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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Memoirs of a Slut

posted by on April 22 at 9:28 AM

Kerry Cohen has written two—two—whole memoirs about what a promiscuous, out-of-control cock-hound she used to be: Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity and Easy. I haven’t read either of them, and neither have the ladies at Jezebel, who say they prefer “learning by doing.”

Like the ladies at Jezebel, I know a slut when I see one—and this Cohen woman? She’s no slut. Cohen is 37 and says she has slept with “forty-odd men,” according to an interview she did with women’s mag Marie Claire (“Confessions of a Sex Addict”). I don’t have the time, energy, or anti-nausea meds to wade through Cohen’s personal website, but presuming she became sexually active when most of us do—around age 16—her forty-odd sex partners works out to fewer than two dudes a year.

Um… that’s not promiscuity, Kerry, that’s serial monogamy. Please make a note of it.

More at Jezebel.

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This sounds like one of those "women's books", that's going to get excerpted in Cosmo and sold with a pink cover with embossed pumps and martini glasses on the front. So her audience isn't really interested in reading about real promiscuity. They just want a little titillation followed by a promise that you can slut around a little after college and still be a good girl at heart. That nice man in the suit you see when you're buying your bran muffin will still accept you.

Posted by Fnarf | April 22, 2008 9:36 AM

40 men is serial monogamy? Wow. I guess I don't know shit. I'm 38 and have slept with 5 guys. I call that serial monogamy. 40 sounds pretty promiscuous to me, but apparently I'm living in the dark ages.

Posted by city kitty | April 22, 2008 9:36 AM

40? That's pathetic. Any fag who's gone through a real slut phase, be that a month or a lifetime, could easily beat that number. Shit, there was this underwear party I went to when I was 21...

Posted by Gitai | April 22, 2008 9:36 AM

I do 40-odd dudes in a year.

Posted by Rye | April 22, 2008 9:40 AM

Unless your definition of monogamy is any non-group sex, where do you get monogamy from? Or serial?

To me you're a slut if you aren't bothering to learn their name or for find out which state they live in, whether or not you're racking up big stats.

Posted by elenchos | April 22, 2008 9:42 AM

40? LMFAO! @2 - yes dear, you are living in the dark ages. I'm 39. I have fucked whoever I want, whenever I want and am well on my way to 150 - without shame. I agree with fnarf.

Posted by The Real Deal | April 22, 2008 9:43 AM

Being that the average number of sexual partners in a woman's lifetime is less than 10, I'd say this woman is quite slutty.

Posted by dude | April 22, 2008 9:44 AM

Well, maybe if she banged most of them within a six-month period. But otherwise, an acquaintance of mine who claims 200+ sex partners should be wondering where her book deal is.

Posted by tsm | April 22, 2008 9:44 AM

If 40 makes you a slut then my lady is the Whore of Babylon. Can't wait to tell her.

Posted by Rotten666 | April 22, 2008 9:48 AM

maybe she is ugly?

Posted by SeMe | April 22, 2008 9:52 AM

Globally, people have had an average number of nine sexual partners. Men have had more sexual partners than women - 10.2 compared with 6.9 (not sure how this happens). It is all relative of course. 40 partners in 14 years is more than average but not what I would call a slut per se. It bears thought that most people aren't completely honest about thier sexual experience and history.

Posted by artlover | April 22, 2008 10:01 AM

If 40 guys by age 38 is a slut then I'm a big ol' ho-bag.

Posted by boxofbirds | April 22, 2008 10:06 AM

Wilt Chamberlain is rolling over in his grave. Forty was a good MONTH for him.

Posted by Fnarf | April 22, 2008 10:10 AM

Assuming the stat you're stating is for mixed-sex pairings... men CANNOT have more parters on average than women. Math doesn't work that was in a closed system, i.e "globally."

Someone, most likely everyone, is lying.

Now if your citing a stat that includes both same sex and different sex partners... this could make sense.

Posted by Jonathan Golob | April 22, 2008 10:11 AM

Well, per the Kinsey report, yeah, she's technically a slut.

Per anyone I like hanging out with, she's a rank amateur. Methinks Fnarf nailed this one on the head.

Posted by Karla | April 22, 2008 10:12 AM

I know girls who slept with more guys during 4 years of college...that is a slut. This woman sounds more like a serial dater.

Posted by Mark | April 22, 2008 10:16 AM

as long as we're not counting unwanted rectal exams in the ER then we're all safe in our #'s .

while wanted rectal exams probably count and add exponentially. IMO.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | April 22, 2008 10:17 AM
Assuming the stat you're stating is for mixed-sex pairings... men CANNOT have more parters on average than women.

Threesomes, Golob!

