Sex Did It Work?
posted by on May 12 at 9:16 AM
Maybe someone out there thought to ask the President or First Lady this question. Maybe a brave member of the White House press corps broached the subject at that press conference where the first lady took questions about the tragedy in Burma and her daughter’s upcoming wedding, and there’s a transcript out there somewhere and I can’t find it. But if there is, if someone did ask this question, I can’t find the story. So I’ll ask here:
Was Jenna Bush a virgin on her wedding night?
Was the mucous membrane that partially covered Jenna Bush’s external vaginal opening intact on Saturday night? Was her daddy seen nailing a bloody sheet to a fence post at the entrance to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, on Sunday morning? Anybody? A Google search of “Jenna Bush” and “virgin” turns up just 10 articles, most dating from before her wedding, and none are about this Bush twin’s virginity. (One is about Bob Schieffer giving a speech in Texas—WTF?)
Now whether a penis had ever, prior to Saturday night, been introduced into Jenna Bush’s vaginal canal, rending her maidenhead and ending her virginity, may sound like a private matter—something that’s between Jenna Bush and her new husband and her daddy’s laundress—but so might your daughter’s virginity. Or your son’s. But the federal government, under the leadership of Jenna Bush’s father, has made it quite clear that the virginity of young Americans isn’t a private matter. The federal government, under the leadership of Jenna’s daddy, has pumped more than a billion dollars worth of public’s money into abstinence education programs. And when he was governor of Texas Bush invested the hard-earned money of that state’s taxpayers in abstinence education programs. For more than a decade now teenagers and young adults—including, presumably/particularly, the Bush twins—have been instructed to abstain from sexual activity until marriage.
So this is a reasonable question, a prudent one, a fair one, one that the GAO might want to look into: Was Jenna Bush a virgin on her wedding night?
And if she wasn’t, here’s the obvious followup: Why wasn’t she? If Jenna Bush wasn’t a virgin on her wedding night—Jenna Bush, the daughter of George W. Bush, who sat down to dinner every night with the world’s biggest backer of abstinence education programs, silver ring things, father-daughter purity balls, hymens-bursting-on-wedding-nights, etc.—hasn’t abstinence education been a huge waste of public money?
Jesus Christ, Bush bush first thing in the morning, that can't be good. Though if I have to look at Bush bush, that's the one I'd choose.
You know the answer to your question, Dan: the rules don't apply to the leadership class.
Have you seen that cow? Who would want to admit to having taken her virginity in the first place?!?!
BTW, has Jena the Cow's husband enlisted so he can serve his nation to protect us from the forces of evil in Iraq?
I am really more interested in that than the Cow's viginity.
My, how you do go on. Whether or not Jenna was a virgin is, quite frankly, irrelevant. What is relevant is that abstinence-only programs quite provably don't work. But you'll never convince Bush of that.
I usually side with the staff on the whole NSFW on the front page argument, but a hairy spider shot on the front page is different from showing a couple of breasteses; thank $deity no one was by my desk when I checked Slog this morning.
Holy SHIT! I don't believe that is NSFW.
Put a blurr and link or something.
perked up my stale coffee a little.
Whoa, Dan--- sounds like you enjoyed writing that tirade. A bit over the top but kudos for using only one WTF in the whole thing.
And of course shw wasn't a virgin or else we would have heard about it endlessly as an example of how well abstinence ed supposedly works.
@2
she's not bad. And she was a fun loving hard drinking party chick -- she'd go for it. I'll bet she gave her fiancee a blow job in the oval office right where Monica gave one to Bill!
The liberal notion that conservatives don't have fun in the sack is a myth. They know their right wing abstinence bullshit is all talk. Don't you get it?
First, I'm not too worried about the NSFW in this case because it IS below the fold (at least in my case.
Second, Jenna is NOT a cow. puhleeze.
um, "finance"....
Dan Savage has made an effort to educate gay men as to the risks of unsafe sex, and in his opinion they should avoid anonymous orgies in bathhouses, or if they must, then they should use a condom.
Therefore, we can conclude that Dan Savage believes he has the right to collect data on whether or not specific gay men are engaging in safe sex in bathhouses, including their names and identifying information.
Wait, that's stupid.
Just because you want to educate people do do X, that does not mean you have any need for private data about anybody. Yes, you should do anonymous, voluntary surveys to determine if your education works, but that's all. And this research has been done, and abstinence only does not work, and there you go. Jenna Bush and her hymen are utterly irrelevant.
Bush should, however, be asked why she isn't over fighting in Iraq.
I almost forgot:
Firefox > Tools > Content > Load images automatically - Exceptions... > Address of web site: slog.thestranger.com > Block > Close > OK.
1) No.
2) She's a rebel.
It is too early in the morning for a fuzzy mimosa.
I agree with PC @ 8 - of course the Right realizes that abstinence education is a bunch of bullshit! There's plenty of pregnant Christian teenagers to demonstrate that it doesn't work.
Jenna's got her grandma's figure.
Ugh. I really, really do not want to know anything more than I (unfortunately) do about Jenna Bush's vagina.
Curious that he gave up the chance to give his daughter a big White House wedding. That would surely have gotten the fundy hearts all warm and toasty and given McCain the ol'family values push.
@18 She shot down the White House wedding idea... wanted more of a "low key" outdoor wedding.
(Dubya did however insist on erecting a huge limestone cross for the occasion, so the fundies were still placated.)
elenchos @11 has perfectly dissected dan's faulty "privacy" argument.
@2 and 3. If she's a cow, then I'm a fucking blue whale. I think you have a distorted image of how women's bodies actually look.
If Elenchos started a paper, I'd replace the Stranger with it.
That's not her in those photos, is it? It doesn't even look like her.
The good news? She and I will be moving to Baltimore at the same time. I'm figuring we'll announce a kegger and she'll be there!
How does her abstinence parachute unfurl?
made me think of this onion pic & headline:
Jenna Bush's Federally Protected Wetlands Now Open For Public Drilling
June 20, 2001
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34777
Don't you know it's OK to have sex before marriage if your partner and his/her parents are super rich, powerful members of the Republican party?
Questions like that are rude! Let us elevate the discourse! You are not to ask the Prez about his cocaine years or his DUI's, or about his daughter's virtue.
And what if she did anal only before the marriage? Is that "not sex", making her still a virgin? I think some of the Fundie Christian kids are playing that semantic game. (I never knew how much not-sex I wasn't getting until Clinton tried to define BJ's as not-sex. Wow. I'm not even getting not-sex.)
While we're being demanding, can't we ask for a cup of pee for drug testing? And from his daughter, too!
fyi that's totally NOT jenna bush in the photos.
So, I think she's hot! There I said it. She is the hotter of the bush twins, and as a straight guy, I would do her.
I hate the pres as much as anyone but not enough to overide my sense of sight. That's a nice beaver. Also, if you remember, this is the bush daughter that said she was considering voting for Obama. Maybe she's not all bad...
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