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Friday, April 11, 2008

Slog Happy Last Night

posted by on April 11 at 10:41 AM

It was nice to see many of you at last night’s Slog Happy. Sorry I didn’t get the chance to talk to everyone.

Some Topics Discussed: How to fist yourself on a statue, James Joyce, Alyson Hannigan’s hotness, e-mailing penis photos to a stranger on Craigslist, which authors are assholes in person, how to get involved in short pornographic film production, how many chins I appear to have in a certain digital photograph (popular consensus leaned toward 23 chins), the relative attractiveness of men in the 1980’s, and whether Chad Lowe looks like a hockey player.

I Saw You: Mr. Poe, heading outside and returning decidedly more, um, organic; Scary Tyler Moore, pointing at me and making the drinky-drunk motion with her hand; Original Monique, taking photos of everyone, no doubt with the nefarious intent of sticking faces onto pornographic photos with Photoshop; NaFun, wearing the greatest coat since Vin Diesel’s scene-stealing giant fur monstrosity in XXX; Will in Seattle, looking quite dapper (did you do something with your hair?); Aislinn, telling the story of her shattered foot, which was injured in a fit of exuberance. Pretty Much Everyone But Me: Heading to Saint after leaving Moe Bar.

This Hangover-Free Morning (and also chins 16 through 19) Brought to You By:

00858CL.GIF

DiGiorno’s Ultimate Four-Cheese Oven Fresh Pizzeria Pizza. Motherfucking delicious.

RSS icon Comments

1

sorry i missed it....one I havent been frequinting the slog as much as I'd like to from work and other projects and two I was sick....I'll be back in the wilds in may but I'd love to come out in june for a little meet and greet before heading to wyoming

Posted by linus | April 11, 2008 10:46 AM
2

But I didn't inhale! I swear!

Anyway, it was a blast, but I don't remember much of it. I barely remember whatever went down @ the Saint. I do remember the conversation about Sean Nelson, though. Teehee!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 10:48 AM
3

speacial apologys to andrew and elswinger...hope you had a magical happy fun time last night

Posted by linus | April 11, 2008 10:48 AM
4

One of these years I'm going to visit Seattle and make an appearance. I would have loved to have "returned decidedly more organic" with Poe.

Posted by Mike in MO | April 11, 2008 10:48 AM
5

It was fun!

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 10:49 AM
6

Yeah and I totally got laid. Or at least that's what I was told.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 10:50 AM
7

Why did Scary Tyler Moore kidnap Dominic Holden and have a beard?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 10:52 AM
8

How did the VIP room work out?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 10:53 AM
9

worked out well except for like 4 people who we didnt know sitting at one table.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 10:55 AM
10

I wanted to join Poe, NaFun, etc. on their little excursion, but I thought it would be rude since I had nothing to contribute to the...uh, "discussion". Next time I will come prepared.

Posted by Hernandez | April 11, 2008 10:55 AM
11

note cards hernandez, note cards!

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 10:56 AM
12

Yes, note cards! And WHO WERE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE?!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 10:59 AM
13

I bet they were all stalking the writers that they are hatefully obsessed with, and could think of nothing to say until their most hated writer said something clever, and then they all fell all over each other with clever quips, retorts, and amusingly random non sequiturs.

Posted by Rain Monkey | April 11, 2008 11:00 AM
14

Poe gets very, um, vocal after a few PBRs.

Posted by tsm | April 11, 2008 11:02 AM
15

The basement room had an earthy smell. Like a root cellar. Like a grave, really. Very goth. It was far more pleasant to have lots of room to walk around and sit, and to have it quiet enough to talk.

I asked for a "vodka martini" and was asked what kind of vodka I wanted. Oh well. I guess from now on when you try to order a well drink they're going to try to upsell. Having our own bartender was great though.

Posted by elenchos | April 11, 2008 11:02 AM
16

Meh, DiGiorno's. The best pizza joint in town is literally across the back alley from me. And one of these days I will hop on a plane and come to one of these too.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 11, 2008 11:04 AM
17

@14

That's what the pot is for.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 11:04 AM
18

I was sad that my reusable bag didn't spark a flurry of impassioned tirades and fistfights.

