Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Book Club of the Damned: I Wil... | Now You Can Pick The Vice Pres... »

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I Vote Master Chief for the Team’s Mascot

posted by on May 28 at 13:33 PM

Today in completely unsurprising news:

The new Major League Soccer team in Seattle has found a naming sponsor: Microsoft.

The team announced Wednesday that the Seattle Sounders FC will be sponsored by Microsoft and Xbox Live 360. Microsoft will pay a reported $20 million over five years to be the Sounders’ sponsor.

The club’s official website has a pic of the lime green jersey.

RSS icon Comments

1

Fuckin' sweet. As if I already didn't want one.

Posted by Mike of Renton | May 28, 2008 1:45 PM
2

Master Chief for Mascot is the best idea I've ever heard.

Posted by Justin | May 28, 2008 1:46 PM
3

I. AM. SO. JEALOUS. A futbol team and a green jersey?

Fucking Paul Allen gets EVERYTHING.

Posted by Mike in MO | May 28, 2008 1:50 PM
4

At least we get a real company as a sponsor, as opposed to whatever the crap is on those LA jerseys.

Posted by Abby | May 28, 2008 1:51 PM
5

I'm picturing the players in weird electronic collars, while Allen, Gates, and Balmer are up in a skybox with control pads.

Posted by Dougsf | May 28, 2008 1:54 PM
6

I want Balmer for the mascot.

"C'MON! KICK IT! WOOOOOOO! YEAH! DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE I... LOVE... THIS... TEEEAAAM!" (monkey dance)

Either that or the Blue Screen of Death.

Posted by JC | May 28, 2008 2:08 PM
7

A Microsoft endorsement is huge, actually. This is especially true when you consider the hostility America has towards professional soccer.

Posted by Justin | May 28, 2008 2:10 PM
8

Have a giant Xbox ad on the jersey makes me want to watch games less, not more.

Posted by joykiller | May 28, 2008 2:14 PM
9

@8 is right.

If they go with the xBox logo we'll call them Green River Killers ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 28, 2008 2:17 PM
10

Microsoft sucks. The green jerseys suck. I was actually looking forward to having the Sounders in town but they've just ensured i won't spend a penny on tickets or merchandise. Fuck Microsoft.

Posted by tosca | May 28, 2008 2:19 PM
11

@5:

So, are you saying we should now refer to multiple billions of dollars as "Quatloos"?

And Master Chief, sure, whatever. Just so long as they don't trot out "Bob" or that stupid paper-clip helper thing...

Posted by COMTE | May 28, 2008 2:19 PM
12

Oh, boy, we dodged a bullet there. Having Microsoft is GREAT news. Don't think so? Look at some of the other fucking sponsors around the globe. At least it's not a cheeseball internet gambling site.

Posted by Fnarf | May 28, 2008 2:21 PM
13

I love how soccer has fully embraced the sponsorship thing. It won't be long before they sell the rights to not only name the stadiums and put logos on jerseys, but name the teams themselves. It's really close in soccer, with the tiny team logo and huge sponsor logo. I guarantee my kids will be going to games like the Seattle XBoxes vs. the Cincinnati Googles.

I mean, it's so obvious!
The Portland Chevy Blazers
The Denver Ford Broncos
The Tampa Bay Pepperidge Farms

Posted by Anthony Hecht | May 28, 2008 2:22 PM
14

9. We will?

Posted by Pooch Bolton | May 28, 2008 2:23 PM
15

@12 No kidding, I was worried it was gonna be a bank or something.

@13 Oooh, or the New York Red Bulls.

Posted by Mike of Renton | May 28, 2008 2:33 PM
16

for some reason when i read master chief, i think master shake, who would be a far superior mascot.

Posted by konstantconsumer | May 28, 2008 2:40 PM
17

@8

I'd prefer to have MS on my jersey than an insurance company.... have you seen the ManU jersey's?, big giant ad for AIG and a tiny little crest over the heart.

that said, all brit football jersey's that ive seen are horrid, why anyone would pay good money to advertise for a random company they dont give a damn about is beyond me.

