SIFF SIFF Opening Night Live Slog!
posted by May 22 at 18:40 PMon
Well, I did not particularly enjoy watching The Battle in Seattle. Maybe it was the vague sea turtle politics, or Movie Gary Locke’s craaaazy accent (because all Asians have English as their second language?), or every word anyone spoke at any point when there was a lull in the explosions: “I don’t want the cover of some brochure magazine to be the closest we ever come to adventure.” “You want adventure? You just signed up for the greatest adventure of all!”
There are about a million Stranger writers here, so I’m sure they’ll have more to say about the movie tomorrow. For now, here’s Angela Garbes on Charlize Theron: “She didn’t get to do much in this movie but lay in the fetal position and cry.”
After the movie, during the Q&A, Stuart Townsend announced “We’re as indie as it gets.” Really? As indie as it gets?
It is after 10pm and the fried snacks in the VIP tent are now cold. I’m skipping the press conference, but if it’s anything like the post-show Q&A it should yield many variations on the phrase, “I read the script and it was just so powerful, you know?” Now I’m going to go back and get some cake.
And finally, I give you Charlize Theron’s legs, Michelle Rodriguez’s posture, and Andre Benjamin’s adorable face:
You know what is fucking boring? Celebrities. Walking around. Celebrities walking around talking to John Curley about their characters from Battle in Seattle.
The first thing that happened to me when I got here was that I missed Andre 3000, the only celebrity I actually wanted to see/photograph. Luckily, the back of his outfit (which I witnessed while chasing him down a hallway, before being savagely denied entrance to the Very Important Tent) did not disappoint: mismatched double denim and a straw hat.
I don’t have much time, because I have to go, you know, watch that movie, but here are a few first impressions:
1. The Loneliest Curley
John Curley has stitches in his startlingly aged neck. Did someone knife our Curley?
2. Michelle Rodriguez is seriously wearing the worst outfit ever. I’ll leave the dressing while drunk jokes to y’alls peoples.
3. The Foot of Rodriguez
M-Rod says: “My character’s pretty complicated but, you know, she’s a cool chick.”
4. Were you wondering what Charlize Theron’s tiny nose looks like? You’re welcome!
5. According to my sources, Eddie Vedder and le Charlize just had a meet-cute on the red carpet. I would have photographed it but I was in here. Blogging. For you.
More to come after the movie!