Also, for those of you who don't know what the hell I was talking about when I mentioned The Pretender:

http://images.askmen.com/imagesvote/2002_feb/television_vixens/andrea_parker%20.jpg

Posted by Greg | April 11, 2008 11:07 AM
19

sorry i couldn't make it, i was cleaning up feathers.

Posted by orangekrush | April 11, 2008 11:11 AM
20

Sounds better than spending a week with a retired, Republican parental unit at the Eagles, the VFW, the American Legion, etc....

After viewing retirement living, I think my new retirement plan is to shoot myself at 64-1/2.....

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 11:12 AM
21

I laughed at my great grandpas funeral when they mentioned a gathering at the American Legion. Holy fuck my mom was pissed.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 11:17 AM
22

i did NOT kidnap Dominic! ask him! and you can't prove i have a beard, mr. white-man-boogie-bad-dancer bellevue ave. you can't you can't you can't!

mr. poe has a nice little ass and he smells good. his jew and i had a nice chat about bellingham, where i spent my late teens and early '20s going to WWU and hanging out in the only gay bar in town.

paul, honey, i was pointing at Mr. Drinky Poe when i gestured. i wasn't implying you were swigged or anything.

all that aside, i had a great time. see ya in May!

Posted by scary tyler moore | April 11, 2008 11:20 AM
23

I wore a tag that said "I'm Pro bag Tax, Fuck You!" but my handwriting is so bad no one could read it.

Also, I once again refrained from kicking anyone in the nuts, and had a great time until I had to excuse myself from dinner to stumble home and get sick. Good Morning!

Posted by NaFun | April 11, 2008 11:21 AM
24

It wasn't the conservatism that drove me over the edge. It was the karaoke at the Eagles, the VFW, the American Legion, etc....

The horror. The horror.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 11:21 AM
25

@16 Care to share the name of the pizza joint for those of us who sometimes travel to the mile high city?

I'm sad I missed the fun, sometimes it sucks to be a responsible adult.

Posted by PopTart | April 11, 2008 11:24 AM
26

theres nothing wrong with taking a child to a bar pop-tart

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 11:26 AM
27

In case anyone was wondering, I had nothing to do with Aislinn's foot (she "fell down the stairs").

#15, how did I not see you there?

I asked for a bourbon and seven, and the cute but hapless bartender gave me a long confused look before asking "do you want the well?" Yes, yes I do. It tasted way better than it should have, and I fear if we hadn't have been booted at 8:30 (does this answer your question, #8?) I would have gotten more tossed than Aislinn.

Poe, and everyone else apparently, we missed you at the Saint. We should just barhop Olive some other time ftw. I did go inside, after an overly thorough ID check from the bouncer (I realize it's your first night, dude, but really?), then realized I had Aislinn's ID (yes, I was carrying her purse), so I went back outside. At this point we decided that a) we needed to pee b) we needed to "pass out" and c) it was pretty douchy inside (seriously douchy, possibly douchier than kurrent), so we left. I peed at the Bellevue transfer station, in case anyone's wondering. Hopefully it will repel whoever keeps feeding the fucking pigeons there.

It was nice to see tsm, Paul Constant, Bellevue Ave, Mr. Poe, COMTE, and Will in Seattle again. It was nice to meet Paul's friend, Bellevue Ave's girlfriend, NaFun, scary tyler moore, Greg, Original Monique, and Original Monique's boyfriend (who I had the pleasure of going to college with, and who also attempted to get me a job (thanks!)). Everyone else, especially elenchos and Mr. Poe's jew, sorry I missed you. Maybe next time.

Posted by w7ngman | April 11, 2008 11:27 AM
28

Man, I wish I had had pizza. W7ngman forced me to eat some bread and drink some water when we got home... I still have a wicked hangover. It was so worth it. SO much fun. I love you all.

Also, those people who came in and sat on the other side of the room? I know one of them. His name is Kevin. I was too drunk to ask/care what they were doing.

