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Posted by steve | April 7, 2008 7:33 AM

It's rough losing a parent. My Dad died three years ago, and yes, I was there by his side at the time. My Mom is still with us at age 83, and I know her day is coming too, but enjoy having her around that much more knowing that it can't last forever. You have been in my thoughts many times over the past week, and have my deepest condolences.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 7, 2008 7:39 AM

You're in our thoughts Dano!

Posted by Rye | April 7, 2008 7:42 AM

my sincere condolences. it has been a rough year for moms. my grandmother died this year and two of my dear friends' moms also died. it is a huge shift in the time-space continuum. take care.

Posted by xina | April 7, 2008 7:47 AM

You have a beautiful family. Thanks for all you have done and are doing to advance a positive public opinion of gays, by showing a diversity of thought.

Posted by Jeff | April 7, 2008 7:48 AM

My condolences to you and your family.

Posted by umvue | April 7, 2008 7:51 AM

My condolences, Dan.

Posted by Sam | April 7, 2008 7:52 AM

Dan, sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I think no matter how old we get the loss of a parent is very difficult.

Posted by Heather | April 7, 2008 7:52 AM

So sorry to read the news about your mother, Dan. You've painted a picture of her for your readers over the years in your column and your books that does her proud -- it sure sounds like she thought the world of you and that the feeling was mutual. Your loss is everyone's loss.

Posted by Peter F | April 7, 2008 7:56 AM

Wow, what a great picture. Judging from your books and this blog, your mother sounds like an amazing person. I'm very sorry to hear of her passing. The sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Posted by Betsy | April 7, 2008 7:58 AM

I'm so sorry.

Posted by Lesley | April 7, 2008 7:59 AM

Lost my own mother in 2001, and the world was never the same after--like the vibration of the universe changed. Maybe once our direct biological link to the world is gone, things do change.

But how nice she lives on in your work.

Be well, Dan, and heal.

Posted by Andy Niable | April 7, 2008 8:00 AM

My sincere condolences. Thank you for your At A Loss column. It was very touching.

Posted by MikeSF | April 7, 2008 8:01 AM

Sorry to hear that Dan. Keep your head up. As a Rogers Park resident I'm sad to see a neighbor go. Best to you and your family.

Is there a charity we can direct donations to in your mother's name? Perhaps flowers?

Posted by Kevin | April 7, 2008 8:04 AM

This photo is fantastic on so many levels, Dan. You're fortunate to have so many wonderful memories. Your mom was such a great presence during summers in MI. So many people will miss her.

Posted by Michigan Matt (soon to be Balt-o-matt) | April 7, 2008 8:07 AM

What a cutie pie! Thinking about you, Dan...

Posted by DanFan | April 7, 2008 8:08 AM

Sorry for your loss, Dan. Take care.

Posted by Fitz | April 7, 2008 8:10 AM

I wish good moms and dads could live forever.

Posted by Kristin Bell | April 7, 2008 8:12 AM

As @12 says, you keep the most important part of her alive by being you. And doing your best for your kid. I'm looking across my office here in Hamburg at a similar family portrait, but we're all a bit older than in your photo above. Both parents have been gone for years, and I still deeply miss them.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | April 7, 2008 8:14 AM

My condolences.

Posted by Ken | April 7, 2008 8:17 AM

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Condolences to you and your family.

Posted by josh | April 7, 2008 8:19 AM

Welcome back to Slog, Dan... weeks like the one you've had are rough on the body, the mind, and the soul and I hope you're taking good care of yourself. Indulge your inner five year old!! Losing a parent is a heart-wrenchingly awful thing to have to experience.

Posted by Katelyn | April 7, 2008 8:19 AM

My deepest sympathy Dan. The boyfriend and I are keeping your family in our thoughts.

Posted by Original Monique | April 7, 2008 8:19 AM

We love you. Take your time coming back. We'll miss you, but we can survive without you for a few days....

Posted by Mike in MO | April 7, 2008 8:23 AM

That's a great photo. As a grieiving person myself, I will just say that time takes care of what the heart can't. I'm glad you're taking the time to feel what you need to feel and honor your mother. Take good care.

Posted by ahava | April 7, 2008 8:27 AM

My deepest condolences Dan

Posted by Andrew | April 7, 2008 8:28 AM

Cool picture. It looks like the photographer, or someone off to the side said something to make you and your brother laugh a little.

thanks for sharing

Posted by -B- | April 7, 2008 8:32 AM

Oh, yeah, and your Savage Love column brought tears to my eyes...