Putting that aside, though, the disparity could also be explained by sample size. If both sexes have about X sex partners on average, but one gender is pretty uniform in the distribution (e.g. most men have close to X partners) while the other gender is really skewed (e.g. most women have much fewer than X partners while a few women sleep with everyone), you could get screwy results if you take a small sample and call it representative.

Posted by tsm | April 22, 2008 10:24 AM

I'm just guessing here, but I would assume based on societal norms, etc, that the average number of sex partners is rather high for most gay men compared to straight women. If that's true, then the homos here comparing numbers to this would-be trollop are using an inaccurate barometer for sluttishness.

I will say, however, that if you're going to write TWO books about what a lusty bitch you are, "forty-odd" is way too low a number. She needs to be at least into triple digits.

One more thing I will say: the Kinsey studies and so forth that try and pin down an average number of sex partners for women are inherently flawed in that straight women are the ONLY sexual group that tends to underestimate their total. Straight men and gays/trans of both genders tend to overestimate, because we like to brag about it. Straight chicks have to deal with the shame, and so they hedge.

Whenever a straight woman tells me how many men she's slept with, I double it.

Posted by Matthew | April 22, 2008 10:31 AM

I don't keep a number of people I have slept with ... it's not worth it. Then you have to think and remember all those shitty lays that you never wanted to happen in the first place and ascribe a number to it.

Why dwell on the past.

Posted by OR Matt | April 22, 2008 10:38 AM

I had a feeling that I might be a slut when the number of sex partners I've had required the use of a comma.

Still, since I'm a man whose never been with a girl, I'm technically a virgin.

Posted by montex | April 22, 2008 10:45 AM

This remeinds me of that conversation in Clerks. Is she counting blow jobs? If that is the case, I'm WAY past slut stage!

Posted by Mike in MO | April 22, 2008 10:47 AM

yeah, montex, you're a virgin and I play center field for the Cardinals.

Posted by Mike in MO | April 22, 2008 10:51 AM

@8... do I know you???

Posted by sluttymcslutt | April 22, 2008 11:37 AM


Ooooooh! A sports metaphor. That makes me sooooo hawt! Wanna play ball?

Posted by montex | April 22, 2008 11:43 AM

The average American adult male has had 4-7 sexual partners in their lifetime and the average American adult female has had 2-5 sexual partners in their lifetime.

She's above median, but she's not a slut.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 22, 2008 11:55 AM

Dan, your math and assumptions need a little re-evaluating. Per the website (I didn't have to wade through much of it to get this), she married in 2001. Taking your assumption that she lost her virginity at about 16, adding the assumption that she started dating her now-husband about 2 years before they married (b/c that seems to be the trend), and adding the assumption (since you get to assume, so do I) that she hasn't cheated on her husband, then she slept with 40-odd men between 1986 and 1999, which is only 13 years, not the 21 years you give her for this romp. Sure, that still only puts her at 3-4 per year, but I'm betting that the majority of those were during the 7 years of college and grad school, which puts her closer to 6 a year for a several-year block of time. And, being that I have pretty much the exact same numbers and timeline she does, I can tell you that that does indeed get one a teensy little reputation for being a bit of a slut. I mean, a new/different guy every other month for 7 years does not exactly constitute serial monogamy.

Posted by Casey | April 22, 2008 12:14 PM

Yeah, but even if you think she's a slut, is she really enough of a slut to get TWO BOOKS out of it? I mean, come on. I think she just likes to talk about getting laid.

Posted by Fnarf | April 22, 2008 12:42 PM

hmmm...apparently in all these surveys they take asking people how many sex partners they've had, they don't talk to many gay men...I also think there's a lot of fudging going on, and many people are like Bill Clinton and don't count anything as a sex act unless it's genital to genital penetration...

Posted by michael strangeways | April 22, 2008 1:19 PM

OR another way to make the math make sense if there were more women then men, then OBVIOUSLY men would have more sexual partners than women.

Posted by OR Matt | April 22, 2008 1:21 PM

We need legal definitions, people! Legal definitions!

Posted by Greg | April 22, 2008 2:03 PM

@27 - the average American woman nowadays becomes sexually active in middle school, so she has a lot more years than that, based on an earlier start, thus her conquests per year is still pretty low and definitely not Slut level.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 22, 2008 2:19 PM

elenchos @ 5,

Learning your fuck buddies' names is way over-rated. A wise man once said, "there's no room for relationships, there's just room to hit it."

So very true.

Posted by Original Andrew | April 22, 2008 2:22 PM

Yeah, being a slut is all relative I suppose. It's the admiration/jelousy love/hate relationship to people who just have more sex than you. It fascinates us, and infuriates us at the same time. Loathing something you desire sort of thing.

So in the land of chemistry, if you sleep with more than five people, you are probably a slut ... weird.

Posted by OR Matt | April 23, 2008 8:50 AM

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