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Monday, May 12, 2008

Tell Us How You Really Feel, Vegetarians!

posted by on May 12 at 14:30 PM

Ha ha. Have you guys seen this billboard at the north end of the University Bridge? Ha ha ha.

Sorry that picture is so terrible. I took it with my cell phone through the window while driving. In case you can’t tell, someone (Spiderman?) climbed up on that McDonalds billboard with a can of spray paint, crossed out “beef,” and wrote “shit.”

I have a few thoughts on this billboard situation:

1. Ha ha ha!

2. Hey McDonalds people - did it occur to you that a picture of a hamburger is not, in fact, a numerical digit? So really your ad could be more accurately interpreted as “1% beef”? (Kudos, Andrew.)

3. Anyway, those hamburgers are clearly not 100% beef. Quite a large percentage of them is made of bun, and ketchup, and pickle, and American cheese, and wilty lettuce, and onions. Think about it, McDonalds. Think for two seconds.

4. As for YOU, climbing graffiti person, there’s also NO WAY those hamburgers are 100% shit. First of all, if a Big Mac was just two literal shit patties on a bun, McDonalds would no longer be a popular hamburger restaurant. And like I said, on that billboard there is an obvious preponderance of bun (and cheese and pickle, etc), which is visibly not molded out of the feces of any animal. And even if there IS some feces in the McDonalds beef patties, there’s no way they make it to even 1% feces. That would be SO MUCH FECES! I think “100% shittywould be closer to your intended meaning. Because seriously. Eew. I don’t want to eat that shit either.

5. Ha ha! It says “shit” really big! Where the babies can see!

RSS icon Comments

1

I think he means shit in a metaphorical sense

Posted by mnm | May 12, 2008 2:37 PM
2

HUHH!?!?! Come again?

Posted by Lindy | May 12, 2008 2:38 PM
3

You know what is usually covered in shit? Organic produce.

Posted by Giffy | May 12, 2008 2:40 PM
4

ha-ha, swearing....

Posted by boxofbirds | May 12, 2008 2:40 PM
5

Lindy, you're my favorite. Want to move to Minneapolis and marry a straight girl and live in non-sexual domestic bliss?

Posted by Ariel | May 12, 2008 2:40 PM
6

Shit in. Shit out. You are what you eat.

Posted by Vince | May 12, 2008 2:41 PM
7

I loves me a burger, but I agree with this bit of graffiti. This is could be an editorial on the state of McDonalds' (non) food and not necessarily a statement about eating meat.

Posted by DLF | May 12, 2008 2:42 PM
8

McDonalds hamburgers are shit. No self-respecting meat lover would disagree.

Posted by Jay | May 12, 2008 2:44 PM
9

And yeah, it's a fucking metaphor. So I guess you lose.

Posted by Jay | May 12, 2008 2:45 PM
10

Next time they tell me The Stranger is full of shit, I'll say "No! Think for two seconds. It's full of newsprint, ink, and those stupid ad inserts and perfume samples that fall out all over the sidewalk."

But what if they reply, "No, The Stranger is, in fact, full of shit?" Guess I wouldn't have a comeback for that one.

Anyhoo, meat isn't shit. It's murder.

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 2:47 PM
11

Meat isn't murder, it's yummy.

Posted by Jason Josephes | May 12, 2008 2:48 PM
12

I've just been told newsprint is a kind of ink. Not sure what that means in this context.

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 2:49 PM
13

Lindy, you have just nearly made me laugh tea out my nose. (That hurts. But it would be worth it in this case.)

Posted by Abby | May 12, 2008 2:49 PM
14

@5: Yes.

@7: I know.

@9: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Posted by Lindy | May 12, 2008 2:50 PM
15

Thank you, Lindy West, for making me chuckle so. Please post more often.

Posted by funnyburgers | May 12, 2008 2:50 PM
16

...which brings to mind the best T-shirt I've seen of late.

Meat is Murder (in large bold font)

and, underneath, in much smaller type

(tasty, tasty murder).

I'm sure McD's sales will plummet as a result of this billboard....

Posted by Mr. X | May 12, 2008 2:51 PM
17

Your commentary is more funny than the sign.

Posted by pox | May 12, 2008 2:52 PM
18

Maybe they are referring to the fact that beef is the #1 cause of global warming, the #1 preventable cause of death in the US, and the #1 cause of global deforestation.

There probably wasn't enough room on the billboard for all that.

Posted by lc | May 12, 2008 2:54 PM
19

Too bad we don't have "Where's The Beef?" billboards so we can post a pic of Sen McCain on top of the burger ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 2:54 PM
20

14: I think the meaning of what I said is overwhelmingly clear. I was agreeing with a previous poster who wrote that "shit" was intended metaphorically and not literally. "100 percent shit" does not equal "100 percent excrement." "Shit" here means something of exceedingly low quality, and doesn't require a "ty" at the end to make sense.

Posted by Jay | May 12, 2008 2:55 PM
21

I disagree that the commentary is funnier than the sign.

Posted by fith | May 12, 2008 2:58 PM
22

How do you know a vegetarian did this?

Posted by DOUG. | May 12, 2008 3:03 PM
23

@22: I don't. But it just fit better in the headline than "person with a can of spray paint who doesn't like mcdonalds for a variety of ethical and environmental and dietary reasons." Or whatever.

Posted by Lindy | May 12, 2008 3:14 PM
24

Maybe they just love Burger King that much.

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 3:17 PM
25

I love seeing vegans with leather shoes for what it's worth.

Posted by bobcat | May 12, 2008 3:17 PM
26

@20: Really? Wow. I never would have known that had you not explained it to me. Thanks!

Posted by Abby | May 12, 2008 3:20 PM
27

Beef is the #1 preventable cause of death? Maybe for cows...

