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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Courtyard by Marriott: Preferred by Piss Freaks

posted by on April 29 at 16:13 PM

Courtyard by Marriott is developing all sorts of new features for their hotel rooms in a top-secret test guest room, the X-Room, according to today’s New York Times. Among the features being tested out in the X-Room? Waterproof mattresses. Why waterproof mattresses? The New York Times doesn’t say.

The room, set up last November by Courtyard by Marriott in partnership with the University of Delaware in Newark, is a test guest room. It is equipped with everything from waterproof mattresses to the experimental technology of wireless electricity (no plugs) to a specially designed Nintendo Wii game console for travelers. There is also a digital door display that lets people see who is in the corridor….

Marriott is already introducing some of the concepts in its hotels. William Sullivan, managing director of the hotel in Newark, Del., that houses the X-room, says the company has made some interesting findings: “Everyone is interested in the Nintendo Wii. All hotels see that has potential.” A waterproof mattress is also being tried out across a pilot group of hotels while a Marriott in Las Vegas is testing the digital door display….

Wiis, digital door displays, wireless—I can see the applications, I can see the benefits to weary travelers. Heck, the New York Times walks us through the applications and benefits. But what’s up with those waterproof mattress? Later in the story we’re told that researchers have discovered that travelers want, “a place to sit that wasn’t the bed with a surface they could wipe down,” so they’re putting leather-topped ottomans in the X-Room. But the still don’t explain what the hell the waterproof mattresses are for.

They’re not for carrying down to the pool and they’re not floatation devices. About the only time adults—well, most of ‘em anyway—wet the bed is, of course, when they wet the bed on purpose. So… uh…

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So kids never stay in hotel rooms? Many kids are using diapers at night up to the age of 8 or even later.

Posted by NaFun | April 29, 2008 4:27 PM

Dan, my ex-wife used to SERIOUSLY ejaculate when orgasming. A lot. The waterbed at home was pretty easy to towel off (vinyl), but this could be a major problem in hotel rooms.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 29, 2008 4:27 PM

Yeah, Dan ... I suppose you have never gotten a girl really really really wet before (or if you did, it's a repressed memmory I didn't need to bring up). Not necessarily ejaculate as in @2, but really really wet. It's comforting to know that someone else's fun juice hasn't been soaked into the mattress before I got to sleep there.

Posted by OR Matt | April 29, 2008 4:31 PM

Apparently they consulted Steamworks when they committed to this re-design project...

Posted by michael strangeways | April 29, 2008 4:32 PM

Considering Mr. Marriott is a Mormon, I may have to have a rethink about their religion.

Posted by Dave Coffman | April 29, 2008 5:10 PM

fifty-two eight - your "ex-wife used to seriously ejaculate?" did she stop cum-gushing when she stopped being your wife?

Posted by @2 | April 29, 2008 6:29 PM

@2 fifty-two eighty - your "ex-wife *used* to seriously ejaculate when orgasming?" did she stop cum-gushing when she became your ex? just wondering if that's what you meant or if some other unfortunate accident has led to the drying up of her love-geyser.

Posted by justwondering | April 29, 2008 6:37 PM
a digital door display that lets people see who is in the corridor
Umm, do they mean a peephole?
Posted by Julie | April 29, 2008 7:08 PM

no, its got to involve energy consumption.

Posted by maxsolomon@home | April 29, 2008 7:46 PM

it could be to bedbug proof the mattress.

Posted by chris | April 29, 2008 7:49 PM

That's nice. Then we wouldn't have to take the plastic mattress cover with us when we travel.

Posted by Greg | April 29, 2008 8:14 PM

Hmm, hadn't thought about bedbugs, but yeah, that would make a lot of sense too. Oh, and to the dipshit @6 and 7: It would be just fine with me if she dried up.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 29, 2008 8:15 PM

Kids, incontinent adults. Wet women. All possibilities for why they decided on waterproof mattresses.

As to the bedbugs, I'm not sure a waterproof mattress would help. I'd look it up but I'm too lazy.

Posted by PopTart | April 29, 2008 10:12 PM

It's okay- Dan wouldn't know about women like me... ;) What can I say? I live up to my nickname!

Posted by Squirt | April 30, 2008 12:51 AM

What about when Terry SHITS the bed after a particularly heinous night of romping, Smirnoff and eating 3 baconators at Wendy's?

Someone has to clean up that mess. It's ok to send in some underpaid and exploited immigrant? Are you gonna send YOUR kid in to clean up diseased shit, piss, blood, cum and puke off a fabric mattress?

Remember, that maid is someones daughter.

Posted by ecce homo | April 30, 2008 1:01 AM

The first rule about Pi.. Club is nobody talks about Pi.. Club.

Actually, if you go down on a woman for half an hour, it's not unusual to totally soak the bed.

At least, if you do it right.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 30, 2008 1:02 AM

man, all that handwringing about wii == wee when they announced the name of the console, and no takers when there's an opportunity...

Posted by skye | April 30, 2008 1:49 AM

Some people wet the bed when they are totally wasted drunk.

Others like to pee on each other.

As far as the comments about the women who cum everywhere, that seriously ruined breakfast, thanks!

Posted by Sammy | April 30, 2008 8:42 AM


Posted by Vince | April 30, 2008 9:00 AM

Will's givin' cunnilingus lessons! Everybody gather 'round!

Posted by Fnarf | April 30, 2008 9:31 AM

Fnarf's unnecessarily takin' digs at a harmless Will in Seattle! Everybody gather 'round!

(Seriously though, how was that a lesson? He was just sayin')

Posted by w7ngman | April 30, 2008 10:04 AM

@21 ... I like the Savage love post on cunnilingus. The one he posted TWICE. With the contradicting letters.


Posted by OR Matt | April 30, 2008 10:58 AM

What about food play? Whipped cream gets really messy when it starts to melt - which it does pretty quickly. Champagne soaks into the mattress pretty quickly, and then the whole place smells like Pioneer Square. Chocolate. Melted wax. All these things could potentially ruin a mattress. I'm just sayin...

Posted by Geni | April 30, 2008 11:41 AM

A waterproof mattress could be washed by the housekeeping staff, which would be wonderful. One of the ickiest things about travel is sleeping on matresses that have been previoulsy slept on by all of the above.

Posted by inkweary | April 30, 2008 11:58 AM

@17 - I know! right!?!

in general - is anyone else a little creeped out by wireless electricity? I mean, I'm not supposed to get my hair dryer cord near the tub.... but what if the cord is EVERYWHERE?!?

p.s. - the styles for your error codes on this submission form are a little f'd up.

Posted by pain | April 30, 2008 12:14 PM

I could also imagine waterproof being nice if you drink red wine in bed.

Posted by sasha | April 30, 2008 2:55 PM

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