Posted by Mike in MO | April 7, 2008 8:32 AM

@ 14: in Dan's latest Savage Love, he requests donations be sent to PFLAG.

Posted by Mike in MO | April 7, 2008 8:34 AM

i find it humorous that your dad was the only one looking at the camera.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 7, 2008 8:35 AM

Sincerest condolences Dan. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by Ben Masters | April 7, 2008 8:42 AM

Condolences to you and your family, Dan. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posted by Jessica | April 7, 2008 9:00 AM

Hey Dan. You and I are going through the same thing. My mom passed away 3 days ago. Her funeral is Friday. Even though we knew the time was coming (she's had Alzheimer's for 4 years) it's still painful. I'm trying to concentrate on the good memories of her.

My partner and I enjoy your podcast.


Posted by photogreg | April 7, 2008 9:04 AM

My condolences, Dan. Good luck.

Posted by Abby | April 7, 2008 9:08 AM

I'm so sorry.

Posted by piglet | April 7, 2008 9:08 AM

Dan, I think we all feel like we've lost a Mom because you always painted a wonderful picture of a great woman. Let me know where you're all drinking Friday evening and I'll buy y'all a round.

Posted by Big_K in Chicago | April 7, 2008 9:10 AM

Whenever I look at similar photos of my own family I am stunned to see how impossibly young my (now deceased) parents were.

My deepest condolences.

Posted by Andrew | April 7, 2008 9:27 AM

/power hug.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 7, 2008 9:35 AM

Sincerest condolences to you and the rest of your family Dan. From what you've shared over the years I know the earth will miss her.

Posted by cracked | April 7, 2008 9:36 AM

My condolences. I'd always smile whenever you mentioned her in the podcast or the column - she seemed like a great mom and a great person.

Posted by jon c | April 7, 2008 9:40 AM

Dan - very sorry for your loss. Your mother is beautiful.

Posted by Queen Vidor | April 7, 2008 9:44 AM

My condolences to you and your family.

Posted by Hernandez | April 7, 2008 9:47 AM

That's a beautiful photo to remember her by.

Posted by Fnarf | April 7, 2008 9:56 AM

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to your family.

Your column last week was a great tribute to an obviously wonderful woman. Your work and words carry on her spirit.

Posted by Cascadian | April 7, 2008 9:56 AM

Dan, your "At a Loss" column was incredibly moving. Your mother sounds like a woman who was full of compassion and grace. My condolences to you and your family.

Posted by PopTart | April 7, 2008 10:05 AM

I actually gasped out loud when I read the news in your column. I am so sorry for your loss. From the stories you've told about her, I'm sure your mom was a terrific woman. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers (cliche, but true).

Posted by Georgia Guy | April 7, 2008 10:06 AM

Hugs to you & the family Dan. We all feel a part of your extended family. That pic of you & the family almost made me cry.

Posted by Shawn | April 7, 2008 10:06 AM

My condolences. take care.

Posted by LMSW | April 7, 2008 10:11 AM

Your tribute to your mom was beautiful. You were proud of her, and she was proud of you.

You did good.

Posted by michael strangeways | April 7, 2008 10:13 AM

Welcome back, Dan. I'm so sorry for your loss. That picture makes me miss home. I remember the family portraits my Mom used to have us do. She always put my brother and I in matching one piece outfits. I like your outfit better.

Posted by trent moorman | April 7, 2008 10:18 AM

Dan, I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't slog all the time anymore so this is the first I heard. My sincere condolences.

Posted by Matt from Denver | April 7, 2008 10:24 AM

That sucks, Dan. Through your books and columns, you painted a great picture of your mom, and I honestly cried when I read your column. Take all the time you need to grieve properly. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by Beth | April 7, 2008 10:33 AM


I never know what to say in times like these =/.

Posted by Vasya | April 7, 2008 10:53 AM

Dan, I am so sorry. I feel I knew your Mom through your books and other writing. She was an amazing woman. Love to you, Terry and DJ.

Posted by Gidget | April 7, 2008 10:59 AM

i'm so sorry to hear this. as a gay man, i can't imagine a bigger loss than that of a mother.

Posted by joey | April 7, 2008 11:25 AM

As with #54, I also "knew" your mom through your writing, and I cried from reading your last column. My own parents are emotionally distant from my brother and me - I wish I had half as much of a relationship with either of them as you had with your mom. My condolences.

