Books Self-Published Books Don’t Get Any Respect
posted by on April 28 at 10:59 AM
I often get indignant e-mails from self-published authors about why I don’t review their books. They accuse me of generalizing and saying that all self-published books are bad. In my defense, here is Exhibit A, weighing in at 3.2 pounds and 648 pages, and costing one hundred and fifty dollars:
If you are the sort of person who gets headaches from ALL CAPS typing, you will not want to follow me after the jump, whereupon I will copy the entire Amazon product description.
(Thanks to Slog tipper Lara.)
THIS IS A HOLYSPIRIT MANUSCRIPT BOOK: WHEN YOU BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL BE READING A HOLYSPIRIT DIRECTED BOOK FROM GOD; & *CHRIST JESUS. THIS BOOK IS GODS HOLYSPIRIT VOICE: THE CALL FOR ALL CHRISTIANS & CHURCHES TO REPENT FROM ALL THEIR SINS: EVEN FROM FALSE CHRIST TEACHINGS. BIRTH CONTROL SINS HAVE CURSE THE CHURCH WITH SPIRITUAL WHOREDOM & FALSE WORSHIP. RESULTING IN THE PERSECUTIONS: AGAINST THE HOLY PEOPLE. THIS BOOK MAY BE REVISED: BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS: MANY WORDS IN THIS BOOK: MADE HAVE BEEN CHANGED: TO>>DISCREDIT: THE AUTHOR. BUT IN TRUTH: I AM A HOLYSPIRIT CHOSEN ANOINTED DISCIPLE FOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS. EVEN FOR JEWS, MUSLIMS & GENTILE SINNERS. MANY PEOPLE WILL LEARN HOW TO> BECOME REAL BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN: THROUGH THIS HOLYSPIRIT BOOK & THROUGH THE PROTECTION & SUPPORT OF MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE!! JOHN 3 & 15. ALL NATIONS WILL OVER COME THE SINS OF BIRTH CONTROL. *BECAUSE HOLY DOMINIONSHIP IS ONE OF THE FIRST COMMANDMENT IN GENESIS 1;26-31. ALL BELIEVERS: WILL COME TO A HOLY VOW OF REPENTANCE: THROUGH GODS RESTORATION & THROUGH GODS ADOPTION VOWS. YES!! THE KINGDOM OF GOD & HEAVEN!! IS AT HAND!! FOR ALL WHO BELIEVE IN THE ONE CREATOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS OUR HOLYSPIRIT ETERNAL LIFE SAVIOR: SURELY YOUR NAMES WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE LAMBS BOOK OF LIFE!! *WHEN YOU SUPPORT & PROTECT MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE. WE ARE BRANCHES >JOHN 15 MY WEBSITE: http://groups.msn.com/ChristianPowerHealthProsperityAndSoul REMEMBER: GOD HAS MADE ME A HOLYSPIRIT VOICE FOR THE BRIDE OF GOD & CHRIST JESUS IN 1996 GOD TOLD ME TO TEACH THE GOSPEL ON CABLE TELEVISION IN TUCSON ARIZONA. *CONCERNING THE SINS OF THE CHURCHES: & CONCERNING THE>LACK OF GIVING TO THE POOR & ORPHANS: CHRISTIAN CHURCHES SHOULD: BUILD MORE:> WATER WELLS: & BUILD LOW INCOME HOUSINGS: MATTHEW 25 & ISAIAH 61
I'd still much rather have this one.
Not nearly as good as it's sequel, "JUST KIDDING: YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN ABORTED!!"
Geez, it's hard to believe no publisher wanted to pick that one up.
it's/its - damn
The internet: All the fun of interacting with the mentally ill without the incessant demand for spare change.
Ah, the constricting anus guy. Good call, tsm; one of the oldies but goodies.
I like how Miz Strong-Anderson appears to be blaming COMPUTER DICTATORS for her hundreds of thousands of typographical errors. Price is a little steep, though. Paul, you need to get a review copy!
I can get this for my Kindle, right?
Eliyzabeth. 'shudder.'
Dilute! Dilute! OK!!
My favorite part is :
THIS BOOK MAY BE REVISED: BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS
Darned computer dictators, they'll get you every time. Oh, and @6 - I actually have a copy of that one, my brother got it for me as a stocking stuffer. ;)
tsm wins.
@11: tsm was good, but I have to say I prefer @9, who I think nailed the etymology of THE HOLYSPIRIT.
It's always disturbing seeing a woman with her hands in her pockets. Especially when she's wearing a dress. Like a large man carrying a little umbrella, or a child in a tuxedo. DO NOT TRUST.
Does the whole book read like the blurb? I could barely make it through that. I couldn't imagine 600+ pages.
@1:
What I find really funny about that one is that apparently it took the author 252 pages to explain the action described in the title.
Seriously, how much can one really SAY about the health benefits of anal constriction?
hey, you can get it used for $81.90
Please tell me I'm not the only one who rated and reviewed Ms. Eliyzabeth's tome on amazon? Hint.
WOW.
Can I have that?
I think this beats "Latawnya the Naughty Horse."
But just barely.
How do these idiots get published?
LOL LOL!!!
FRYE APT. AND SEATTLE POLICE YOU ARE- COMMUNIST. DEVIL COMMUNIST YOU- ARE-DAMN LIAR! STOP YOU CATHOLIC YOU ARE SATAN FATHER THE LIAR! STOP I AM THE SON OF GOD.
the only self published books are rpgs, and usually you can get then as pdf files first to see if it is crazy F.A.T.A.L. shit or not.
hehe, I have the book mentioned @1. I'll bring it to Slog Happy.
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