Posted by Aislinn | April 11, 2008 11:28 AM
29

PopTart: Famous Pizza on East Colfax (south side of the street, between Humboldt and Franklin). All this talk of pizza is making me hungry; think I'll go get a slice or two right now.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 11, 2008 11:31 AM
30

Now that you mention it, scary tyler moore, Mr. Poe *did* smell nice. I maintain neutrality about his ass, though.

Posted by w7ngman | April 11, 2008 11:32 AM
31

Me and Bellevue Ave GF went to pizza amante afterwards. Pizza is delicious and helps hangovers.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 11:34 AM
32

I wanted to come, but the Power of Christ compelled me to stay home and Pray for Rosemary's Baby...

Posted by michael strangeways | April 11, 2008 11:41 AM
33

I think I said something atrocious to Bellevue Ave GF, probably due to some misunderstood conversation about a doula or something. My bad. Sorry.

It's just a shirt my ex-ex-ex-gf (three gfs back) helped me pick out, not a hair change.

Nice bar at the end where Original Monique and Abby helped us with drink choices - this is after Saint - we were way way inside at a table, after waiting forever in an overly crowded bar area for drinks. Tasty - I think Saint might be fun during Happy Hour or when not so crowded - would have like to try some of their food ...

Shout out to Kate who recognized us as infamous SLOGsters at the last bar ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 11, 2008 11:45 AM
34

w7ngman, I dunno. I thought I mingled around a fair bit, triggering the wide-eyed "It's YOU!" I keep getting at these things. I guess I seem unreal or something.

Posted by elenchos | April 11, 2008 11:47 AM
35

I wish I could come to these things... I need to find the Chicago version of Slog, apparently.

Posted by Julie | April 11, 2008 11:50 AM
36

damn east colfax isnt that where all the bangers are

Posted by vooodooo84 | April 11, 2008 11:55 AM
37

#33, what was the last bar?

Posted by w7ngman | April 11, 2008 12:04 PM
38

Original Monique: Can you upload those pics to the Stranger Flickr? I want to see them!

Posted by Aislinn | April 11, 2008 12:16 PM
39

OK, @36, so it can be a little bit of a rough neighborhood. If you have any amount of street smarts, it's fine.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 11, 2008 12:31 PM
40

@29 hey, is that close to where the Tattered Cover moved?

@26, Yeah but it's tough to get a good fake ID for a six year old. Besides, the only bars his girlfriend lets him hang out at are the monkey bars on the playground.

Posted by PopTart | April 11, 2008 12:40 PM
41

@37: It was Sun Liquor.

Posted by Mikki | April 11, 2008 12:43 PM
42

Yeah, PopTart, the Tattered Cover is about 12 blocks further east.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 11, 2008 12:51 PM
43

Sun Liquor? We left just in time.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 12:56 PM
44

Famous Pizza is good, but I like Two Fisted Mario's better.

Better pizza and atmosphere. Not too mention better t-shirts. "Your girlfriend likes it Two Fisted" "There's no service like no service"

I miss Two Fisted for sure.

Posted by PdxRitchie | April 11, 2008 1:24 PM
45

Oh, I am so glad I didn't make the trek down to Saint...

And we still need to come up with that rousing Seattle Sounders FC fight song.

And sorry Mr. Poe, but I STILL think "Sunshine" is a horrible movie, and apparently, even the film's scientific advisor had some issues with the science was inaccurately portrayed.

Posted by COMTE | April 11, 2008 1:32 PM
46

Also, there were tacos. Not from the Saint, but tacos.

And someone played Scott Walker singing Jacques Brel, which made me happy in the very geeky way I get when I hear a song I really like.

Posted by Abby | April 11, 2008 1:54 PM
47

@45

If you listened to the commentary, you'd know most of that already. I already addressed what I loved about it, mostly subjective although I would argue that the movie wasn't "horrible" even if it's simply someone else's opinion. It wasn't anywhere near "horrible". That would be The Core.

But it was fun. See you all next month. Unless I'm dead.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 2:01 PM
48

bludgeoning with a wiimote might make that happen poe.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 2:04 PM
49

Poe's a wiimo kid?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 2:12 PM
50

Were they from Taco Gringos? Those are really small for the price, unless you're drunk, and then they're just tacos.