Posted by Nandor | April 7, 2008 11:25 AM

Your Mom has left us a wonderful gift in you Dan! She was obviously a great mom and woman.
IF my children love and honor me as much as you have your mom I will be happy forever.

Big hugs and lots of love

Mary Jo Hansen

Posted by mj | April 7, 2008 11:28 AM

My deepest condolences, Dan... Your column last week was extraordinarily moving -- thank you for writing it. And thank you, too, for sharing this wonderful picture of you and your family. Your mom totally looks like Tina Fey in this pic!!

Thank you for letting us get to know her. God Bless.

Posted by merry | April 7, 2008 11:39 AM

My condolences, Dan.

Posted by Justin J | April 7, 2008 12:04 PM

Prayers for you and your family at this difficult time.

I know how hard it is to lose a parent, but just remember that they loved you.

Take care Dan,

Ecce Homo

Posted by ecce homo | April 7, 2008 12:22 PM

St. Ignatius is where my sister got married. Did you know the Collerans I wonder.

Posted by small world society | April 7, 2008 1:00 PM

A real unselfish love,
I found in my mother's eyes.

My sympathies to you and your family.

Posted by RHETT ORACLE | April 7, 2008 1:11 PM

Is one ever really ready to lose a parent? Does one ever really acknowledge that they're gone? All I can say from my own experience is "maybe sometime, but not yet." But the keenness of the grief will gradually dull, Dan. My condolences to you.

Posted by Eric from Boulder | April 7, 2008 1:13 PM

My thoughts and care to you and all your family; your mom was a great lady.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | April 7, 2008 1:17 PM

I'll add my condolences to the long list here, but I also just want to point out for the record, this may be the ONLY Slog column in history in which not a single snide, snarky or pointless comment appears.

And I think your mom would have been comforted by that - she always seemed like a classy lady, and the heartfelt, compassionate responses contained herein reflect, I hope, our admiration and respect for her, and our sadness at her passing.

Posted by COMTE | April 7, 2008 1:23 PM

Condolences to you and your family Dan.

Posted by gnossos | April 7, 2008 2:59 PM

Late to the post. =/
My deepest condolences go out to you and your family, Dan. Through your work, you've painted a picture of a beautiful woman, inside, and apparently outside, too. I'll keep your whole family in my prayers!

Posted by fangirlhater | April 7, 2008 4:43 PM

:( I'm really sorry Dan. I hope that very soon you can only remember the good, not the bad.

Posted by Ed | April 7, 2008 4:54 PM

Condolences. I feel like I know your mother after reading about her for many years--a truly wonderful woman, from the sounds of it. I also worked with your brother for a time and I am confident you will have a good group to get lit with.

Posted by Estoppel | April 7, 2008 5:01 PM

My condolences for your loss. Thinking of you.

Posted by feom | April 7, 2008 5:37 PM

Oh Dan, your mother is so pretty! And she clearly loved you so much. You were one of the lucky ones. Take care.

Posted by Irena | April 7, 2008 5:45 PM


Posted by Deacon Seattle | April 7, 2008 7:17 PM

Just wanted to say condolences all the way from New Zealand. Your books painted a wonderful human picture of your mother and the world is definitely a lesser place without her.

Posted by Annamal | April 8, 2008 3:52 AM

I lost my Mother two weeks ago. My thoughts are with you I know how you feel I see it in your writting.

Welcome back home to Chicago, the whole city feels your loss and wishes you the best.

Posted by William | April 8, 2008 6:07 AM

Dan, my deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. I've been where you are and it hurts like hell. I know it's hard to believe now, but it does get better. You will reach a point where your every thought of your mother makes you smile and you will be happy just to know how blessed she made your life. You will miss her every day but it reaches a point of being poignant and not painful. Hugs to you.

Posted by Rich | April 8, 2008 6:51 AM

Deepest condolences to you and your whole family, Dan.

Posted by CheshireKatz | April 8, 2008 2:43 PM

My grandfather died three years ago in August. The first line of the (rather insipid) poem on his card was "I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one." That's what he would have wanted, I know it, and so would your mother. I have several cards, one I keep at home, the other is in my wallet. As cliche as it sounds, it makes me feel like he's always with me. She's still here, she lives on in you and your siblings. She was a truly great woman. I wish I had known her. Drink to her on Friday, and be well, Dan, for yourself and your family.

Posted by Jennifer in Chicago | April 9, 2008 12:20 PM

Dan, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope you are feeling somewhat better.

Posted by Winchester, UK | April 12, 2008 6:24 AM

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