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Monday, April 14, 2008

Proof that Seattle is a Hotbed of al Qaeda Sympathizers

posted by on April 14 at 17:19 PM

Downtown Seattle, Saturday, April 12:

alcohol.jpg

thepath.jpg

RSS icon Comments

1

sequitur, non.

Posted by professor | April 14, 2008 7:12 PM
2

Yeah, cause the right to be an obnoxious drunk in public is enshrined in the constitution.

What would make this city so much nicer is more booze related litter and people walking around drunk.

Posted by ecce homo | April 14, 2008 7:38 PM
3

What if we have a muscular motor disorder that is frequently mistaken for inebriation?

(pause)

Yeah, now get your sign out of our faces.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 14, 2008 7:44 PM
4

Well, you're the ones who wanted Seattle to be a "real" city.

Posted by Barack Hussein Osama | April 14, 2008 8:01 PM
5

And what's covered up in the bottom sign?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/plasticbag/1396266205/

"So plants can grow"

Was this sign perhaps located in a part of the sculpture park where the ill-chosen plants have already met their demise?

Posted by kinaidos | April 14, 2008 8:17 PM
6

..which explains why King County is not only the #12 drunkest county in the U.S., but the #1 drunkest county in the U.S. with a 1,000,000-plus population.

http://www.city-data.com/top2/co4.html

Posted by mackro mackro | April 14, 2008 8:21 PM
7

truly impressive, mackro, truly impressive. I say it's 'cause of the weather and the fact that we can smack ourselves into consciousness with a double espresso anytime, anywhere. plus, there's some pretty good brews hereabouts. and if that fails, there's always that VSOP with espresso, again.

Posted by chas Redmond | April 14, 2008 9:46 PM
8

By golly, you're absolutely correct ecce, it IS enshrined in the U.S. Constitution, right there in the 21st Amendment.

And if you have any doubt as to the intent of that particular amendment, I would also direct you to the second paragraph of The Declaration of Independence, wherein it states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their CREATOR with certain UNALIENABLE RIGHTS, that among these are life, liberty and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS" (emphasis mine).

This is of course directly attributable to the influence of Benjamin Franklin, who, when not risking arrest by the British Colonial Army for penning skreeds against the Crown under one of his various pseudonyms, observed, "Beer is living proof that GOD loves us and wants us to be HAPPY" (emphasis again mine).

Clearly, the Founders equated the creation and consumption of alcoholic beverages as literally a "gift from God", one that created happiness in mankind, and thus deserved to be enshrined as an "inalienable right" in the very documents that comprise the cornerstone of our system of government.

And so it follows naturally, that if the happiness derived from consumption of such beverages is our God-given right to pursue, so too must be the state of inebriation which is the logical and necessary end result of such consumption. That we do so in public must go without saying, as what could be a better exercise of our right to pursue happiness, than to share the joy we feel with our fellow men?

Posted by COMTE | April 14, 2008 9:55 PM
9

When I first read this headline I thought it read...

"Proof that Seattle is a Hotbed of al Qaeda Synthesizers"

that would have been better.
still makes little sense but, better.


Posted by duh | April 14, 2008 9:59 PM
10

Nice gaffe paint on that sign! I'm glad the waterfront streetcar is never coming back. Those sculpture park kids run a class operation.

Posted by kentankerous | April 15, 2008 7:30 AM
11

Thank you for staying on the path...of least resistance.

Posted by muggims | April 15, 2008 7:36 AM
12

I don't see how this follows. You do realize that the first church in Seattle was a dry church, right? And that Washington outlawed alcohol three years before the eighteenth amendment was ratified?

Posted by Greg | April 15, 2008 9:13 AM
13

True, Greg. But fortunately, Canada, land of cheap blended whiskey, is just a short boat-trip up the sound, so it's not like our great-grandparents really had to suffer from severe alcohol deprivation during those long, dark years.

Posted by COMTE | April 15, 2008 9:28 AM
14

Sure. Canada made cheap booze available for Seattle during Prohibition. Even the workmen who did occasional repairs on that dry church found ways to bring "medicinal" spirits with them; an empty bottle of that kind was found in the church attic eighty years later.

My point was that saying "no alcohol ==> muslim ==> Al Qaeda sympathizers" is not only a terrible and bigoted thing to say, but it also shows a troubling ignorance of Seattle's history.

Posted by Greg | April 15, 2008 9:41 AM
15

Greg @15, your chain is missing a few links. What's "Al Qaeda" translate to, again?

Posted by Nicholas | April 15, 2008 10:33 AM
16

Please, correct my ignorance.

Posted by Greg | April 15, 2008 10:58 AM
17

"All your al qaeda are belong to us"

Posted by ZIG | April 15, 2008 2:42 PM

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