Solution: Replace the white band-aids with band-aids that look like bacon.
Those band-aids don't match white skin either. Buy yourself a brown Crayola marker and color it yourself, or better yet, you can airbrush it with an exact skin-tone match. Otherwise you're going to have to buy high-yellow band-aids, North African band-aids, Central American band-aids, Southeast Asian band-aids, Mongolian band-aids, etc.
What about really tan white people? They just wanna love the sun.
I like LRRH's idea, too...Dora the Explora band-aids for all!
if you all would shut up and start fucking each other faster, we'd all be gray before you know it. but those white band-aids still won't match i guess.
Those are pretty boring Band-Aids for Seattle's edgiest alt-weekly. I bet Savage's kid doesn't use those at home.
Ha! Charles, you gave me my best laugh of the day. Thanks for the post! Hiiii-larious! Please more humor posts from you. :-)
If your goal is to find a bandaid that matches every possible skin tone, it won't happen. I use "Finding Nemo", "Superman" or Crayola, mostly depending on the accident and my mood.
I was going to ask what color Band-Aids are in Zimbabwe, but then I realized that a box would cost about $500,000,000, so I bet no-one even knows the answer to that question.
I pretty much buy glow-in-the-dark band-aids exclusively. scooby doo, harry potter, whatevs... as long as it glows.
Superglue. Works the best at sealing wounds. And by the time it's worn off then it's healed.
It would appear the message is that black people cant afford band aids?
It doesn't sound like you have every actually looked for mud race colored band aids, cause they don't exist. The movement is toward clear, neon or bacon.
Although I actually prefer my self-created duct tape bandaids the most. It's cheap! It's sticky! It's waterproof! It matches no one! You can graffiti on it and be all hipster.
You're lucky you found any band aids at all, Charles.
Last time I looked we didn't have any.
And why only ibuprofen and not any aspirin?
just buy some of those clear band aids and quit your damn whining!
You should go buy a box of natural color bandaids and replace the ones at the office with them.
I prefer the Hello Kitty ones, myself.
Apex hides the hurt.
(I bet only Paul Constant gets that).
I vote Strawberry Shortcake bandaids!
Like #2 said, they stand out almost as much on most white skin. But I've heard this before, and you're right, it sticks out pretty bad. If it really bugs you, there's a whole niche of alternatives:
But really, in most cases wearing a plastic bandage is an act unto itself - either you're covering a quite serious battle scar, and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of, OR, you're a big baby that's afraid of germs or WORSE, scars, in which case your lack of stoutheartedness should be announced in such a way.
who let's Mudede post so much? For the record, you are wearing a clear bandaid...the strips outside the gauze do match your skin....gauze is made white because it saves you money because they don't have to dye it. And white doesn't match peach colored flesh either...unless you are Dita Von Teese. so kwitcherbitchin and buy some spongebob glow in the dark band-aids with jelly fish on them
cf. Oliver Wendell Jones, ca. 1985
Uh correction hunter @ 21... gauze, like paper, in it's natural form would be somewhere between gray and tan, depending on the type of fiber used to create it. In order to make it white, it has to be bleached.
You can get black band-aids at Archie McPhee's. They are decorated with a skull-and-crossbones motif, but my kids love 'em. Adults may want to try these. "Conceal as you heal." It really doesn't get any better than that.
New skin. It's clear.
Stranger office manager, you know what to do.
Just go to the damn drug store and look for the "Ethnic" band-aids. They're very prominently displayed in the aisle marked FOR COLOREDS. You'll need a time machine, though. I'd ObjectiFax it over to you, but you are probably still physically in 2008, where ObjectiFax has yet to be invented.
What @20 said. For the record, I don't think I even own a box of Band-Aids, and I'm around knives a lot and cut myself quite regularly.
@ 18 totally beat me to it.
Phred Meijer, #18 -
What, you think Constant is the only one who reads around here?
Probably pretty correct.
I seem to recall that Outland or some other comic strip had a series of pretty funny digs on "flesh" colored band-aids and crayons etc.
Colson Whitehead wrote a whole book about that. "Apex Hides the Hurt."
@18 I got it. High five to me.
Charles, I know exactly how you feel. I have freckles and no bandaids EVER have freckles, I feel alienated and persecuted because of it.
Oliver Wendell Holmes is rolling over in his grave.
Obama should promise to send all us non-whiteys appropriate colored bandaids!!!
Oh for god's sake, Chuck. Draw a little clock face on the pad and pretend it's a Rolex.
@23 is right.
