Of course, I also agree with @5.

Paul, judges liked your execution, as well as your posture. The score came out 7,7,7,7, and the Russians gave you a 5.

I'm gonna go chug some Prego. With meat in it.

Keep reading Paul- some of us like a man with some extra padding!

Kicker for me was that Paul drank all his beer and chugged the preggers.

And Kelly you're a great character actor

good stuff all around

Mind you, after I was over being drunk enough, I would probably leave and pretend it never happened ...

If The Stranger needs a new copy editor, they know where to go.

BTW, is that actually Clarkj Kentj, alter-ego of the true manliest man ever, namely, Supermanj?

A real real man would have been born with a beer bong for a skull.

1. Since no promised car repair occured, but merely (mostly incorrect) identification of car parts I score - 2 each

2. Even being very forgiving and qualifying "pounding a nail into a 2x4" as "carpentry" (What, no rabbiting? No mortise-and-tenon work? No framing or routing or joining? Bah!), both of you's swing those pathetic 12-oz hammers like little girls - 1 each.

3. Push-ups - ugh! 'nuff said - 1 each.

4. Now we're getting somewhere! +1 to Kelly for opening the jar, +4 to Paul for opening it faster, and chugging a healthy three or four ounces to boot.

5. This was obviously a rigged contest, as it is a scientific fact that NO HUMAN BEING has the uppper arm strength to actually open a package of Oberto Beef Jerkey - 1 for Kelly, 0 points for Paul, who appeared to have gobbled down more from his adulterated package.

6. Another toss-up since it's not at all clear either of them were in fact hustling women. Next time, make sure we see the objects of their objectification 0 score for both.

7. Arm-farts - 1 to Kelly who appeared to be attempting a breast-fart instead, and zero score for Paul who wasn't able to produce an audible sound.

8. Beer shotgunning - 2 to Kelly, who didn't even know which hole to try to drink from. 1 point awarded to Paul for persistence, and a nice Belushi-style forehead crush dismount.

Final Score:

Kelly O - 7 Paul C 1

Although overall both were pretty poor examples of masculinity, Paul still managed to uphold (nominally) his right to call himself "manly".

Next Week on "Man-Off": Brendan Kiley versus ECB. Featured events will include, "Smelling Thing From The Fridge Eating Constest", "Name That Muscle-Car", "Pull-Ups", "Chewing Tobacco Target Spitting", "Diagraming a 'Skinny Post Play Action Pass From The Shotgun'", and "The Keg Stand".

Paul may not have manish interests or act aggressively scratch & spit male, but still acts like a boy. Paul wins, to me. I have always prefered boys like Paul.

REMATCH!!!!