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You're a dick.

Posted by cankle-bludgeoner | May 24, 2008 10:25 PM

i had a friend sitting about 20 ft away. he said it sounded like firecrackers. soon after some guy yelled "someone just got shot and i'm on acid!"

Posted by Cale | May 24, 2008 10:36 PM

Shut up.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 24, 2008 11:01 PM

I love how people expect guns to sound like they do in the movies.

Posted by Andrew | May 24, 2008 11:03 PM

your balls scare me more than the thought of being shot at Folklife...

Posted by Stephanie | May 24, 2008 11:27 PM

Due to the circumstances, your post was unfunny and tasteless.

Posted by UnCommon Sense | May 24, 2008 11:27 PM

@6: Noted. If this incident had been anything like a Columbine or something else, I'd be very indebted to this person's warning. As it stands, it was pretty much a non-incident (except for, well, the two people who took a bullet), and I'm finding humor in it... I don't mean to demean anyone. I just think the line "PROTECT YOUR BABIES" is kinda completely hilarious.

Posted by Sam M. | May 24, 2008 11:38 PM

I don' knows anythin' 'bout protectin' no babies!

Posted by Hattie McDaniel | May 24, 2008 11:42 PM

Hahahaha -- people got shot. Non sequitors were uttered.


Capital Hill - we love it!

West Seattle - we love it!

Columbia City - we love it

I love Seattle!

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 24, 2008 11:50 PM

A**hole sizeist. Substitute another appearance trait like skin color for "fat" and see how funny you sound then. "When you see a black person run, you run." "A particularly dark-skinned woman ran past me." Etc. And changing your size permanently is about as easy as changing your skin color, so don't be telling me it's apples and oranges. With large Americans in the majority (regardless of whether you think that's something apocalyptically horrifying), I am mystified as to why anyone gets away with size bias. But I know your boss is also a size bigot so you all are likely high-fiving around the office as we speak.

Posted by gotohell | May 24, 2008 11:59 PM

nice one gotohell, cause you can totally go on a diet and lose your "black" one day. You win at apologies today

Posted by meanie | May 25, 2008 12:08 AM

fatties are treated worse than jews in concentration camps.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | May 25, 2008 12:12 AM

Thread dead after 2 hours and 21 minutes

Posted by Mike of Renton | May 25, 2008 12:21 AM

Well, I for one will start running if I see a fatty running by. It's just common sense.

Posted by smp | May 25, 2008 12:22 AM

Yup, that was basically an asshole comment. But let's be adults and really type out "asshole," ok?

Posted by leek | May 25, 2008 12:50 AM

If only the fatty had gotten shot in her cankles and died! There is truly no justice.

Posted by Size 0 | May 25, 2008 1:10 AM
Posted by stinkbug | May 25, 2008 1:53 AM

the most ordinary nut sack I have seen in 40 years of constant gay cruising - honey, nothing to brag about

very common nuts badly needing nut torture

stupid fuck head to boot (in the nuts)

Posted by John | May 25, 2008 2:46 AM

Did you really need to post an image of your nuts? There is so much wrong with your post, from the lack of fear of gunshots to the random idiocy of describing a piggy running past as your final realization that something may be wrong.
I never trust the fatties, most only run for a sale of donuts, so when I see a pig-person moving fast, I worry there could be more on the way.
But honestly, clicking on your link and seeing those nuts has made me ill. You lack of caring for the two people shot is expected from a Stranger "writer" but posting images of nuts? Priceless, classless and unimpressive.

Posted by Nuts2you | May 25, 2008 6:38 AM

Everyone please note: gunshots sound like a pop/firecracker/whip crack.... no loud "boom" and it's not followed by a loud "yee haw!"

People should know the sound- and how to disarm one. I love how Seattle is so ignorant that it took some woman screaming "save your babies" to get anyones attention. Also- if you hear a gunshot dont run away or hide behind a wall. Get down low on the ground or run towards the gunman weaving from side to side.

Simple things that can save your life and others.

Posted by catnextdoor | May 25, 2008 7:32 AM

I think Sam's post was perfect. It was honest and humorous at the same time. I just wonder if the fat woman had finished eating her elephant ear before she started running and warning folks in the crowd?

Posted by bored4life | May 25, 2008 7:45 AM

If there's something funnier than a fat woman yelling about protecting babies, it's people who use the word "sizeist"

Posted by The CHZA | May 25, 2008 8:05 AM

I wonder how which part of the Sound Sound the shooter and victims are from?

Posted by Tiktok | May 25, 2008 8:08 AM

I think it's a perfectly nice nutsac. I've certainly seen worse. Although the view the nutsac is blocking is probably more interesting than the nutsac itself. That's usually the case.

But I do have to wonder What The World Is Coming To. I honestly thought Folklife had been discontinued several years back, and then I hear about a shooting at it. What sort of dreadful person brings a gun to Folklife? Unless its changed drastically in the last few years, it doesn't seem to fit either the gun nut or gansta profile for quality entertainment.

And are the people who were shot OK? And what about the puppy?

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | May 25, 2008 8:27 AM

@7 - yes, the PROTECT YOUR BABIES was funny. The "bludgeoning those cankles" is where it crossed from amusing post to just being mean for no reason.

