Slog - Comments on Suicide and Wood Chippers

Comment by vooodooo84

vooodooo84 — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:57:52 -0800

I think i would have gone head first, no chance of annoying interlopers then.

Comment by Cato the Younger Younger

Cato the Younger Younger — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:59:16 -0800

That is SOOOO "Fargo"!!! I love it!!!!

Comment by Will in STL

Will in STL — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:01:02 -0800

This is so not the way I want to go. Unless, of course, someone was filming.

Comment by Non

Non — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:02:56 -0800

Aw the only drawback to reading Slog is knowing exactly what will be in Last Days each week in advance, which used to be my favorite part

Comment by unwelcomed

unwelcomed — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:03:20 -0800

When contemplating suicide one should always remember that Murphy's Law still applies.

Poor bastard.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:04:38 -0800

Jesus. I've fed those beasts before. that's terrifying. I was standing next to one once when someone fed some debris that happened to include an old lead sash weight from a window. That thing shot fist-sized chunks of its blades a quarter-mile into the woods.

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:07:45 -0800

Omg.

Comment by ab-fab

ab-fab — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:16:26 -0800

The most common and cliched reaction I hear to suicide is that it's "cowardly" and that only weak people kill themselves. I, however, could not disagree more. No doubt plenty would also opine that diving head-first into a wood chipper is just plain dumb, and that may be, but it's also damn ballsy, and clearly the will of a firmly resolute (read: forceful, not weak) suicide.

Comment by eric

eric — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:17:37 -0800

If the operator hadn't shut it off, would the cops/insurance companies have hassled him? God forbid the guy got arrested for smoking pot 15 years ago, the P-I would put him on the front page.

Still, attempted-suicide dude is going to be a mess. A horribly handicapped mess.

Comment by Julie

Julie — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:27:28 -0800

I have this (half-baked) theory that everybody (or at least everybody that is occasionally prone to think about things like this) has a "way they would go" if they committed suicide. A visual in their head when suicidal thoughts rear their head.

Otherwise, people would just do it in the most painless way possible, and there wouldn't be things like Elliott Smith stabbing himself in the heart and this guy. I get nervous around guns because for many years that was my visual.

Comment by Spoogie

Spoogie — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:35:26 -0800

Garden burger, anyone?

Comment by violet_dagrinder

violet_dagrinder — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:39:22 -0800

Gawd damn, the Slog sucks today.

STOP DOING THIS TO US.

And yeah, shutting it off was, while understandable, a regrettable action.

:shudder:

Comment by Aislinn

Aislinn — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:42:25 -0800

@10: I'm not conspiracy theorist, but I find it entirely unlikely that Elliott Smith's death was unassisted.

As far as the witness report of "guts hanging out," that sounds like an exaggeration, considering the other reporting on the extent of the injury. Perhaps the witness mistook shredded, stringy, bloody muscle and tendons for "guts."

This also reminds me of this guy in Maine who has no face (and no, it's not Mel Gibson). The poor dude tried to kill himself by shooting himself in the head with a shotgun, but instead he just blew off his face and survived. Faceless. Forever. Well, not forever, but you get the idea. Thought your life sucked before? Try living without a face!

Comment by kk

kk — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:44:05 -0800

I can't imagine that, upon seeing someone jump into a wood chipper, that anyone would mull over which "option" is more "humane."

Comment by Todd

Todd — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:55:50 -0800

So glad I was eating when I read that, I guess it's my own fault that the title "Suicide and Wood Chippers" didn't tip me off.

Comment by j4zz3rgrl

j4zz3rgrl — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:00:03 -0800

Well, that's just gross. And messy. Wonder who had to clean that up?

Comment by Bob

Bob — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:08:41 -0800

Well if he wasn't feeling very chipper before he dove in ...

Comment by Julie

Julie — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:22:25 -0800

@13 - I agree about Elliott Smith -- there's all the speculation about his girlfriend, etc. But, when I first saw the headline about him stabbing himself in the heart, that's when the thought about "everyone must have some way they envision killing themselves" popped into my head.

Comment by Julie

Julie — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:25:05 -0800

If I may usurp Will in Seattle's role for a moment... Bob @17 FTW.

Comment by lymerae

lymerae — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:09:42 -0800

It sounds like the operator of the wood chipper tried to shut off the machine before it could hurt the poor guy--he was leaping to the ground to shut it off before the guy had even jumped. He was, of course, too late. But he had no way of knowing that, and he probably felt like he had to try. Actually, he probably felt nothing of the sort; I imagine it was a split-second gut reaction, not a logically reasoned one. And once the machine is off, of course you can't start it back up to finish off the job. There's no real better-case scenario here.

Comment by Breklor

Breklor — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:29:31 -0800

Gotta side with @20 on this one. Unless the operator somehow miraculously had time to look in the chipper, assess the guy's situation, think "Would he be better off if I let him finish getting ground up?" - by which time the point would have been moot, of course.

And being a stout defender of personal responsibility, I must point out that Wood Chipper Jumper Dude chose a method of suicide that was not foolproof, and failed. The responsibility for his future pain and suffering lies squarely upon his own shoulders (shoulder? I guess he's only got the one left) and the operator shares none of it.

Comment by Balt-O-Matt

Balt-O-Matt — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:32:32 -0800

OMFG. I used to use a wood chipper for work (not this large, though) and the thought of something like this happening freaked the fuck out of me. Those really big ones are crazy.

They should've just let the machine grind on.

Comment by Irena

Irena — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:01:07 -0800

Julie, I had this conversation just yesterday at work! We decided that being forcefed till your stomach burst would probably suck, as would being eaten alive by dachsunds (imagine the dissonance: Dachsunds -- so cute! AAAAAH THEY'RE EATING ME ALIVE! But... they're SO CUTE!)

Anyway, my death of choice had me in a plastic-lined bathtub (no mess), listening to 'Bolero', covered in rose petals, being poisoned by a combination of Cointreau and sleeping pills.

Comment by CP

CP — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:02:32 -0800

I think it was just a cry for help.

Comment by RainMan

RainMan — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:06:29 -0800

I had a friend back east who was permanently blind from a suicide attempt in 1983. I used to read mail for him and assist him with paying bills and running various household errands. Today he has earned his college degree online using sound computer software and has married a wonderful (normal visioned) woman with whom he is very happy.

Don't really have a point; just thought I would share. But I somehow don't think Wood Chipper Guy will be able to put his life back together as successfully after his attempt to end it.

Comment by ellarosa

ellarosa — Thu, 22 May 2008 20:17:59 -0800

13, live and learn--and resolve to do a better job of it next time. which of course, you would if you were even worse off than you were the first time you tried.