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Thursday, May 22, 2008

SIFF Opening Night Live Slog!

posted by on May 22 at 18:40 PM

Update! 9:50pm

Well, I did not particularly enjoy watching The Battle in Seattle. Maybe it was the vague sea turtle politics, or Movie Gary Locke’s craaaazy accent (because all Asians have English as their second language?), or every word anyone spoke at any point when there was a lull in the explosions: “I don’t want the cover of some brochure magazine to be the closest we ever come to adventure.” “You want adventure? You just signed up for the greatest adventure of all!”

There are about a million Stranger writers here, so I’m sure they’ll have more to say about the movie tomorrow. For now, here’s Angela Garbes on Charlize Theron: “She didn’t get to do much in this movie but lay in the fetal position and cry.”

After the movie, during the Q&A, Stuart Townsend announced “We’re as indie as it gets.” Really? As indie as it gets?

It is after 10pm and the fried snacks in the VIP tent are now cold. I’m skipping the press conference, but if it’s anything like the post-show Q&A it should yield many variations on the phrase, “I read the script and it was just so powerful, you know?” Now I’m going to go back and get some cake.

And finally, I give you Charlize Theron’s legs, Michelle Rodriguez’s posture, and Andre Benjamin’s adorable face:


Hey people!

You know what is fucking boring? Celebrities. Walking around. Celebrities walking around talking to John Curley about their characters from Battle in Seattle.

The first thing that happened to me when I got here was that I missed Andre 3000, the only celebrity I actually wanted to see/photograph. Luckily, the back of his outfit (which I witnessed while chasing him down a hallway, before being savagely denied entrance to the Very Important Tent) did not disappoint: mismatched double denim and a straw hat.

I don’t have much time, because I have to go, you know, watch that movie, but here are a few first impressions:

1. The Loneliest Curley

John Curley has stitches in his startlingly aged neck. Did someone knife our Curley?

2. Michelle Rodriguez is seriously wearing the worst outfit ever. I’ll leave the dressing while drunk jokes to y’alls peoples.

3. The Foot of Rodriguez

M-Rod says: “My character’s pretty complicated but, you know, she’s a cool chick.”

4. Were you wondering what Charlize Theron’s tiny nose looks like? You’re welcome!

5. According to my sources, Eddie Vedder and le Charlize just had a meet-cute on the red carpet. I would have photographed it but I was in here. Blogging. For you.

More to come after the movie!

RSS icon Comments


I don't know, Rodriguez's toe looks pretty lonely under all that denim fray.

Posted by Meagan! | May 22, 2008 8:25 PM

Anyone who says "meet-cute" deserves to behold the flimsy veneer between their pitiful attempts at self-actualization and the crushing reality of nothingness. That and a punch in the face.

Posted by Ziggity | May 22, 2008 8:46 PM

Eddie Vedder!

Posted by rtw | May 22, 2008 9:16 PM

Eddie Vedder? Who fucking cares? Eddie Vedder is a no-talent ass clown. He doesn't sing songs, he murders them.

Posted by Irena | May 22, 2008 10:15 PM

It doesn't matter what Rodriguez wears. She's still the hottest thing around.

Posted by Tizzle | May 22, 2008 10:35 PM

You know what's REALLY funny?

Apparently, there's already a bit torrent version of "Battle In Seattle" floating around the Internet (Google "battle in seattle bit torrent" - the spam filter seems to be preventing me from posting a link) -

- but nobody seems terribly interested in downloading it.

In other words, they can't get people to even steal this movie.

Posted by COMTE | May 22, 2008 10:46 PM

World Trade Center was better as far as recent history fiction goes, and thats saying something. The only redeeming part of the movie was the stock footage. Had they just stuck to that and not tried to ham in every hollywood stereotype form a magic negro to the strong yet man needing woman, it would have been watchable.

Though I have to say, watching the pregnant woman get whacked randomly in the stomach made me laugh quite a bit. I wasn't really sure they would go there, but go there they did.

If I spent six years of my life making that, I would probably find a new career, or just kill myself.

