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Monday, May 19, 2008

1000 Words

posted by on May 19 at 13:08 PM


Slog tipper Charlie writes…

My wife and I were walking by the ol’ Mars Hill this Sunday and came across this scene. The beauty and horribleness of this iPhone snapshot is beyond further description.

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I'm sure it would be hilarious if it weren't so hard to see.

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 1:17 PM

Ponch & Jon are on the case.

Posted by mackro mackro | May 19, 2008 1:17 PM

I have been meaning to crash one of their services at the Wedgewood Branch some Sunday morning since it is close to my place but I just really do not care about Driscoll and his delusions of a unreal God or whatever he prays to. Well, I heard what he prays to at Club Z on Saturday nights but that's a secret....

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | May 19, 2008 1:21 PM

Ka-ching! We accept cash, check, and credit cards...

Posted by Gary Seven | May 19, 2008 1:21 PM

Ha ha ha, too perfect. Their tax status should definately be in question. And seriously, their signage is actually pretty good, wonder how much money they threw at that?

Posted by Dougsf | May 19, 2008 1:25 PM

Somewhere along the way the banks started to look like churches and the churches started to look like banks.

Posted by CommonKnowledge | May 19, 2008 1:33 PM

@5 I was thinking the same thing.

Posted by Jeremy | May 19, 2008 1:44 PM

By the way, anyone know why they chose Mars Hill for a name? I mean, the site for the Athenian's High Court for Murderers seems a stretch for something Holy...

Posted by KBF | May 19, 2008 1:49 PM

Giveth unto me teh moniez plz.


Posted by Jesus | May 19, 2008 1:51 PM

At some point in every hipster's life comes the time when he or she realizes that all of the accouterments of his or her artistic or cultural life are not, as he or she believed, exclusive to the groovy. Punk rock, attractive typefaces, tattoos, funky facial hair -- these are all features of the Christian goon lifestyle as well.

How many pieces of silver can you get in one of those trucks, anyways? Thirty doesn't go as far as it used to.

Posted by Fnarf | May 19, 2008 1:52 PM

It's hard to throw the moneychangers out of the temple when they arrive in armored trucks...

Posted by Hernandez | May 19, 2008 2:03 PM

this picture isn't that funny, nor are the comments.

However, if someone could quickly swap out mars hill with any branch of the church of scientology, then the picture would be a million times more funny...rather than just looking stupid.

Posted by sir jorge | May 19, 2008 2:14 PM

I dunno about the signage- yes it's clean, but it comes off as too "generic office building" to me.

I'd have gone with something that conveys "warm and inviting", although "cold and sterile" might be more fitting for Mars Hill.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | May 19, 2008 2:17 PM

My first thought was that it was a SWAT van, but then, being the god of afterthought, I'm not always the first off the mark.

Posted by Epimetheus | May 19, 2008 2:19 PM

Churches aren't allowed to have money?

I don't get it.

Posted by w7ngman | May 19, 2008 2:22 PM

It just reminds me of back when I lived in NC and a group of us drove through Jim Baker's Christianland for a laugh. What we saw there was a very scary combination of Disney-esque and greed-fest. Complete with heavily armed guards dressed in their Sunday's best. Mars Hill smells of all of this. Very scary indeed!

Posted by Sad Comment | May 19, 2008 2:27 PM

On another note, this reminded me of something my friend told me last week. She had a date from with a devout Mars Hill-er. Apparently he had the mouth of a sailor and at the end of the date proclaimed they weren't compatible, but she should call him some time when she's out drinking. She was confused, and asked why they would meet up for drinks if they weren't a good match, he said not for drinks, but for a late hour booty call after a night of drinking. NICE!

Posted by D | May 19, 2008 2:33 PM

i can haz Jesus and moneyz?

Posted by Greg | May 19, 2008 2:42 PM

Mars Hill is Christianist, not Christian. It is a political organization pretending to be a church in order to further the right-wing misogynism of it's so-called pastor.

Posted by inkweary | May 19, 2008 2:55 PM


Posted by Bellevue Ave | May 19, 2008 3:02 PM

could it be that they have a pick up for the cash from Sunday's offering? And that it might protect the church's staff from having to drive it to the bank?

Posted by just a thought | May 19, 2008 3:08 PM

@21 Well yeah, I'd say that's pretty obvious. But when was the last time someone got carjacked for Sunday offering money?