Posted by fullrotor | May 12, 2008 3:21 PM
28

Maybe they were being literal?

Like it says in Fast Food Nation:

"There is literally shit in the meat."

Or that the animals are literally cannibalizing each other when the remnants of the slaughtered are fed back to the living.

I mean, they wouldn't be talking about those quite literal, and quite real facts, would they?

PS to Lindy: I bet there's more shit in each burger than there are globs of ketchup and mustard.

Posted by Peace Czar | May 12, 2008 3:23 PM
29

@23: Really? I think there are lots of happy omnivores who don't like McD's burgers for the simple reason of taste.

Posted by Gloria | May 12, 2008 3:32 PM
30

Trenchant commentary.

Posted by Tlazolteotl | May 12, 2008 3:38 PM
31

Has anyone watched out to make sure it's not one of the Robotic Hover Burger Kings that did it?

I don't trust their fingers ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 3:42 PM
32

This is my favorite slog post in a long time. That is all.

Posted by Juris | May 12, 2008 3:44 PM
33

at least if it were shit it would be an organic substance. its the chemicals that don't exist in nature that're oogy.

Posted by Polka lips now | May 12, 2008 3:50 PM
34

A friend of mine has a photo on flickr of a similar McD's billboard: "Wake up and smell the [shit]".

Posted by egid | May 12, 2008 3:53 PM
35

26: I wasn't talking to you.

Posted by Jay | May 12, 2008 3:54 PM
36

How vegetarians really feel: rather humorless, actually.

Posted by Abby | May 12, 2008 4:02 PM
37

They do, Abby?

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 4:13 PM
38

Maybe it should read 1% shit. The rest are fillers.

Posted by DJSauvage | May 12, 2008 4:30 PM
39

1. commenters, get a life!

2. shitty food = shitty people == we r superior woo-hoo ! They probably cling to their guns, too.

Posted by PC | May 12, 2008 4:32 PM
40

All I know is I'd rather be a humorless vegetarian than a...

...MURDERER!!!

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 4:38 PM
41

Why not just become a vegetarian with a sense of humor instead, elenchos? There are many of them around - join the crowd.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 5:46 PM
42

way to stick it to the man with that brilliant graffiti commentary. oh wait, no, i mean the opposite.

Posted by impressed | May 12, 2008 5:49 PM
43

Vegetables of the World!

Rise up!

Throw off your root-bound shackles and resist the vegetable-murdering "ethical vegetarians" that murder our brethren in cold sap to feed their animal-based vampiric plant life!

Use your thorns and your vines to bring them DOWN!

Posted by The Lettuce Stalks At Midnight | May 12, 2008 5:49 PM
44

Um, what about tofu burgers?

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 5:50 PM
45

even though i'm just a lil old vegetarian, not a vegan, i DO wear vegan shoes. and who says vegetarians don't have a sense of humor? anyone who was at slog happy hour can tell you i'm a laugh riot. and beef is shit. along with poultry, pork and fish.

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 12, 2008 6:02 PM
46

Well, I say any vegetarin with a sense of humor is a self-hating Jew. Unless anyone would care to try to draw distinction between laughing at things such as jokes, and eating a meat dinner served by Ted Nugent himself. I mean a real distinction. There isn't one.

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 6:14 PM
47

My roommate caught a picture of that billboard in the process of being cleaned of the dirty, dirty graffiti. As political commentary it's pretty staid, but I still say kudos to the radical that just wants the world to wake up.
Kudos.

Posted by Enigma | May 12, 2008 7:09 PM
48

C'mon, can't you people hear the sobbing throes of heads of lettuce being SHREDDED???? Or the painful cry of a potato as it is RIPPED from the womb in the ground, or when baby pineapples are BRUTALLY CORED and RAPED????? I wont even begin to cover what happens for POOR TOFU and their CURDS! Veggies have feelings too!

Motel Hell aint got nuthin' on you murderers.

/sarcasm.

Posted by bobcat | May 12, 2008 7:12 PM
49

Open your snackhole!

Posted by jim | May 12, 2008 7:16 PM
50

God, this is why I'm so happy I moved over here. What a hip city. Taking a shot at McDonalds! The meat is shit! Hahaha. How fucking cutting edge is that?

Man, you guys invented hip. McDonalds is shit!

Posted by Bob | May 12, 2008 7:19 PM
51

elenchos, you are getting a prostate massage with a jackhammer at the next slog happy hour. square biz.

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 12, 2008 8:17 PM
52

Ah HA! See? See!!! This is what happens when you stand up to FASCISM! Just like I said. Hitler! HITLER TYLER MOORE!

Oh, wait. You're talking about a Jackhammer; 1-1/4 shot of vodka, layered in a highball with pineapple juice, right? Sure. I'll take a Jackhammer square biz. I usually like them on the rocks but I'll try one 'square biz' whatever that is. Salted rim or something I guess?

Posted by elenchos | May 12, 2008 9:13 PM
53

No, he meant those automatic pneumatic drills that they have nowadays - that kind of jackhammer.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 12, 2008 9:53 PM
54

'she' meant, will. 'she'. last time i checked i had a vagina, not a johnson.

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 13, 2008 6:51 AM
55

Lindy,

Your guess that Spiderman was the culprit of the detournement in question is 50% correct. The culprit was in fact Spiderman The Anarchist Arachnid, whom I've also spotted at local protests against the WTO, the War on Terror, and Scientology. He's never been a close personal friend of mine (koff koff), but I applaud his initiative nonetheless, no conflict of interest unintended.

Yay Spidey! Yay Anarchy! Yay Vegan Terrorism!

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | May 13, 2008 10:18 AM
56

I am superiror to people who love McDonalds. Eat a real burger, hicks.

Posted by Jay | May 13, 2008 2:55 PM

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