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Monday, April 28, 2008

The Department of Praying and Development

posted by on April 28 at 16:08 PM

Why bother with old-fashioned planning? Last week Ken Hutcherson sent this note to his Prayer Warriors:

Please be praying! We have submitted a proposal to lease a 76,000 square foot building which would allow us to have a 24/7 facility. Please pray that we get a favorable response to our proposal tomorrow evening.

The deal wouldn’t be contingent on a fat bank account—filled from the pockets of the Prayer Warriors—of course. Money takes a back seat to worship when it comes to signing leases. And the almighty hand obviously cinched the deal this morning.

God came through, Prayer Warriors! It looks like Antioch is about to have a home!

The master leaseholder of the building we want has agreed to sublease to us. All we need now is approval from the building owner so please be praying for that.

The building’s owner wouldn’t be looking at past rental history, credit ratings, etc. Only prayer can cover the details. When we go to sign the lease, pray the car has gas in it. Pray that the pen works, and if it doesn’t, that another pen will be on hand. Is God’s help necessary for every little thing?

RSS icon Comments


If something good happens, God did it. If something bad happens, God moves in mysterious ways. If something goes wrong here, Ken will sue your ass with his almighty churchgoers.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 28, 2008 4:19 PM

I am still wondering how many people have fallen for that by three give is one shareholder plan he cooked up. Let's get the gays out of Microsoft AND line our pockets in the name of the lord!

Posted by jewritto | April 28, 2008 4:29 PM

I think the point is you're not asking "God's help" in the sense that you assume he's not involved anyways. It's admitting that God can bless you or screw you over, and you'd really rather he show you the favor of softening the heart of your landlord so they don't decide to tear up your application because you're a homophobic bigot. Essentially, they could have turned the church down for any reason or no reason at all. Ken Hutcherson protests the day of silence, essentially planting himself squarely as pro gay bashing. It seems like he would need divine grace to get a lease anywhere.

Posted by Mr. Joshua | April 28, 2008 4:36 PM

Hutch, if the guy wants to meet you in his private bowling alley to discuss the big church donation, don't go! It's a trap!

Posted by elenchos | April 28, 2008 4:36 PM

I'm praying that Antioch's "new home" is owned by someone who once worked at Microsoft, and that they use the lease money provided by Rev. Hutch & Co. to buy even MORE MSFT!

Posted by COMTE | April 28, 2008 4:36 PM

Remember, God hates the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

But that's ok, since God is merely a figment of imagination by the FSM in the first place ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 28, 2008 4:39 PM

I'd like to see an expose done by the Stranger on Antioch's finances and how much they get via "tithings" and NGOs. The rise of these mega churches is scary.

Posted by apres_moi | April 28, 2008 4:41 PM

@4 It took me a second, but that was good.

Posted by Mike of Renton | April 28, 2008 4:45 PM

Upside is that he'll be out of the public high school gym. Downside is that he'll have qa space where he can spew every day of the week.

Posted by Dave Coffman | April 28, 2008 5:12 PM

I think Rev. Hutcherson is due for a "Santorum" treatment. What say you, Mr. Savage?

Posted by Bub | April 28, 2008 5:17 PM

fill me in on private bowling alley, pliss.

Posted by scary tyler moore | April 28, 2008 6:51 PM

I know a woman who, when she goes shopping at the thrift store, prays beforehand that God will make the good deals be available, and also a good parking spot.

I told her that showed an appalling lack of faith. If she really believed, she'd ask God to deliver all the bargains directly to her house.

Posted by pox | April 28, 2008 7:17 PM

I don't think it's wise to dismiss Hutch as the nutcase that he is. He's a dangerous bigot with a rich and powerful following. He might appear to many of you to be a joke, but with out sounding too melodramatic he might hold a dagger behind his back while holding the Bible in the other. Those are the typical signs of real danger.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | April 28, 2008 8:54 PM

@11 Cf. There Will Be Blood

Posted by el | April 28, 2008 9:23 PM


Santorum:1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.

Hutcherson:1. A bitter, self-loathing closet queen that denigrates his own kind in an attempt to convince himself and others he's 'better than those people'. 2. Rev. Ken Hutcherson of Antioch Bible Church in Kirkland, Washington.

Posted by Y.F. | April 28, 2008 9:31 PM

There's a car with Arizona plates parked on the waterfront where the God Hates Fags truck used to park, with the following bumper sticker: "PRAY or become PREY."

Posted by Insecure journalist | April 28, 2008 10:00 PM

"He's a dangerous bigot with a rich and powerful following. "

The first part I'll buy, but what "rich and powerful following" does he have? If he had influential people in his flock, they wouldn't put up with his ineffective theatrics, let alone the whole high school gym thing.

Hutch is a fool, leading fools. Nature always takes care of fools.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | April 29, 2008 7:07 AM

Of course, God is responsible for all. I have a relative by marriage who's an Antioch goer. (And that's actually one of the least bat-shit crazy things about him.) He offered a really long grace at a recent party for a 4 year old that included, "And thank you father for the swimming we enjoyed today." Really! NoF'nSh**? You needed devine intervention to decide to jump in a back yard hole filled with water?

Posted by kayess | April 29, 2008 7:47 AM

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