Wurm

Posted by Wurm | May 28, 2008 2:40 PM
18

Is it even legal for there to be a soccer team? I heard all the fans are hooligans.

Posted by elenchos | May 28, 2008 2:40 PM
19

@15: or Red Bull Salzburg, which is worse, I think.

The shirt-sponsor thing is something I bring up to Europeans (usually Brits, since I'm only good at English) when they get upset about stadium names. Yes, all our stadiums are named, but all your teams have ads on the front of the damn jersey.

Posted by Abby | May 28, 2008 2:42 PM
20

Terrible uniforms. Why bother with them at all? Just call Golden Palace, ask them to sponsor the "new" team.

Posted by joykiller | May 28, 2008 2:43 PM
21

@13:

You mean like what they have been doing in Europe (and the rest of the world) for ages? Futbol has always had tons of sponsorship.

Posted by Original Monique | May 28, 2008 2:52 PM
22

@21, in America we call it "soccer." Gracias.

Posted by joykiller | May 28, 2008 2:58 PM
23

I was hoping they'd go retro and bring out the jerseys from their days in 70's playing in the NASL, back when we lost Soccer Bowl '77 to the New York Cosmos, starring Pele.

I don't like the jersey and probably won't add one to my collection.

Posted by elswinger | May 28, 2008 2:58 PM
24

@14 - yes, we will. Because you can't bleed on lime green jerseys ... everyone knows that.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 28, 2008 3:08 PM
25

You know who else has sponsor logos on their jerseys are arena football players. So the moral of the story is if you want a logo jersey, play a sport very few people care about.

Posted by Jason Josephes | May 28, 2008 3:11 PM
26

Mexican League teams have logos on the back, now too, and possibly the sleeves as well.

It's just a thing that soccer does. It doesn't matter. As long as it's not embarrassing. Xbox isn't embarrassing.

Red Star Salzburg is SERIOUSLY embarrassing. They changed the name of the TEAM.

But then, Japanese League baseball teams are named after their sponsoring companies -- for the longest time I thought that "Nippon Ham Fighters" were Ham Fighters from Nippon, which is cool, because they fight with or for ham, but they're actually the Fighters from Nippon Ham. Boooo-ring.

Posted by Fnarf | May 28, 2008 4:06 PM
27

The blue on the sides of the shirt are potentially very slimming.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | May 28, 2008 4:17 PM
28

This whole discussion illustrates one reason why soccer is unappealing from a spectator's perspective: no breaks. If I'm at a game, I only have one chance to get a beer or take a piss. If I leave during the action, I might miss the only goal of the whole freaking game. If I go during halftime, it's a fucking zoo.

This is why all other major American sports are preferable: plenty of breaks so fans aren't stuck, which ensures plenty of commercials on TV, which means players don't have ugly jerseys.

Posted by joykiller | May 28, 2008 5:23 PM
29

You'll hear the roar of the crowd during the goal and then you can rush the field with the rest of us and get in on the action.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 28, 2008 5:27 PM
30

@28: what spectators? You mean the millions upon millions of spectators that, you know, enjoy watching? That certainly outnumber the amount of spectators that watch American sports?

Besides, American sports are slow and go on forever. Why does an American football game, which should take an hour, go on for three or four? There's barely any action, too, there's so much standing around, stopping, and starting. Basketball's okay, but going to games is kind of boring, it's too forcedt- music piped over speakers, endless corps of dancers, shooting games...it's kind of lame.

Posted by Abby | May 28, 2008 6:48 PM
31

xbox 360 = xbox reach around edition.

Posted by xx | May 28, 2008 6:59 PM
32

Logically, 29, we will also rush the field.

Posted by Pooch Bolton | May 28, 2008 7:29 PM
33

Just remember, nobody lets the xBox sponsor people off the field until they've been tossed on top of the goal.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 28, 2008 11:57 PM
34

@30, millions of spectators with stronger bladders than I. Also, millions of spectators that live in other countries.

People who complain about how football (or baseball, for that matter) is "boring" or "slow" are really saying they don't understand the sport.

Posted by joykiller | May 29, 2008 8:40 AM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.