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Monday, May 19, 2008

Purity Balls Are So 2002

posted by on May 19 at 10:27 AM


Clearly “purity balls”—those creepy father/daughter dances at which Christian dads pledge to “cover” their daughters “in the area of purity”—are on their way out. I mean, if the organizers of a purity ball could only attract a scant 63 dads interested in covering their daughters’ purity areas in Colorado Springs, Colorado, then this movement doesn’t have (tightly closed) legs. You could probably attract that many men or more to a fetish ball in Colorado Springs.

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A burning cross? Hitler would approve, he really would.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 19, 2008 10:36 AM

Are you kiding?

Purity Ball?

This is the kind of thing that fetishizes virginity. I would prefer someone with experience, thx.

Posted by Clearlyhere | May 19, 2008 10:37 AM

Not a moment too soon. This has to be the creepiest manifestation of all that repression, other than the dads actually fucking the daughters.

Posted by Mike in MO | May 19, 2008 10:40 AM

evengelicals tend to belittle liturgy, and the liturgical churces, but yet they come up with these bizarre rituals that are just a far creepier version of a liturgy anyway.

how much longer before these dads feel they need to veil their daughters?

Posted by Jiberish | May 19, 2008 10:43 AM

My guess is you could attract the same 63 men to a fetish ball.

Posted by DJSauvage | May 19, 2008 10:44 AM

A purity ball *is* a fetish ball. For pervy dads and their little girls.


Posted by Providence | May 19, 2008 10:57 AM

while this is creepy and all, your incessant posts ridiculing people of faith have really started to bore me.
you are perpetuating the same bigotry you so blatantly despise.

Posted by Grow up | May 19, 2008 11:05 AM

OMFG! Those creepy debs are gonna cruxify a hippie!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | May 19, 2008 11:09 AM


And fairly egotistical on the part of the fathers.

Posted by trish | May 19, 2008 11:39 AM

Purity Balls = great drag name

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 19, 2008 11:48 AM

This kind of shit is what sets women up for a lifetime of sexual dysfunction. Most of these girls will eventually have premarital sex, of course -- but they'll be so neurotic about it that their relationships will be doomed.

Posted by Cat in Chicago | May 19, 2008 11:51 AM

I'd like to show those girls MY purity balls...

Posted by Mark | May 19, 2008 12:03 PM

Wow, thats super creepy. Those girls are going to have ISSUES when they get older.

BTW Cato- I thought the cross was burning too, but with a closer look I saw it was just blurred back lighting.

Posted by Wes | May 19, 2008 12:08 PM

...and then a bunch of these girls will get pregnant during high school, and their fundie parents will screech for more inane programs like this, because purity balls and retardedly-ineffective abstinence education wasn't enough, and the cycle will begin again.

Posted by Hernandez | May 19, 2008 12:14 PM

Well isn't this lovely.

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 12:22 PM

@13, I noticed that after posting BUT you know burning crosses, fundie Christians, Nazi's: well it just all goes together! They just are missing the cardboard cut out of George W Bush that they would be praying to.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 19, 2008 12:25 PM

Why not a mother/son purity ball?

Posted by Lloyd Cooney | May 19, 2008 12:28 PM

I honestly thought that "struggling to cut their chicken" was a euphemism for something else.

Posted by st. alphonsus | May 19, 2008 12:29 PM

This kind of shit is what sets women up for a lifetime of sexual dysfunction

Uh, that is kind of the point to EVERYTHING!

Posted by Mike in MO | May 19, 2008 12:44 PM

17 has a point. Why is it so important that the girls remain virgins and not the boys? Who are they supposed to end up sleeping with? Their fathers?

Also, @7 only the ridiculous can be ridiculed.

Posted by Fly-Over Illinois | May 19, 2008 12:46 PM

Ugh... this article was full of creepy religious, sexist bullshit (I loved the line about "if we don't get it from home, we'll have to go out and get it from the world" -- she isn't talking about sex, but, you know, it's funnier if you think she is).

But... for some damn reason at the end of the article, the focus on the dads trying to be better dads and the mention of the dad with terminal cancer taking his two daughters was slightly touching to me. They just want to be good dads, and it's freakin' terrible that this is how their crazy fundie religion tells them to do it.

Posted by Julie | May 19, 2008 1:14 PM

@20, from the article, "Premarital sex is seen as inevitably destructive, especially to girls, who they say suffer more because they are more emotional than boys."

Right, girls are more emotional than boys, good luck with that then.

Posted by Brian | May 19, 2008 1:16 PM

@18 i think we should make 'cutting the chicken' a euphemism for something.

Posted by Jiberish | May 19, 2008 1:23 PM

Right @7, because Fundies doing "creepy" shit like holding "purity balls" clearly doesn't do enough to perpetuate negative stereotypes.

And people who are REALLY bored with something generally don't waste time or effort on commenting about their boredom.

