2008 Paris Is Worth a Mass
posted by on May 28 at 10:06 AM
And the vice presidency, it appears, is worth a phony, staged, hetero “sex tape.”
Charlie Crist, the governor of Florida, is on John McCain’s shortlist of VP possibilities. But Crist’s got some baggage: he’s a social moderate (sorta), he’s single (very), and he’s the subject of gay rumors galore. And just in time for his big interview with McCain at one of Cindy’s ranches, a sex tape surfaces.
But don’t get too excited, Mr. Poe. There’s no full-frontal, no shots of Crist’s tanned ass grinding away at some hot babe. It’s just a security camera tape of Crist making out with his girlfriend/beard in an elevator.
Don’t fall for it, John. Making out with a girl? Eh, any gay man could do that. I’ve done that. Post-Hagee, you can’t risk further alienate the religious right by picking a ‘mo for a running mate. Unless Crist can produce a sex tape that shows him chewing through pussy like the Capitol Hill Coyote, you’ll have to go with someone else.
I have heard Crist is rather poorly endowed anyway.
"chewing through pussy like the Capitol Hill coyote" best sentence I've read in a long time. You, sir, are a bon mot master.
I confess my cluelessness--I don't get the subject line at all.
For starters, are we talking Hilton or France? Catholic ceremony, property of matter, or a large pile?
I think it would be awesome of McCain picks Crist as VP, and the the OTHER sex tape--you know, the one of him blowing a male hooker while wearing panties and doing crystal--surfaces, oh, about mid-October. That'd be fun!!
He is as nelly as a clutch purse on Tony night!
I would kill to be her.
Charlie Crist = total fag.
Also, I too enjoyed the line, "chewing through pussy like the Capitol Hill Coyote." Very descriptive. I wish I could write like that...
@3: it's a historical reference. Google might come in handy for figuring it out.
Both the historical reference and the new "Capitol Hill Coyote" turn of phrase that you've just established (I will do all I can to expand it popularization) are beautiful . . . another classic Savage moment!
I hope he does pick Crist (he won't), because Crist is wholly unacceptable to the kook evangelical right -- not because he's gay, they don't have a problem with that as long as you don't ACT on it, but because he's UNMARRIED and CHILDLESS. He's not a family-values guy, now matter how you slice him. Which increases the defections to a boob like Barr.
lostboy- the subject heading refers to the statement Henry IV of France made upon renouncing Protestantism in order to end the French Wars of Religion in 1593. Obscure, yes... but as a history major the subject heading made me happy.
Please stop calling me the Capitol Hill Coyote. It wasn't funny the first time.
It's a obvious plant. In the Republican world, nothing stinks like gay. So, let's make people think Crist's a player instead of a fag.
It's an obvious plant. In the Republican world, nothing stinks like gay. So, let's make people think Crist's a player instead of a fag.
Hey! Henri IV was a good guy! Don't compare him to Crist. "Henri quatre" didn't deny he was a Protestant, he stopped a war by becoming a Catholic, he promulgated the Edict of Nantes which gave protestants rights and he hoped there would "not be a peasant so poor in his kingdom that they would not have their Sunday boiled chicken" (poulet au pot..where we get the expression chicken in every pot). Henri doesn't much sound like his time's version of a republican.
(Also he's about the about the only king the French upon which the french look on with affection.)
Simple (or not) question: Does the "Capitol Hill" in "Capitol Hill Coyote" refer to Seattle's Queer/Bohemian/Gentrification mecca, or the nation's capitol?
Inquiring metaniks wanna know...
Jeff Stevens had a bowl of stupid for breakfast.
Cher,
You're wroooooong. Jeff Stevens probably merely had a bowl of Nub Cereal for breakfast. So can you answer his question straight up, or are you too Capitol Hill Hipster cool for your own good (or ours, for that matter)?
ChEBA @18,
You're wrong, and Cher, as always, is right. To atone for my stupid breakfast, I went straight to Snopes to check into this whole Capitol Hill Coyote thing. Here's what I found out.
I'm sooooooo sorry. Next time I'll do like Cher and eat David Letterman for breakfast instead.
After lostboy floated the idea I decided to use MSN search on the phrase "Capitol Hill Coyote" to see what turned up and there are articles about it sure, but the best thing ever is that in MSN's "Related searches" list is "Larry Craig." Laughing my ass off right now.
@16: Not so simple. Seattle's Capitol Hill is entering it's post-gay phase. Look forward to a day when Seattle gays are dispersed throughout the city. Urban concentrations of homos will be a thing of the past. Will the last one to leave the Eagle please turn out the lights?
Tab,
So when is Washington, D.C.'s Capitol Hill gonna enter "it's" post-closeted-gay phase?
Hey, is that Natalie Merchant in that Snopes photo? If so, what ever is she hiding behind that suspiciously large "pussy" cat?
McLame will pick Huckleberry. Jeepers Crist should run with Creepy McGreevy.
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