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Friday, May 2, 2008

News from the Animal Kingdom

posted by on May 2 at 9:57 AM

_44620484_seal_debruyn_466.jpg Yes, it is what you think it is: a seal fucking a penguin.

[The] bizarre event took place on a beach on Marion Island, a sub-Antarctic island that is home to both fur seals and king penguins.

At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin
Nico de Bruyn, University of Pretoria

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual.

“At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin,” says Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa…

The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.

The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

Animals! Animals! Animals!

RSS icon Comments


And this is why I support the clubbing of baby seals.

Posted by Rotten666 | May 2, 2008 9:56 AM

I'd hit that.

Posted by heywhatsit | May 2, 2008 9:57 AM

Aww, I SlogTipped that just now. Too slow I guess.

Posted by Carollani | May 2, 2008 9:59 AM
4 I gotta go find some penguin porn to take care of this woody...

Posted by freshnycman | May 2, 2008 10:04 AM

Ah, the things scientists will get research papers out of. Has anyone seen this one? Another classic.

Posted by tsm | May 2, 2008 10:05 AM

New desktop theme!

Posted by JoshWatermanMN | May 2, 2008 10:07 AM


What's really disturbing is that "penguin porn" probably does exist.

Posted by COMTE | May 2, 2008 10:15 AM

If we had the Republican rules the penguin would have fucked the seal.

Posted by elenchos | May 2, 2008 10:25 AM

Worst part is this, "trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.".

So frustrating. You finally get that cute lil' penguin to lie still, and you can't get it in. Stupid whiskey dick.

Posted by Graham | May 2, 2008 10:30 AM

This is the best thing I've heard today. I'll be really impressed if something tops it.

The "unsuccessfully" is nice because now we know the penguin wasn't actually raped, so it's okay to laugh at it.

Posted by Aislinn | May 2, 2008 10:37 AM

Two thoughts...

1. 45 minutes? The poor penguin must have been wondering why those "scientists" didn't help

2. there's the plot of Happy Feet 2/Surf's Up 2

Posted by Peter F | May 2, 2008 10:38 AM

@5 thanks for the link- now my penguin porn woody has gone down- ugh!
@11 #2 wins!

Posted by freshnycman | May 2, 2008 10:48 AM

"it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal."

This is why the seal community needs comprehensive sex education. Young seals who only hear the abstinence message end up fucking penguins.

Posted by Hernandez | May 2, 2008 10:51 AM

@9 It's very difficult to find the penguin hole.

Posted by Cat in Chicago | May 2, 2008 10:51 AM

Sorry, I can't stop laughing. This is the best part of the article: "After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report." Hahahahahahahahaha. Figures.

Also, on tsm's duck article: 75 MINUTES!? "Attempted Rape Flight" would make a good name for a band, though.

Posted by Aislinn | May 2, 2008 10:58 AM

Hey! Who amongst us hasn't been horney enough to fuck a penguin??????

Posted by KeeKee | May 2, 2008 11:02 AM

Times like this, I bet that penguin was wishing its fucking wings actually worked.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | May 2, 2008 11:05 AM

Here's the latest update from the University of Pretoria:

"After veterinarian psychological tests were completed, we concluded that the seal, hallucinating due to unusual sub-Antarctic weather patterns, mistook itself for Stranger Associate Editor Charles Mudede, and subsequently mistook the penguin for former 10,000 Maniacs vocalist Natalie Merchant."

Another bizarre consequence of global warming...

Posted by Jethro Bodine | May 2, 2008 11:26 AM

Stupid sexy pinguin!

Posted by Sirkowski | May 2, 2008 11:50 AM

"Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear."

The scientific observer in this case obviously just never met the right penguin.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | May 2, 2008 12:05 PM

One of the funniest things I have witnessed with my own two eyes was on a farm I was staying at in Costa Rica. A capuchin monkey came into the farmyard, started chasing a rooster around, grabbed it by the neck with its (prehensile) tail, and started banging away.

I had a (very blurry) picture entitled "Monkey Fucking Rooster" on my fridge for a year or so.

Ah, inter-species romance.

Posted by Julie | May 2, 2008 12:05 PM

@19: The penguin was definitely asking for it.

Posted by saysdivision | May 2, 2008 1:16 PM

What a coincidence! My car blew a seal just the other day.

Posted by Lazy Murrow | May 2, 2008 2:41 PM

If you lay your massive weight on her, and have sex with her, you are a rapist.

If she flaps her flippers desperately, and you have sex with her, you are a rapist.

If you are a walrus, and she is a penguin, you are a disturbed individual, or a furry. (ahem.)

Posted by K | May 2, 2008 4:13 PM

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