Posted by Giffy | May 22, 2008 11:00 PM

The best thing ever said about John Curley was actually yelled at him as he rode by in a parade: "HEY CURLEY - YOU SUCK!!"

Posted by Explorer | May 22, 2008 11:08 PM

Only Andre Benjamin can make white socks with Hush Puppies look good.

Posted by laterite | May 22, 2008 11:25 PM

John Curley? GOD that is one ugly OLD gas bag. And what makes him really sad: he thinks he is so damn cool. Pathetic, and he is aging worse than that blonde old bimbo who does the news on King 5, Jean Enerson?

Yeah, #8 is totally right!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 23, 2008 12:17 AM

The Q&A session after that supremely mediocre movie made me want to puke my face off.

Posted by Dan | May 23, 2008 12:23 AM

Do you think Stuart Townsend actually bothered to ask one motherfucker who was there what their experience was like? That was one of the best weekends of my life--I remember being on Pine next to the paramount with the Droids banging their shields in unison, tear gas, helicopters circling above and someone brilliant and fantastic played Jimi Hendrix's National Anthem on a loud speaker out of the round circular was the MOST amazing visual imagery I have ever seen in my life and I know this movie will f u c k i t u p.....

Posted by RubberBullllllllet | May 23, 2008 12:42 AM

Andre went to the Cinerama tonight to see Indy.

Posted by Ivory | May 23, 2008 1:31 AM

Saw the movie tonight and I'd give it one star out of five. It was horrid. I fell asleep twice.... There was so much wrong with the movie it is almost impossible to find anything right.

What I have been cherishing for years since my involvement with N30, was how the whole thing was so spontaneous, how all these different groups with different reasons to join the march and protests somehow all came together in a way that had never happened before, and will never happen again…. Labor, several different environmental groups, doctors, lawyers, lesbians, indy media from around the world…they all had something to say, or an issue with the WTO and where they started out separately that day, they all ended up together (cuffed in a Metro Bus - lol…)

That diversity was never even hinted at in the flick and that killed it for me…as did the cheesy police uniforms with the paper “Police” emblem taped to the jackets…and the Vancouver B.C. scenery…and the piss-poor portrayal of the police and the mayor…

It was just plain bad!

Posted by Ben"Jammin" | May 23, 2008 3:00 AM

i fucking love michelle. since i was little little and tried to get my gf at the time to acknowledge she was a gay after seeing girlfight. i don't care how crazy the mags make her out to be. would get down in a hot minute.

Posted by kate | May 23, 2008 3:50 AM

Ditto to what @14 said-- It was such a moving event, there's no way a bunch of Hollywood schmucks could make it "real".

Posted by SDizzle | May 23, 2008 8:04 AM

Michelle Rodriguez's enthusiasm for the movie can surmised from the effort she put into her outfit.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | May 23, 2008 8:46 AM

I didn't know people actually cared about celebrities anymore.

Posted by better things 2 do | May 23, 2008 9:11 AM

Michelle was a goof ball in the Q&A with indecipherable comments punctuated by a weird laugh. But could anyone have been LESS interested in the whole thing than Charlize? Whose only comment in the Q&A - re why she decided to be in the film - was that she slept with Townsend? Well, DUH - on both counts. And then told fans to quit taking pictures of her in the VIP area of the tent. Please.

Posted by watcher | May 23, 2008 9:18 AM

Lindy says that celebs are boring and then goes on to contradict that point by showing keen interest in celebs and snapping pictures.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | May 23, 2008 9:55 AM

They gave Locke an accent? That's appalling. Did Andre Benjamin eat some watermelon?

Posted by Fnarf | May 23, 2008 9:57 AM

What was up with NO FREE DRINKS at the party? There's always free booze! It justifies the cost of the ticket! SIFF has clearly jumped the shark...

The movie wasn't that bad. No, it wasn't that great, but it wasn't that bad. Esp in comparison to other SIFF opening nights.

Posted by LindyBop | May 23, 2008 10:03 AM

i think people on slog are afraid of not bashing anything.

