Comments on Hummers: Illegal on City Streets

Hah hah! Damn Hummers taking up two-three car parking spots!! Suck it!! (I wish we had this law in LA.)

Awesome.

Time to report a few, eh sloggers?

Any lawyers out there know if WA has a citizen initiated ticketing process like Orygone? This could be fun.

“the intent of this code is more for commercial vehicles like an 18-wheeler rather than an automobile,”

Well, purchasers of these beasts have no problem taking advantage of the tax deduction and that was intended for commercial vehicles too.

SWEET!

Say goodbye, Mr. Hummer Owner on Francis Ave N!

Does this apply for all models, including the H3?

Is this for all hummers, just the original, the H2, the H3?

On another note, how far away from the curb is that Hummer?! What's the law on that?! 8"?

i just drag my key along the side facing the sidewalk. try it kids, works great!

That would only apply to the H1, which is rare.

Does Mark Driscoll drive a Hummer? Please tell me he does!!!!

@8 you have to park within a foot from the curb. Got that one wrong on my driver's test.

The H2s are 80.2 inches.

The statute was written in the 1970s, before the rise of SUVs in the 80s, so obviously it should be updated instead of everyone having spiteful, masturbatory dreams of getting these things towed.

The statute, even more specifically, says it applies to "trucks" which again is a term that in the year 2008 should not apply to SUVs.

If the cute girl with the Ron Paul RV is reading this thread: Please stop covering most of the width of the sidewalk with the end of your RV.

I just put that number in my phone! So excited to bust hummers!

I think we just found ECB's avatar.

So how again is a Hummer, which is the object of so much scorn, worse than an Escalade or a Yukon, which somehow isn't? Or a 1961 Bonneville, which gets worse mileage and spews 100 times the hydrocarbon, but is regarded with awe and admiration by all?

I know it's ostentatious and crass, but a single leafblower causes more ecological harm than any Hummer.

fnarf, based on what metric does a leaf blower cause more ecological damage? per usage? over the course of the life?

Fnarf, you're a fucking bore. I'd rather laugh with the sinners then cry with the saints.

fnarf, i think the hummer issue is about the symbol. as a symbol the hummer is perfect. it's not a vintage car (when we didn't know better), it's still in production. it's not some guy working in the cold at a job we wouldn't want ourselves. it's someone with money, who should know better, and could make a better decision. it's flashy and big. what makes it popular is what makes it such a strong symbol. in the same way mcdondalds gets the brunt of the fast food criticisms... (also, i was wondering about those leaf blower metrics as well.)

Fnarf, silly you. You forgot that Hummer owners tend to be more "Middle America", and we, as superior, more intelligent urban dwellers, have every right to condescend to them. Don't worry about the folks in Queene Anne, Madronna, etc., driving M63 AMG's, S4's, and other expensive German cars with huge engines that get as bad or worse mileage. They make up for it with tons of guilt and Obama stickers, so it's OK.

Wait, they don't enforce this law but they'll tow my car from in front of my house if they think it's been there more than 72 hours?!?!?

Wow. Selective and regressive enforcement. You win SPD. You win.

Is that Hummer worse for the environment than all that meat you eat?

the SPD officer who took my very small and fuel efficient stolen vehicle report this morning was very nice.

if anyone decides to wander around look for hummers to report to the police, let them know if you happen to see this little car somewhere.

I wonder how many of the smug folks on here own cars, and don't carpool, and take discretionary car/airplane trips, etc.? You all should be kissing that Hummer's ass -- if it weren't for cars like that, you might have to take a hard look at your own lifestyle. Instead you don't have to do anything and you get to feel superior and "green" simply because you don't own one of those Hummers.

Bellevue Ave, look up the emissions performance of two-stroke engines and get back to me.

Infrequent, I get you, but what about the Escalade and Expedition? Just as ostentatious, just as symbolic. So what is it?

I think it's the pseudo-military aspect. Hummer drivers are virtual soldiers, in their own minds, whereas Yukon drivers are frustrated explorers.

@18 would 500 extra dead pedestrians be enough extra badness for you, fnarf?

http://tinyurl.com/yw6vk3

[If you take the numbers in the study and apply them to 2002 you get something like 500 extra dead peds. Presumably that's the cost of some many light trucks every year...]

ECB, your whining is getting so old. Why don't you get a real job and earn enough money to move to Bellevue and spurt out a couple of rug rats. Then maybe you'll gain some perspective on life!

Fnarf must have an H3.

Too bad, so sad. Gonna fly like an eagle, to the pound ...

So we're supposed to tax our underwhelming and overtaxed city police force with calls about vehicles that are 2 inches over the width limit? Seriously?

They used Schwarzenegger as a symbol when they delivered the first one, that alone put them in a different class. As far as I can remember, they were the first truck really marketed to people who were definitely not going to use it for anything they were built for. Yeah, Willy's and Scouts and even Surburbans were pushed towards the common household but people actually used those types of vehicles and the like for getting around tough spots, like farm driveways. And they were definitely not sexy. And back then, those trucks were getting not much worse gas mileage then your typical passenger car.

#32 - Parking enforcement ≠ police.

