PI or the Stranger.

Posted by Simac | May 31, 2008 2:23 PM
18

Nothing breaks the tension of the Michigan delegate debate like Fnarf tearing some poor 12 year old straight boy apart on Slog @ 9. I needed that. Simth fucked me, indeed.

Posted by Looptid | May 31, 2008 4:11 PM
19

Slog tipper Mike is a moron.

Made an attempt today at 1. They're still closed. Had no idea any of this happened. Poo.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 31, 2008 4:22 PM
20

If there's an urban-legendary Blood Bath at Two Bells tonight, then we'll know: Slog Happy is turning into The Godfather. For unity's sake, I say we plan to hold Slog Happy at Amante's at Denny and Olive. Until then, better not walk under the sign...

Posted by Jeff Stevens | May 31, 2008 4:41 PM
21

On the night in question, which from-here-on-out shall be referred to as 5/30, I wasn't even at Smith. I was about to leave my apt. to meet 2 friends there, when one of them called and gave the report that I then passed along (almost verbatim) as a slog-tip. Dan Savage wasn't there either, he wasn't even in Seattle, but he decided to pass it along to the Slog proper. It was presented as a rumor, and treated as such by readers, who attempted to clarify and update the events. "Truth" in this age is a tricky thing. It's a little scary when you can anonymously email an account of an event and have it instantly published on a newsish blog. But I guess that's wiki. Can we start a Wikipedia entry for "5/30"?

Posted by Slog Tipper Mike | June 1, 2008 10:25 AM

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