A “Promotional Talent and Marketing Agency specializing in ‘midgets’ and ‘dwarf’ talent” won’t tell me which Seattle bars will have six sombrero-wearing, tequila-dispensing such persons on premises tonight. It’s Cinco de Mayo—everyone knows that en espanol, that means “little people” (which I believe is the preferred nomenclature, though I’m not an expert as, say, someone at a talent agency specializing in such might be). Little people in traditional Mexican headdress. Si.

This Promotional Liquor Branding Event involves teams of little people “bar-hopping” in multiple cities tonight “for a 4 (four) hour ‘shift’ meeting & greeting, mix and mingling, handing out liquor premiums & souvenirs, taking photos with customers and patrons,” according to an April 18 job posting on Craigslist titled “Midget” “Dwarf” Talent Needed:

You are “TALENT” to us and we will pay you as such….

The dwarfs will work as the client’s “character” as a dwarf in a sombrero and poncho provided by our client promoting Mexican liquor while bar hopping with a group of team captains from the client’s liquor company….

Our client will provide ALL costumes.

I emailed the company and inquired: Have you found your 6 Seattle Brand Ambassadors? What bars will be involved? What time will the Event begin? Might I tag along and write about it? Steven, an unspecified employee of the “Promotional Talent and Marketing Agency” (apparently called “shortfaces,” according to Steven’s email), replied: “In the interest of my client, I am going to need to pass on this opportunity.”

I don’t understand why Steven/shortfaces would pass. Surely the Bud girls never say ‘no.’

(Photo via “Chillywillyrace fan” on Creative Commons.)

Tiki Bob’s in Pioneer Square seems like the most likely venue for encountering such a Promotional Liquor Branding Event and its personnel. Or maybe Cowgirls Inc. Definitely Pioneer Square.