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Friday, May 23, 2008

John McCain’s Health Steady, Ass Freckled

posted by on May 23 at 12:15 PM

Whatever his thousand-word diatribe yesterday against Barack Obama might have suggested about the downward trajectory of his mind, Senator John McCain’s body appears to be about as healthy as one would expect of a 72-year old.

From the pool report’s summary of the medical records, via Mark Halperin of Time:

The records document the following major issues that he has faced over the last eight years:

cancer (melanomas on his left face, his left arm and his nose); dizziness that was diagnosed as vertigo; blood in the urine, which was diagnosed as caused by an enlarge prostate and bladder/kidney stones; high cholesterol, which appears to be successfully treated with medicine; some pain in his shoulder, hand and knee joints diagnosed as degenerative arthritis; evidence of polyps and diverticulosis in th colon, and some other minor medical ailments along the way.

This should also reassure Americans:

From Dr. Suzanne Connolly, his oncologist:

“Buttocks unremarkable except for some very light tan freckling.”

The gist of the initial assessment seems to be that McCain’s battle with melanoma has been a successful one since his diagnosis and subsequent surgery in 2000, and will not likely be an issue should he become president.

There are still a lot of questions left unanswered by all this: the records were a massive 1,200 pages, and the hand-selected batch of reporters were not allowed to photocopy any of the material for later analysis. A time limit was placed on press access to the documents, and the New York Times is reporting that certain news organizations were given preferential treatment in their time alloted to view the medical records.

Barack Obama’s records will be released “early next week.”

RSS icon Comments


I can't vote for unremarkable buttocks. It's just not what our country stands for.

Posted by Ziggity | May 23, 2008 12:26 PM

Oh great, now the oher candidates will feel preasure to reveal their ass freckle status.

Posted by Heather | May 23, 2008 12:30 PM

What the hell is "remarkable" about ass freckles? That doctor has no business writing that; it's not medical information. She's having a go at him.

Posted by Fnarf | May 23, 2008 12:41 PM

did the records reveal that he's 72?

i could give a crap that he's healthy. he's too fucking old for the job. if i had to hazard a guess, i'd say the life expectancy of a cancer survivor who'd been in a vietnamese POW camp for 7 years is not 90. more like 75.

its really time for a youth movement.

Posted by maxsolomon@home | May 23, 2008 12:45 PM

Any word on when we'll get a peek at Senator Clinton's mental health records? The level of denial is getting pathological.

Posted by Andy Niable | May 23, 2008 1:01 PM


If the freckling is caused by exposure to the sun, I'd call that quite remarkable indeed.

Posted by keshmeshi | May 23, 2008 1:05 PM

I cannot in good conscience support a freckled-assed candidate for President of the United States.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | May 23, 2008 3:06 PM

I wonder why he hasn't had the quick 5 minute test for Alzheimer's even though he's almost a decade past 65?

It's nowhere in his records.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 23, 2008 4:26 PM

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