News Story of the Day
posted by April 3 at 10:17 AM
onCourtesy of NBC10 out of Philadelphia:
Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.
Now that’s a goddamn lede!
Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.
Three DVD’s? Just how many times has this Price guy violated a picnic table?
According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table.
Wait…what? How the hell did that work?
Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.
Well at least he’s a courteous perv.
During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.
Sexy, sexy picnic table…
(Via The Agitator.)
Comments
that isn't a sexy picnic table as it has no hole for the umbrella. Where is a guy supposed to stick his dick?
There's no denying it--that's an irresistibly fuckable picnic table.
Still, keep that shit indoors.
I'm guessing this was all on his property, so fuck it, let him do what he wants.
Since when is furniture sex illegal? Is it a consent issue or something?
I guess it wouldn't have been as funny if you used an image of the type of table that was described in the article instead of the classic type of picnic table.
First it was the bicycle guy. Now the picnic table guy. What's next, lawnmower guy?
is it really sex, or just gettin off? and how can any of this be illegal?
Was it his picnic table? Then let him fuck it, I say.
Ouch.
(Insert splinter joke here)
Sex with picnic tables doesn't lead to disease or unwanted children. Splinters, however, can be an issue.
I think the article I read yesterday said that it did have a hole in it. I don't know if it was for an umbrella, or something the guy put there to help facilitate his...uh...needs.
@4 - I believe he was charged with indecent exposure or something along those lines; not charged for the actual act of fucking the table.
Dang, you beat me by a minute on that one.
Yes, but was it a male or female picnic table?
stinkbug: Nice catch. I've changed the pic to better reflect the sexy table in question.
The article I read said that he was being charged with four counts of public indecency, but as of yesterday, the authorities have dropped the charges since the evidence (aka: the neighbor's videos) didn't support a Felony case.
Gives new meaning to "getting a woody".
You know, if they hung the picnic table on the wall and called it art ...
Well, he has the picnic table, now he just needs one of these, designed specifically to handle "long meat".
http://gizmodo.com/375711/bagetty-wiener-microwave
great, now you got me all hot and bothered with that newer photo.
Preserve table-consent! Arrest the bastard! :P
NSFW! That picture of the table is just too revealing.
Ohio is a boring boring state. A man has a lot of time to sit and think.
they should charge the neighbor with some sort of peeping charge.
@23 - let's just hope the perv neighbor isn't selling vids of it on the Internet ... lots of people trying to get wood there.
For the record, the citizens of the town in Ohio had a problem with the fact that he lived 50 feet away from an elementary school, where kids could have a clear view of the table-sex. The story, as reported, wasn't focused on any problem with table-fucking, but rather table-fucking in front of children.
Source: http://www.fox19.com/Global/story.asp?S=8083860
A couple of points ....
He was outdoors -- during the daytime -- in view of an elementary school. He also has three children that attend that elementary school (poor kids - they're going to get picked on).
Me - I like my vibrator - but I'm not going to go using it on the playground.
That's a fine-lookin' table you got there. I could get along real well with that one. Oh, yes, I could.
Comments Closed
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).