Posted by Hernandez | May 19, 2008 3:28 PM

i think it refers to mars hill in rome. paul the apostle preached a sermon or two up there before them nasty pagan romans executed him.

Posted by scary tyler moore | May 19, 2008 3:32 PM

Mars Hill is a reference to the site of the Areopagus in Athens. In Acts chapter 17, the apostle Paul presents his defense of Christ as the true God to the council of elders. A little odd for a church name today, but to each his own.

As for the picture. People who attend churches often give money to said churches. Large churches necessarily have a large amount of money they have to handle. If this picture says anything, it is that it appears that Mars Hill takes that responsibility seriously, instead of just letting anybody make bank deposits. More non-profits should handle funds in such a fashion.

If anybody has issues with Christianity, Christian churches, or Christians; you should have intelligent discussion and interaction with their claims. Posting such a picture and slamming a church for such a picture just comes off as ignorant and agenda ridden.

Posted by Jose | May 19, 2008 4:00 PM

It's not ignorance, it's just polemic. "Churches are all about money." Some times it's true, and it's certainly worth mocking, but I don't think the picture is posted as an "argument" so much as food for the underlying bitterness people feel towards "the Church" in general and Mars Hill in particular.

Posted by Mr. Joshua | May 19, 2008 4:09 PM

@6--They're both houses of worship.

Posted by CallMeNobody | May 19, 2008 4:25 PM

@24 A little odd for a church name today, but to each his own.:

Conveniently, "Mars Hill" makes it possible for them to emblazon each building with Mark's Massive, Manly Monogram... "M", mind you, not "MH"...

Posted by cmh | May 19, 2008 4:41 PM

agenda ridden

Everyone's got an agenda. Mars Hill's (and many other churches') is to draw in money and consolidate power by manipulating people's spiritual needs. And I can say this even as an atheist because I've been there and seen firsthand how Driscoll shamelessly works the guilt angle for tithes.

Posted by shub-negrorath | May 19, 2008 4:54 PM

#21 and 22 - Agree, but sadly, probably does happen. That said, I've worked for plenty of businesses and had to do the nightly, or weekly drop to the bank. At the old Broadway Cinemas in the 90's, we'd carried multiple 000's of $'s down to Seafirst or whatever that was at the time, in what might've well have been burlap sacks with dollar signs embroidered on 'em. Then again, even though we were a cash-only, usually Gay-themed (or shitty children's movies) film house run by offensively cantankerous 20somethings, we probably had less enemies than Mars Hill.

Posted by Dougsf | May 19, 2008 5:56 PM

No problem with churches collecting money, but it depends on what the money is used for. If I thought for a moment that a single dime of the proceeds from the Mars Hill collection plates was going to help the less fortunate in Seattle or to the victims of natural or human-made disasters in Burma, China, or any of a thousand places around the globe I would be OK with the sight of an armored car standing by to whisk the money to the nearest bank. But I have been around evangelicals enough to know better.

Posted by RainMan | May 19, 2008 7:06 PM

The pic reminds me of George Carlin.
"God loves you a lot. He just needs a little money."

Posted by robot2501 | May 19, 2008 8:01 PM

@ 24: "Ignorant and Agenda-Ridden" should be the subtitle to this blog. Because the barely glowing wad of whatever weak minded brand of humanism these intellectual lightweights are sucking through their bongs seems to fuel their incessant posthipster derision of anything normal as unsupportive of their glassy eyed visions of a world full of leather bars and amyl nitrate.

Posted by Bob | May 19, 2008 9:41 PM


I don't see "anything normal" in the crosshairs....

Posted by A different Bob | May 20, 2008 6:53 AM

32 As opposed to a world of brainwashed sheep who believe myths and superstitions are truths. Who fail to see the true beauty of nature and the universe for a deluded version made by and for simple minds. Who's religion has no more claim of validity than any other and has an unbroken history of vile inhumanity. If that's "normal", no thanks. It's time to grow up.

Posted by Vince | May 20, 2008 6:55 AM

Is it important that the photo was taken with an iPhone?

Posted by Gloria | May 20, 2008 8:49 AM

Safeway should be so clever as to post there hours as good as that logo signage.

Posted by Jimmy L | May 21, 2008 12:29 AM

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