My mom died shortly after her 50th birthday over a decade ago. Mother's Day still makes me sad.

I probably shouldn't get started but I've never liked Mother's Day or Father's Day, or any holiday that isn't tied to a particular event or tradition but a more abstract celebration of the family.

I hardly speak for anybody else, but my *friends* are my family today, not my actual family. Why wasn't there a Friends' Day? or a Son's Day or Daughter's Day?

</Andy Rooney>

I'm at a loss. Is this person Arabic? Surely they would know the takbir is "Allahu Akbar" and not "Allah Akbar" as is so frequently bastardized in America. Similarily, it's "As-Salamu Alaykum" if this person considers Dan a group of people or a particularly important figure, otherwise it should be "As-Salamu Alayka".

The 'almighty god' stuff is right on the money, though.

I just wish I could give you a hug, Dan. So, here's a virtual hug...

I'm warning you, this days sucks from now on. :p

@3 It's actually customary to use the third person plural in the greeting, even when greeting a single person.

And Dan, apparently, loving your mother is just another thing the GOP disagrees with you about.

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or tears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have taught them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated earth, a voice goes up with our own. It says, "Disarm, Disarm!"

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail & commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesars but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

- Julia Ward Howe, Mother's Day Proclamation, 1870.

:sniff:

I feel like I'm gonna crumple up and die when I just THINK about losing my mom. For those of you who have, I'm so sorry.

One of my best friends lost her mother early this morning after a long struggle with Parkinsons. She was there at her side when she took her last breath around 3:00 a.m.

I'm sure she knows how Mr. Bryant felt.

I'll be calling my own mother shortly.

What beautiful handwriting.

what IS dan savage's religion and how can i disagree with it?

If I'm not mistaken the text at the top of the letter looks like it reads, As Assin. Do other Arabic readers see that too? Dan, do you get threats so sweetly wrapped often?

Today is my mom's last mother's day. Fuck cancer.

lol@11 I was thinking that myself.

My mom drives me nuts, but I, too, crawl into a little ball and weep at the thought of her passing. I know some day I'll miss her clenching the side of the car when I drive or doing her "mom scream" whenever something is the slightest bit startling.

Well, maybe not the mom scream... does anyone else's mom do that god damn mom scream?

Today is my mom's last mother's day. Fuck cancer.

My sincere condolences to Dan, Michigan Matt, and anyone else out there who has lost their mom. My mother will turn 75 next Sunday and she is not in the best of health. My brother and sister and I are mentally preparing ourselves for the inevitable. In the meantime the best thing to do when facing the impending loss of a loved one is to enjoy the time available as best as you can.

It has been 13 years since my mother died, and every Mother's Day since has been hard,even more so since in my family Mother's Day was a major deal. My dad's birthday was May 5 and mine is May 13. Mother's Day was just the perfect day to celebrate.

Damn, now I'm crying.

My Mom passed away over 10 years ago when I was just 15 years old...I wish I could call her today, but I don't think she has a phone up there..besides, the long distance charges would be too high, and she would not be happy with me for that,I can hear her giving me hell now.lol
I feel what your saying, Dan, big hugs for you on this day.

My momma beat me. She killed my dog. She made me homeless when I was ill. Happy mothers day.

Bless you Dan, I know the feeling. Mine passed away in 2001 and I keep getting these damn email adds from all the places I used to buy my mom gifts from on Mother's Day and I just hate it.

Know you were loved. That is what every child needs, and which some of us were lucky to get...

My mom's impossible to shop for as I come from the most non-materialistic parents in the world. but I got her and dad NYC sweatshirts. Being from Buffao, sweatshirts are always in style and I just couldn't take seeing them in my alma mater paraphenalia 10+ years after the fact

happy mothers day to all the moms, and for those without, my condolences

Reading these posts I just want to offer my condolences to all of you grieving for your mothers. And my heart goes out to those of you who didn't have good mothers, I'm so sorry for your pain.

I'm not the best mother in the world, I'm not the worst mother in the world, but my son thinks "my mom is special because she is mine." And I'm eternally grateful that I get to be his mom.

Dammit, I've been trying to avoid that Friedman piece all day, but you've made me go and read it. And cry. This is my second Mother's Day without anyone to call or to send a card or gift to, and, while I hadn't been feeling all that sucky in general, the hole has been noticeably present.

Hearing that someone has lost their mother--as with your column Dan--still takes my breath away. My mom lived for 18 months after a horrific stroke that took virtually all of her movement, much of her vision, and certainly every shred of her independence, but left "her" largely intact. (When I told her Catholic self who the new pope was, her raspy comment from the nursing home bed was "Well, at least he won't live long.") While I would never wish her condition on anyone, she had incredible grace and dignity throughout, and I look back on it as treasured time, when her son, and only kid, was able to help return some of the wonderful things she gave. Part of me wishes for more; most of me is glad that she went when she was ready.

My own religious views are a tad on the skeptical side these days, but I do harbor secret and delightful thoughts of seeing Mom and others again! Sorry to blather on, but I'm viewing this as a public Mother's Day shout out to Mom. I love you.

You're all lucky to have good moms. My mom is always mad at me. It's never enough for her. I question why she bothered to have children if we were just going to be a big disappointment to her. All of us kids graduated college, never were arrested, all the shiny shit. She's just a pissed off woman. Anyway, double hug your moms today in thanks that she's not like mine.

This designated day on the calendar can change in meaning, as the cycle of life turns. For 20-odd years, Mother's Day was a sad and cold one for me, as I lost my mom very suddenly in 1982, when I was 15.
Today, I've had a joyous day with my son, my first Mother's day as a mom. I hope each future Mother's Day will be as sweet.

Dan, my condolences to you.

Well Dan you did it!! You made me cry on mothers day! I was doing so well, avoiding the tears, till I read the slog and all the coments. I miss mom so much today! Every day for that fact. It sucks, really sucks, and I can't wait to get out of this town that reminds me so much of her everywhere I go. I just want to run away screaming and not look back. But I can't because the pain will be with me were ever I go.

So I celebrate being a mother and give Cody more hugs then normal and now that is what mom would have wanted. For me to celebrate being a mother, I just hope I can give Cody as much love as she gave us. Love you and miss you and wish I was there to give you a hug!

Who knew that one single, arbitrary day could cause so much trauma? Everybody who hurts (or has even suffered the slightest hurt at the hands of a "mother") should petition the Federal Government to remove this hurtful, pain-causing, trauma-inducing holiday. Oh, and please ban the color orange, too, because a friend from grade school offed himself while wearing an orange shirt. Wah, wah, wah!!

Or, just ignore it, the way that Native Americans ignore Thanksgiving, that non-Christians ignore Xmas, etc.

@12 I'm not a native reader, so my spelling isn't very good, but that is definitely a "ba" at the end of the second word, not a "noon". the thing that looks like sideways "sin" must be some kind of crazy "kaf" or something. I dunno. Handwriting is always hard to read. Maybe I'll ask the husband.

For more than a few, yesterday was also a celebration of liberation from conditional love and painful abuse.

For some, the only thing shared with a mother is genetic material.

A large fallacy foisted upon us all is the hoary notion that 'blood is always thicker than water.'

Blessings to all for whom that is true.

My mother used to stand by while my step father beat the shit out of me while I was growing up and did not even tell him to stop. The best is when the school nurse would call on her and she would say I fell on my arm or face or back etc. Needless to say I have not spoken to her or him since 1995. Mother's day is just another day.