Posted by COMTE | May 19, 2008 1:24 PM


The boys have integrity balls, where they're admonished not to ruin other men's property (oops, I meant daughters) before the ritualistic handing over of that property (oops, I meant wedding).

Posted by keshmeshi | May 19, 2008 1:56 PM

@7 ... sorry to say this but The Stranger is a place for people who have fallen out of religion (been kicked out usually)to come to commiserate and vent. You may call it anti-religious bigotry which really isn't fair. We are only products of our experience, and our experiences with "traditional" religion have been EXTREMELY shitty. And it's really shitty that people like you come tp invalidate our heart break, rejection, inevitable acceptance, and finally the celebration of our liberation from these repressed people, who drag us back to the stone age and poison the planet with their social mores and lifestyles.

Personally, I would rather believe God didn't exist than to hate him.

Posted by OR Matt | May 19, 2008 2:33 PM

@25: It's not just ritual. The man and his new property sign the deed together.

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 2:34 PM
28 responses to number 12 making pervy comments about adolescent girls? Hypocrisy much? Jesus.

Posted by Laurelgardner | May 19, 2008 2:52 PM

#26 I agree with most of what you're saying, but there are concepts of God and spirituality (loads of them) out there which have nothing to do with Christianity. Or which are Christian but don't have the bigotry (my home state ordained the first ever lesbian to be a Lutheran minister).

For those of us practicing in one of these traditions, Evangelical Atheists are just as alienating and offensive as the fundies, and I wish they'd realize that and decide if that's really what they want. I think it's silly for people who are opposed to the theocracy and oppression of the church - any church - to not be unified. Loving and supporting freedom means loving and supporting people's rights to do with their freedom what they wish - including things you yourself find stupid.

Posted by laurelgardner | May 19, 2008 3:05 PM

@28: Please consult the following educational link:

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 3:06 PM

@29 I see people like you trying to find some medium between the tradition and comfort of what you grew up with and the modern world. And that is fine ...

Some people find tremendous comfort in believing in a higher power, and that is fine ... it personally doesn't work for me.

And there are a number of people who do simpathize and support people who are trying to utilize the pleasentries, comforts, and communities of religion with resorting to the hatred. And that's fine. If religion is the opiate of the masses, opium still feels good.

Personally, I don't "hate" evangelicals, but I pity them. Maybe you want to help them, but perhaps I've resorted to a live and let die attitude, if they want to live in squalor and be uneducated that's great but I would rather it not effect my world. They have studies for this, religious people are generally happier (Remember ignorance is bliss) But loyalty and pride, and devotion to ones family and upbringing is a very strong force (They have a commandment for that, "Honor thy father and mother"). Because the irony is that deep inside they seem more lost when they are promised more and more universal truths.

I guess, I can summarize it best when I was at a funeral for a woman who committed suicide. The priest who spoke, gave the best, most honest, and heartfelt cermon I have heard. Basically that when he was a young man, he felt so confident in the world and that he had an answer to everything, but as he got older and older he found himself with more and more questions that didn't have answers. Maybe it's about time we started taking responcibility for own actions, our own happiness, and our own destiny and not rely on the god that made a bet with the devil to test a man's devotion to him. (Job?)

Posted by OR Matt | May 19, 2008 3:25 PM

I'm sorry, I'm a little all over the place .... but I need to get some work done too.

Posted by OR Matt | May 19, 2008 3:27 PM

What in the heck is that? That picture reminds of some sick terror movie where they make a virgin bath in blood and then sacrifice her!

It looks wicked not pure!

Posted by mj | May 19, 2008 4:04 PM

What is this corrosive hook-up culture and where can I get some?

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 4:44 PM

The fathers promise to "cover" their daughters?
"If we don't get it from home, we will go out to the culture and get it from them"?
The fathers are "stiff"?

Who writes this stuff?

Gee this is creepy. And I'm in favor of teenage girls remaining abstinent.

Posted by puzzlegal | May 19, 2008 4:45 PM

I have to thank commenter #10 for making me laugh all day long - purity balls = great drag name! Good one! LOL

Posted by dawicksta | May 19, 2008 4:46 PM

Evangelical atheists?!

Yes. We'll go meekly into the corner and not make a peep. You're in charge!

Posted by Schwettyballs | May 19, 2008 7:28 PM

Yes, #30. Jokes about lusting after adolescent girls is hi-freakin'-larious. Especially in the context of a society where girls are increasingly sexualized and sexually abused. Comedic gold right there, champ.

#37 - why is it so hard to grasp? Aggressively proselytizing ANY religious belief is an annoyance to those who don't share it. Alliances should be made based on the idea that all people be free to believe whatever the fuck they want, not on forcing any version of the "right" belief down people's throats.

Posted by laurelgardner | May 21, 2008 3:02 PM

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