Posted by hahnsolo | May 23, 2008 10:07 AM

It's true, they have had free drinkies at every Siff opening and gala and party I've attended. And last night's party was dull as a result. Once people figured out there were no free drinks they fled.

Posted by MarkoPolo | May 23, 2008 10:23 AM

$200 and no free drinks?! Suckers. Attendees got what they deserved. But, I went and saw Indiana Jones 4 last night and probably didn't get off any better (although I saved $190 bucks)

Posted by Clint | May 23, 2008 10:28 AM

If you paid $200 you did get free drinks, and more stuff. The regular ticket goers ($50), who always got free drinks before, did not get freebees. And "regular" VIPs who hadn't paid for the upgrade only got 2 free drinks.

Posted by Mitzy | May 23, 2008 10:47 AM

If I'd actually paid for my ticket (part of a company sponsorship package), I'd have been even more pissed off at the no free drinks. Spending $50 on that movie and then having to pay over the odds for drinks? Lame.

And @21, he didn't eat watermelon, but his reason for wanting to save sea turtles was a folk tale about turtles his grandfather told him.

Posted by Abby | May 23, 2008 11:17 AM

Ironic... Power to the people down with capitalism protest movie followed by parties segregated by ticket price.

Typical Seattle.

And yeah, the movie and the parties pretty much sucked. (But everyone got Fennel Salt!)

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | May 23, 2008 11:20 AM

@21 & @27

And he showed up dressed like a share cropper just our of the field...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | May 23, 2008 11:23 AM

Plus, he referred to himself in the third person all the damn time and he kept trying to get white people to lighten up.

Posted by Abby | May 23, 2008 11:35 AM

My perception from both the film, the Q&A, and meeting the actors and director afterwards in the VIP tent was as follows:

1) any scene (other than when she got beat up) involving Charlize Theron suffered from casting couch syndrome - she, quite frankly, sucked big time - sleeping with the director shouldn't mean you phone it in.

2) having lived in both cities and been on both sides of the riots (and other ones), it was pretty obvious which parts were Vancouver, but I thought most people who haven't lived in both cities wouldn't be able to tell.

3) Michelle Rodriguez is very popular with audiences and Charlize less so - probably because Michelle can act.

4) Michelle R is thinner than you think and way petite - Charlize is even thinner (FEED ME) and you wonder if a strong wind will blow her away.

5) The men did pretty good jobs, and had moments when they shone - the rapper was the best of them all, he made it work as a movie.

6) While they changed things, it was about as close as any film every gets to reality, even if people were way better looking and way better dressed - did they go to Gap 4 Protestors?

Overall, good film, good music score, Charlize sucked, Woody H started slow but got better, rapper guy totally stole the show, but WATCH THIS MOVIE!

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 23, 2008 11:38 AM

@11 and @15 are right. The questions at the Q&A were the lamest I've ever heard, and the answers basically sucked wind. In person, Andre Benjamin was the best cast member, very friendly and outgoing, whereas Charlize ... well, let's just say take witch and replace the w with a b ... actually the $200 level you got quite a bit more, but Platinum Pass you got 2 free drinks and 2 VIP entrances and way way way better food (but not the cool soup).

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 23, 2008 11:46 AM

re: John Curley

have you read his bio?
what's going on?

Posted by anon | May 23, 2008 11:46 AM

Holy a$$crackers! No open bar at the gala? Bad call, SIFF. Bad call. In general, I've noticed the galas going downhill over the last few years. The Donnie Darko gala was amazing, with booze flowing freely, moviestars mingling about the crowd and I guess even Gary Jules showed up to sing later on. Holy crap I got lit. Good times. Too bad things have changed. Did Pyramid and Bombay Sapphire pull their sponsorship, or just "scale back"?

Posted by rbnorton | May 23, 2008 12:57 PM

@34 Yes, the Donnie Darko gala was truly primo. A night to go down in history... I remember looking in the VIP room and it was empty because all the VIPs were out w/everybody else. Bombay was still on sale last night ($7). Previously, you just tipped the bartenders nicely and they gave a strong pour. Agree about decline in the galas as well.

Posted by LinnCap | May 23, 2008 2:04 PM

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