Never been to Sun Liquor. Personally I would have gone to Summit Pub.

Posted by w7ngman | April 11, 2008 2:12 PM
51

I liked the tacos. They were wiimote-friendly.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 11, 2008 2:14 PM
52

he's anti wii to the extreme. Which is why im gonna use the nun chuck attachment on his lily white ass.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 11, 2008 2:21 PM
53

I might just pay to watch that.

There's going to be a new (and fantastically hip) Mexican joint in that area pretty soon.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 2:31 PM
54

@51: that doesn't make sense. Also, you asked me if I knew the gender yet. Of the baby. I'm hella not pregnant, and I swear I don't look it, so I assume you must just be a nut. Double also, if and when I do get pregnant, I will not be out drinking insane amounts of liquor like I was last night, because, well, I'd be pregnant.

Posted by Mikki (Bellevue Ave GF) | April 11, 2008 2:33 PM
55

@54: Hahahahahahahahaha. I second that Mikki does not look pregnant.

There are A LOT of fat ladies in my office building, something my (relatively fit) coworkers and I have always wondered about. On the elevator this morning, one of them was talking about people mistaking her for being pregnant, and it was really hard not to laugh out loud.

Posted by Aislinn | April 11, 2008 2:46 PM
56

Wii's are for bitches who suck ass at FPS games on actual consoles.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 11, 2008 2:47 PM
57

And for people who suck at games in general, which is what make them awesome, Poe. Also I played tennis as Jesus last time I was on a Wii.

@50: yes, and I was pretty drunk at the time, so they just tasted like tacos. I think I bought one for Bellevue Ave too, but I may have been imagining it.

Posted by Abby | April 11, 2008 2:56 PM
58

@52, wanna borrow my wii zapper crossbow? Its heft should make an impact...

Posted by PopTart | April 11, 2008 3:06 PM
59

Thank you Aislinn! You know, a strange thing was happening to me a bit ago, I was looking up "best" in the dictionary and I didn't see your picture. Wtf?

Anyway, @57, yes, you bought Bellevue Ave a taco. Everyone was having tacos except for me. I took my pregnant self outside to smoke a cigarette and send drunken text messages.

Posted by Mikki | April 11, 2008 3:06 PM
60

@54 - i know, that's why I was so confused, you don't look it at all ... it was a carry over from a prior conversation. which is why i said "Sorry".

But I still think the tacos are Wiimote-friendly. Maybe they only taste good when you've had four or five drinks?

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 11, 2008 3:15 PM
61

lol ... I may have talked a bit too much about Icy Hot on genitalia last night, but at least I never mistook someone for pregnant. I feel better now.

Posted by tsm | April 11, 2008 3:19 PM
62

I bet he mixed up me with Bellevue Ave, and by analogy mixed Mikki up with poltroon, leaving you pregnant. Strong drink will do that to you.

She should be about the size of a planet at the next happy slog, so hopefully nobody will have any trouble knowing what a real pregnant lady looks like.

Posted by elenchos | April 11, 2008 3:30 PM
63

@59: good, I remembered correctly. I always feel pleased when I manage to do that while drunk.

Posted by Abby | April 11, 2008 3:34 PM
64

@61: My boss talked to me about that at work recently, and it made me want to die a little. He also mistook someone (not me) for pregnant and then had me send an apology email.

Thank you Will, I feel better now. Still slightly confused, but no longer in a pissed off way.

Posted by Mikki | April 11, 2008 3:36 PM
65

As a general rule, I never ask a woman how far along she is, or what the sex of the child is going to be, unless and until I see the crown of its head breaching.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 11, 2008 3:41 PM
66

You white people look all alike. Sorry about that, it's hard to keep track ... (grin) ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 11, 2008 3:59 PM
67

@61: Hahaha, you still have to finish that story... I mean, TWICE? Why?

Posted by Aislinn | April 11, 2008 5:05 PM
68

I turn 21 the day before next Slog Happy and cannot wait to show up.

Posted by Jaye | April 11, 2008 6:14 PM
69

Can I cum?

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle's Enormous Penls | April 11, 2008 9:59 PM

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