Freckles bandaids - I think some of the Strawberry Shortcakes bandaids have freckles.
Charles, looks like you need a triple-dip, those can be hard to find
i prefer electrical tape.
At first I was somewhat sympathetic w/ chuck's point, one I'm familiar with.
but then... THE GODDAMN BANDAID IS CLEAR!
Jesus. There is no shortage of racial shit to point out in every day life, White bandaids, not being the least of these, so if you're going to pitch bitch about it, make sure it's a WHITE FUCKING BANDAID!
I'm pigment challenged and melanin deficient so bandages don't come in my skin color either; they're always too dark. So I buy ones with Curious George on them.
I've been complaining about shit like this for years at my work. Believe me, it's just easier to change to white.
They pay you??
Angry Racial Star Wars Screed transfered to Self Adhesive Plastic Bandages.
If we know a kid is going to be ginger, shouldn't we do the right thing and kill it? Just sayin'. Sorry Katelyn, but freckles really gotta go.
Nice arm Mudede! I'm weird but that is the first thought that popped into my head.
I agree with @47. That arm is sexy.
at least you can wear band-aids
I'm allergic to the adhesives
have to leave my cuts exposed
Yeah, it's a clear band-aid. Okay, so the gauze is bleached, but no one would buy the things if the gauze was natural grayish-tan. That's why you never see grayish-tan toilet paper except in places that can pay five times as much for that all-natural Seventh Generation stuff. I guess you can make a legitimate complaint that everyone associates "white" with "sanitary" if you really wanted to. But then someone might call the guys with the ought-to-be-grayish-tan coats on you.
From the looks of it, that IS a clear Band-Aid; his skin seems to show through the adhesive parts, it's just the absorbent cotton padding in the center that's causing his tizzy-fit.
Which means I suppose that, until Science develops genetically-modified cotton that comes in a range of skin-tones, wearing cotton must now be considered akin to promoting racism.
It's Chaz, after all, who the hell KNOWS what he's talking about. I bet half the time even HE doesn't.
What about black Albinos, clear would be apropo, no?
PS That is tote a clear b-aid Charles.
Band-aids are not meant to match any skin tone, but are intended to cover a small skin abrasion, cut, or the like. For fashion statement band-aids one must go to Paris or London.
@53 - no, look in the kid's aisle.
I don't agree that band-aids are not meant to match any specific skin tone. Unless you buy clear, neon, or cartoon band-aids, the colour of the band-aid is going to be a light or darkish peach. Kind of like the peach "flesh colour" crayon in the box - the only crayon labeled "flesh colour" (I have to admit I haven't looked in a box of crayons for years, but I imagine they've got around to fixing that??). I cut my hand last week and went to get a band-aid and for some reason it occurred to me for the first time in my life that these band-aids were designed for my skin and my skin only. If not, why peach as the predominant colour? Why not maroon, or forest green? Come on.
Also: do they make band-aids for darker skinned people? I've never seen them in the pharmacy.
everyone has forgotten the plight of wounded hirsute folks of every color. there are no "hair" band-aids.
@50 - Greyish-tan toilet paper is a blind world without braile when you're working the greyish-tan crayon (read: A dozen oyster tacos, 16 hours of elapsed time, and a mug of french roast drip).
In our radical, X-treme marketing era, isn't it time for a GNARLY Band Aid? Something that looks like a worse wound than you actually have underneath it? That'd be kewl.
For crying out loud, why on earth should an employer have to get BAND-AID (R) brand adhesive bandages that match all its employees' skin tones? The Stranger should just get rainbow colored adhesive bandages, and then you can pick your favorite color of the rainbow.
@58 i have had ninja band-aids at one point
Next time just lay down a bead of superglue.
And why only ibuprofen and not any aspirin?
From a first-aid sort of perspective, I think ibuprofen is anti-inflammatory, so it would be a lot more useful than aspirin for say, a sprained ankle. Anti-inflammatories help with the pain and take down some of the swelling as well.
I tend to go for pirate/ninja bandaids when I can get them. When I need something that actually stays on, I recommend those tough strip things - they'll stay on through anything. They're great if you work outside and need to keep sawdust/mulch/plants out of your cuts.
@49 - try a product called Tegaderm - 3M makes it. It is a clear film that does not use traditional adhesives. If I absolutely have to have a wound covered, it's the only thing I can use.
To the PANTONE SET!
Referral number three to Colson Whitehead's book.
We stock electric blue band-aids at my restaurant so you can find them easily if they fall off into your spaghetti.
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).