The perfect thread for this awesome Ogden Nash poem!

'The Individualist'

Once there was a man named Jarvis Gravel who was just a man named Jarvis Gravel except for one thing:

He hated spring.

And this was because once a Communist had said Come
on down to Union Square, it's May Day,

And Jarvis went, thinking he had said Come on down
to Union Square, it's pay day.

So from then on anything at all vernal

Was to him strictly infernal.

When he saw the first crocus poke its head up

He'd get a shovel and dig the entire bed up,

And he bought a horse and galloped back and forth

Tipping off the worms when the first robin started North.

To love the way of a man with a maid in the moonlight
was something he never learnt,

And he spent a lot of beautiful balmy evenings moving
FRESH PAINT signs from park benches that were
freshly painted to ones that weren't,

And when he finally did marry a girl who made his pulses
quicken

It was merely because her name was Gail Winterbottom
and she was no spring chicken,

And one day during the worm-warning season he came
home hungry after a hard day in the stirrup,

And she served him waffles and he objected to the May-
pole syrup,

So she shot him through the heart, but his last words
were ecstatic.

He said Thank you honey, it was thoughtful of you to
use the autumnatic.

The Wicker Man! Maybe my all-time favorite movie! BTW, does anyone know where to get or how to make those lovely wheat dildoes (that's how I always think of them, anyway)? There's one near the schoolhouse doorway on the wall behind Diane Cilento.

Thanks for reminding me about the Maypole. The original Wickerman .... so good!!!!!!

Turn off the volume. He says, "they're in my ass, my ass!"

Maypoles in Woodland Park - 5 pm on - BYO munchies - near the horseshoes (right off Aurora on the road above the tennis courts).

info: www.fremontartscouncil.org

And on that bed there was a girl...And on that girl that was a man...And from that man there was a seed...

Yes! Just about my favorite horror film ever. So, so creepy. I'll be watching that tonight.

@6: Yeah, he sure did. It's perfectly normal in the context of the movie (though horrifying to Christian Copper Edward Woodward). Apparently you missed the end when Diane Cilento as the schoolteacher instructs her girls about phallic symbols--"...the penis, venerated in religions such as ours..."

You really should see the movie. The original, not the recent remake (ugh).

first of may! first of may! outdoor fucking starts today!