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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

“See women as trouble.”

posted by on May 21 at 13:01 PM

L.A. Magazine has a feature by a former Jack Sparrow impersonator who worked at Disneyland. There’s not a lot here that’s surprising, but it’s entertaining enough. Women hit on Jack Sparrow and Tarzan—a buff guy wearing nothing but a loincloth—pretty continuously.

When I worked as a mall Easter Bunny many, many years ago, mothers would always be rubbing my crotch. I’m not sure why that is, but it was, for the most part, an acceptable extra bit of discomfort in a horrible, horrible job. But somebody who resembles Johnny Depp, rather unsurprisingly, gets a lot more than a little bunny rub:

Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: “I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.”

Eventually, Jack gets fired for having a relationship with a mermaid. It’s all very risque.

RSS icon Comments

Posted by Christin | May 21, 2008 1:14 PM

Probably furry enthusiasts.

Posted by Gloria | May 21, 2008 1:20 PM

Oh shit! Hilarious.

Posted by fonky | May 21, 2008 1:30 PM

paul constant in a bunny suit? grrrrrrowr!!!!!

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 21, 2008 2:17 PM

I have never, ever felt the urge to grope someone in a bunny suit. Even if I'd known it was Paul under that fur I would not have groped him.

And the costumed people at the Disney Parks always creep me out slightly. Especially the Buzz Lightyear guy. Cause he GROPED ME. Oh, sure, he pretended it was because he couldn't see under his big bulky head piece, but my ass was nowhere near the pen he was supposedly reaching for.

Posted by PopTart | May 21, 2008 2:36 PM

I wonder what would happen if the guy showed up without the makeup and costume.

Posted by keshmeshi | May 21, 2008 3:06 PM

That story was heterosexist.

Where's the story about Tarzan and Jack Sparrow rogering each other in the men's locker room underneith the Teacups?

Posted by michael strangeways | May 21, 2008 3:49 PM

I got hit on by a rather attractive young woman (I think; I didn't have a lot of visibility at the time) while dressed in a fuzzy green Baby Cthulhu costume at a local SF con.

The costume really wasn't designed for that sort of thing, so I regretfully declined...

Posted by Breklor | May 21, 2008 4:04 PM

@8: that's what pocketknives are for.

Posted by Fnarf | May 21, 2008 5:14 PM

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