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Thanks for this completely incoherent post. Are you drunk on cock?

Posted by Ziggity | May 19, 2008 1:49 PM

Uh, close your bold tag. You've bolded the whole Slog.

Posted by Fnarf | May 19, 2008 1:57 PM

What a difference a state makes. My dad goes to "men's breakfasts" at their church in Maine. Last summer the menfolk all started complaining because there was a new pastor who made them pray and talk about the Bible and stuff during the pancakes.

They just wanted to talk about cars, the E Coli level in the lakes, their grandkids, etc., etc. But then someone had to bring up all that God stuff and ruin it...

In between my laughter, I suggested that they should go out to breakfast at the local diner instead.

Posted by Julie | May 19, 2008 2:02 PM

Are you the new Adrian Ryan or what. That sucked, learn to make sense kthx.

Posted by Non | May 19, 2008 2:07 PM

Wichita Falls, Texas? I have family from there. So many summers when I was little involved Wichita Falls. Tarantulas, ticks, tornados, wax melting off my dead uncle's face at his open casket funeral. Ah, definitely good times in Wichita Falls.

Posted by PopTart | May 19, 2008 2:17 PM

I'm the new Rip Taylor. It's hard to make sense when your mind is ravaged by confetti and cancer wigs.

Posted by Nick | May 19, 2008 2:20 PM


Death and Texas go so well together! My uncle was crushed by a cascade of giant telephone poles unloosed from their pile atop an 18 wheeler trailer bed.

And I am DYING to know who your family is! Small-Town Intrigue!

Posted by Nick | May 19, 2008 2:24 PM

You know what would make this post better? In the middle, put SCROTUM! in bold and all caps.

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 2:40 PM

Why are all these born again Christians so damn fat? Haven't they heard of dieting or the gym?

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 19, 2008 2:42 PM

"Hold Your Load Balls" -fer tha fellas. Good thinkin.

Posted by Ginger Balls | May 19, 2008 2:47 PM

nick nick nick! don't move to nyc! stay here and we'll dish about Seattle Opera and SJ!!!

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 19, 2008 3:21 PM

What does it say about me that I totally understood this post?

Also, does that pic remind any one of a hot bukakke scene?

Posted by Mike in MO | May 19, 2008 6:48 PM

non? dearling? have you just considered the fact that YOU'RE JUST TOO FUCKING SLOW TO KEEP UP? no? well. that's not so very surprising.

Posted by adrian | May 19, 2008 9:18 PM

Wow. This should be a regular feature on Slog.

Posted by Bob | May 19, 2008 9:50 PM

Love it.

Horrors. From Texas, too.

Posted by Miss Poppy | May 20, 2008 8:36 AM

HA! I SO relate to your post. OMG! Like I was your long lost gay twin cousin or some damn thing. I grew up Nazarene in Wichita Falls. The only balls I ever remember getting had absolutely nothing to do with purity. And yeah, what a total surprise to find out about the glory hole thing. Jeebus...

Thanks for giving me a great laugh this morning!


Posted by JB in Silver Lake | May 20, 2008 10:10 AM

Good post, Nick. We had Promise Keepers where I was growing up, or, as my feminist theology professor liked to call them...the kindler, gentler patriarchy.

Posted by Zach | May 20, 2008 10:25 AM

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