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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Now, This Is Just God Damn Re-diculous.

posted by on April 30 at 15:44 PM

I have two great loves: Getting stoned as a biblical whore, and taking so-called “perception tests”. I also enjoy crushing any and all annoying, annoying bicyclists beneath the wheels of my car*. And yay for me, these are three great tastes that go great together. Of course, I am put at cross-hairs, as it were, over the following so-called “perception test” that I just got stoned maybe and stumbled upon (thanks, tipper “Matt”), which is nothing, as I’m sure you’ll notice, but filthy pro-biker propaganda. But since ECB will probably appreciate that fact (and because her hellish power, which I for one am terrified of, is growing by the moment), I present it below for your consideration.

Now wasn’t that fun? And clever? And strangely pro-biker? Of course it was.

And I don’t give a tap-dancing monkey turd if you’ve seen this before, so save it, haters. The Internet is a race, yes, but I’m no fucking racist**.

* Just kidding. I don’t have a car. I shoot bicyclists in the neck with homemade blow darts.

** Just kidding. I’m totally racist.

RSS icon Comments

1

Getting stoned makes you forget that this was slogged already

Posted by Porkchop Sandwiches! | April 30, 2008 3:57 PM
2

Wasn't this posted on Slog just a month or two ago?

it's still pretty awesome.

Posted by genevieve | April 30, 2008 3:57 PM
3

oh jesus. i don't READ slog. how the hell was i supposed to know? nobody tells me anything.

Posted by adrian | April 30, 2008 3:59 PM
4

Also.... I didn't see the bear either... freaky dude

Posted by Porkchop Sandwiches! | April 30, 2008 4:01 PM
5

Adrian,

ECB asked me to ask you a favor for her. Please crush Hillary Clinton under the wheels of your car. ECB secretly wants to do it herself, but she's afraid it will ruin her feminist street cred.

Posted by Betty Freidan | April 30, 2008 4:01 PM
6

...Rediculous?

Posted by Uhh... | April 30, 2008 4:03 PM
7

Rediculous. As in, it's diculous again, having already been posted?

Posted by Nick | April 30, 2008 4:05 PM
8

I love you snugglemuffin, especially when U R INSANE.

Posted by NaFun | April 30, 2008 4:07 PM
9
Posted by mmbb | April 30, 2008 4:07 PM
10

It proves that if you allow bicyclists in the street nobody will notice them. It's pro-biker, but anti-bicycling.

Posted by elenchos | April 30, 2008 4:09 PM
11

i think this was posted before. but no one notices the first time.

Posted by infrequent | April 30, 2008 4:20 PM
12

@ 7...exactly, but i guess i was too obtuse or something, so i added the hyphen to clarify.

Posted by adrian | April 30, 2008 4:26 PM
13

When you say "get stoned as a biblical whore", do you mean:

1. Get stoned *while in the role of* a biblical whore, or

2. Get stoned *to the degree that* a biblical whore would have done, notwithstanding the fact that the one really famous biblical whore who was threatened with stoning, didn't actually get stoned thanks to Jesus' timely intercession?

I think maybe you should not write when you are stoned.

Posted by Breklor | April 30, 2008 4:30 PM
14

Hey, if the moon walking bear were taking up the whole left lane of Westlake Ave and holding up traffic, instead of getting over to the side and letting drivers pass, like the flaming asshole I was behind on Monday, I'd notice him...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | April 30, 2008 4:35 PM
15

"stoned as a biblical whore"

I love the analogy, though "gay Iranian" might also work.

Posted by Mike of Renton | April 30, 2008 4:38 PM
16

I believe the word you're looking for, to quote John Wayne, is "re-god damn-diculous".

Posted by Dougsf | April 30, 2008 4:43 PM
17

No... Gay Iranian is used thusly: "Hung like a gay Iranian", as in "I hear that Adrian is hung like a gay Iranian."

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | April 30, 2008 4:44 PM
18

"Hung like a Kurdish camel thief." my personal favorite.

Posted by adrian | April 30, 2008 4:51 PM
19

Very nice... I could use me a good Kurdish camel thief...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | April 30, 2008 4:56 PM
20

Adrian, you got a couple hours to spare?

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | April 30, 2008 4:57 PM
21

You crack me up. Every time. Relaunch your blog already so you can crack me up some more.

Posted by blank12357 | April 30, 2008 5:04 PM
22

I hate this thing. All it proves is that if you're driving and someone tells you to count the lines in the road, say (or watch a basketball game), you might not notice a bicyclist in dark clothing. So yeah, powerful message. Don't concentrate on a single object while driving. I can't believe I've been doing that all these years.

Posted by Anthony Hecht | April 30, 2008 5:06 PM
23

POSTED.


lol; Fail.

Posted by Non | April 30, 2008 5:27 PM
24

@ 23

FUQ OFF, PSYCHO STALKER!

STALKER! STALKER! STALKER!

Posted by adrian | April 30, 2008 5:50 PM
25

@ 17... he is!

Posted by brandon | April 30, 2008 7:25 PM
26

@11 hey, that was good. i just thought someone should notice.

Posted by el | May 1, 2008 7:05 AM
27

thanks!

Posted by infrequent | May 1, 2008 9:19 AM
28

Adrian, while you are getting caught up on life here are a few more things you might want to make note of:
Led Zeppelin wrote a song called Stairway to Heaven.
Tay Zonday was a big youtube sensation last year.
Coolio just toured w/ Bone Thugs promoting a song he sang 15 yrs ago called Gangster's Paradise.

Posted by merko crocop | May 1, 2008 10:46 AM
29

@ 28
i've never heard of any of that. nor do i care.

Posted by adrian | May 1, 2008 11:39 AM

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