News Headline of the Day
posted by May 13 at 14:07 PM
onFrom the AP:
Vatican: It’s OK to believe in aliens
But what we really need to know, of course, is what the Vatican usually concerns itself with: Is it okay to sleep with aliens?
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Comments
I think so. Especially latinos. HOT!
No, but it is OK for priests to touch them.
Only if they're female aliens.
But should we convert them to Christianity and if they refuse shall we kill them?
Yes, provided certain conditions are met. Firstly, the aliens must be examined by a certified ecumenical expert and determined to possess the proper genitalia to qualify as one of the two biblically-recognized genders -- no "partials" or "extra bits" will be accepted. Second, the person engaging in intercourse must be a recognized member of the biblically-recognized "opposite" or "complementary" gender. Thirdly, it can only take place within the confines of a church-sanctioned marriage, and must be undertaken for the sole purpose of reproduction, i.e. "peopling the world." So it follows that Fourthly, both parties must be practicing Catholics in good standing. Since it is the One True Faith, there is every reason to believe that Catholicism is practiced throughout the universe, with more advanced civilizations consisting entirely of Catholics.
Also, no anal probing! Unless the alien is a priest.
A Gilgamesh vagina is three feet long and filled with razor-sharp teeth! Do you seriously expect us to have sex with them?
Only missionary.
Simple minds think alike.
Simple minds "think" alike. Could they really get any more ridiculous? What next?
I mean, what is their "intrinsically disordered" problem? As we look out into the universe like never before and understand the nature of the universe like never before, these fools get ever more irrelevant and look ever more foolish. Something I didn't think was possible.
I realize that it's a funny headline and we all love to poke fun at the Catholic Church, but it *is* really refreshing to hear from a religious authority who doesn't think that scientific inquiry is the work of the devil.
Especially in this godunforsaken country.
[Criticism-defying credentials: I am a Catholic-raised immigrant alien atheist.]
@5 - Actually, according to the Catechism, you are officially allowed to have sex now just for the fun of it - providing you are also open to reproducing at the time. And provided you are in a church-recognized marriage. And provided your spouse is of the opposite sex. Oh, and provided you don't indulge in anything too kinky.
So much for enjoyment...
Anal probes are fine, as long as it's not same-sex probing.
aren't they called Femailiens?
You learn so much about Faith and the Universe on Cinemax.
DJS @1 and Mr. Poe @3 are correct.
The rest of you are just ... sick.
Hmm... That's a bit of a turnaround. Interesting to see such a thesis pushed with Ratzy in charge of things, so far as I knew the conservatives were still dead-set against life existing elsewhere.
Ah well, god knows they're probably only concerned with converting any we find, anyways.
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