Posted by genevieve | May 25, 2008 10:37 AM

People sure are getting their granny panties in a wad. Fat people running is a totally accurate "canary in a coal mine."

Posted by No cankles here | May 25, 2008 10:45 AM

If The Stranger staff had any heart at all, they would be setting up a benefit to help the victims cover their medical expenses and their rent, since the woman shot in the leg won't be a work for while.

Do you get it yet?

Posted by I am your Mother | May 25, 2008 10:53 AM

I don't get it.

Okay, so fat people are funny or whatever - I worked on a video about people who had gotten gastric bypass surgery. It was frightening to hear how horribly these people were treated when they were still enormous. Honestly, it's just awful. And many of them had trouble when they got all thin and cute and everyone was all nice to 'em 'n shit.

Posted by some guy | May 25, 2008 11:09 AM

Thank god our police are worried about porn playing at the Eagle and R-Place and what is happening at Nemos! SPD have their priorities right on target!!!

Shooting at Folklife....people time to leave Seattle, we have hit the iceburg and are going down!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 25, 2008 11:19 AM

I'm looking forward to the mayor's new task force targeting nightclubs which cater to the folk and bluegrass crowds. Violence inside the venues is bad enough, but when it spills into public areas, something must be done. Clearly, these scenes are a scourge on our neighborhoods.

Posted by Mahtli69 | May 25, 2008 11:49 AM

as a fat person (in both the fat and phat spellings of the word), I deem this article hilarious.

Posted by classybot | May 25, 2008 2:02 PM

You're an ass
You freaked out after shit already went down
felt embarrassed about it
and made fun of someone else to feel better.


Posted by ass | May 25, 2008 4:08 PM

I laughed.

And I learned something too, about how to know when it's time to run.

Posted by elenchos | May 25, 2008 4:34 PM

i don't get it. where's the rest of bullwinkle's face?

Posted by ellarosa | May 25, 2008 8:12 PM

classybot @31: lets make bot childrenz with cankles to spare.

we both know the world needs more of them, to continue our canckled bot domination.

bot cankles are the new muffintop.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | May 25, 2008 8:28 PM

What are cankles?

Posted by Sondari | May 25, 2008 8:32 PM

36: that squidgy and sexxy body point where fleshy calf/ankle comingle in joyous disregard of convention and decorum. it's quite the turn on to some.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | May 25, 2008 8:46 PM

What I got out of this is one thing... fat people are much smarter than Sam Machkovech.

(BTW, you may not have cankles on your ankles but you've something that some dumbass could make fun of, if they bothered to take the itme to do so.)

Posted by Suz | May 25, 2008 8:55 PM

A security guard that works at the Pacific Science Center got word that it was a guy who brought the gun to pistol whip someone. It figures neither got hurt, but what if the gun had gone off and he got killed because of it? The guy is obviously not very bright.

Posted by DarwinAwardgoesto | May 25, 2008 11:47 PM

The asshole's name is Clinton Chad Grainger, from Snohomish. The blood on his face is from the beatdown the hippies gave him for shooting one of their own.

Posted by UnCommon Sense | May 26, 2008 12:14 AM

I hear the Mayor's going to close down all free public events, and limit events to only the super-rich and their artist friends ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 26, 2008 12:42 AM

Pistol-whip? How noir! I had no idea they still did things like that.

If I were coming into town all the way from Snohomish for the sole purpose of pistol whipping someone, I think I'd make sure the gun wasn't loaded.

But fortunately, I am not a whipper - pistol or otherwise. I much prefer the whithering look.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | May 26, 2008 8:35 AM

Or is it a withering look? Either way...

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | May 26, 2008 8:37 AM

I laughed. Fat people running is always comical. People getting shot, not so much. And the ball pic at the end was a nice touch. Cankles aren't as nasty as those muffintops!

Posted by ZWBush | May 26, 2008 9:56 AM

sam, you should get an award for this post. brilliant. i am yours forever.

Posted by adrian | May 26, 2008 10:21 AM

I'm liking Same more and more

Posted by Non | May 26, 2008 10:29 AM

shut up, non, you feckless turd. god i'm gonna kick your ass.

Posted by adrian | May 26, 2008 10:58 AM

How fun

Posted by Non | May 26, 2008 1:07 PM

People with childish emotions buy their rite of passage to hell.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 26, 2008 2:39 PM

Yeah, getting shot is SO freaking funny. Let's make up lots of jokes about innocent strangers being rushed to the hospital with bullet holes and blood everywhere. Hilarious.

Oh, wait. What's even MORE funny is small people and animals being trampled in a stampede. Oh, and big women running in fear. That's REALLY funny.



Posted by boobcat | May 27, 2008 12:25 AM

Oh, and big women running in fear. That's REALLY funny.

Strictly visually speaking, that's not just funny, it's hilarious.

Posted by Stan | May 27, 2008 5:53 PM


Yeah, to a sick jerk who has no compassion for other human beings. I'll bet you laugh when you see car wrecks or photos of emaciated famine victims, too. Holocaust photos must send you into hysterics of laughter, eh?

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have normal human emotions? Maybe a therapist could help you. Then again, maybe not.

Posted by boobcat | May 28, 2008 10:05 AM

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