Really, all this does seem a little smug and silly, but in all fairness, it's image that's the selling point for these more-destructive-than-necessary vehicles, so image backlash should come as no surprise.

Oops, I meant #31.

#31, yes! Of course, they won't respond, but it's being a righteous pseudo-environmentalist that counts.

Fnarf is partly right. Strictly speaking, a Hummer H2 is no worse than a Suburban or Escalade or any other large SUV. The H3 is no worse than many large cars. The H1, which truly was a horrendous beast, really only sold in very small numbers, and no longer in production (they stopped production 2 or 3 years ago).

Still, nobody buys Hummers for logical reasons. They are almost entirely symbolic. And as a symbol, the very sight of them makes my blood boil. They raise my ire much more than seeing other large SUVs, even though I logically know they are no worse. Key them all you want.

Based on a couple internet searches, this would apply to H1 and H2 at least.

If "width" is defined to include mirrors, the H3 would be covered (95 inches). I'm guessing it doesn't.

Interestingly, the law also seemingly applies to most (if not all) dual-rear wheeled full-size pickups. (The flared fenders push 90".)

@36 My favorite part of seeing a Hummer is that invariably an extremely short person climbs out from behind the wheel.

Hummers irritate me because they are pseudo military, if you want to really make a statement get the authentic damn military vehicle already (it'll be useful in the coming urban wars anyway.)

@36 - my fave is the ads for the new hybrid SUVs that get 17 mpg.

I mean, seriously, my car gets more than twice that in mpg ... get real.

Yes, Hummers are irritating, but this is mostly symbolism, which is why I wish do-good libs (and I'm on your team) would be aware of the details. So here I go with the details.

Real Humvees are HUGE. If you ever see one on the public highways or city streets, you'll be shocked. It's rare to see one. If you do, it would probably be a National Guard unit in a convoy to somewhere. Seeing one on the roads that was produced for the civilian market, even rarer. They're just a pain in the arse to drive, they're so huge. (In fact, in 2001, the DoD started scratching its head about these things, they won't fit on the bridges in Eastern Europe, and as for the goat paths of the -stan nations, there's a reason the Toyota pickup truck is the norm there.)

The real Humvee is also known as H1. (There'll be a quiz later.) And yes, they suck gas like a MF. But like Ferraris, people who own these really don't actually drive them that much, so their actual impact on global fuel consumption is fairy small. (Er, I'm talking civlian versions, not the DoD's which arevery busy patrolling in Iraq.)

After GM bought the company and made them part of their stable of doomed brands (heh heh), they got to work on adapting one of their normal ol' truck lines to look all Hummerish. This is the one that came out a few years ago and looked so huge. It is the H2.

It's really not that huge. It's the same platform as the Chevy Tahoe/GMC Yukon. Yeah, theyr'e big, too, but there's a ZILLION of them around and nobody's giving them the finger (well, except in Seattle, heh heh.) What makes the H2 look so danged big is the verticality of it. Every corner in the air is full. No slope, no rounded corners. It seems to occupy more space. But really, a lot of the basic stuff under all that skin there is just your average - and not even as big as the ever-popular Suburban, I betcha - large SUV of truckish genes. Just some better off-roadish machinery that virutally no one uses.

Now, the H3, which is what's shown in this picture, isn't even all that big! Yes, it's not a cute ute a la Honda CR-V. But it's based on the "mid sized" GM pickup truck chassis - Colorado/Canyon -- which I must point out, doesn't seem to sell all that well, because so much of Amurrica has hard on for the 1/2 ton and larger pickups, which are... bigger. Now, if you were to show a European or anybody else the "mid sized" pickup truck lines in America, they'd shit. And shit again when you told them that they don't sell all that well, because the BIG ones are so much more popular (and manly.) The big ones are considered normal.

Most H3's sold have V-6's, BTW. Eventually they plugged in a V-8, probably to increase sales. This is not necessarily the bunny-ass-raping enviro destructo machine it's perceived to be. No worse, and of course, no better than, a Dodge Durango or Ford Explorer.

Now for some numbers to back up my opinionatin':

H1, the real Humvee: wheelbase, 130" length 184" width 86.5" weight - er, mammoth. 10,000 lbs. isn't unheard of in military trim. But civilian versions don't have turrets ... yet.

H2, the first gaudy thing that came out several years ago: wheelbase 122", length 189", width 81.2", curb weight 6,400 lbs.

H3, the one in the picture, which looks a whole lot like H2, wheelbase 111.9", length, 186.7", width, 74.7" - i.e., legal for Seattle parking overnight, curb weight, 4,700 lbs.

BTW, Honday Odyssey minivans can be well over 4,000 bs. and can get oh, 14 mpg city in real world use. Oink.

So, am I saying the Hummers don't deserve the flip o' the bird? No. But please get busy flipping bird at the other 1,000 SUV's just as big as it, if you must. Not that these people care. I wish giving people the finger would change the world, because so many folks deserve it. Like people who post huge-ass comments to blogs...

Nothing a gas tax wouldn't solve... or, current gas prices. Rich people will still continue to be rich and have toys, but most folks will change their behavior eventually, and the overall consumption rate just might go down.

BTW, I'm living deep in Red State Jebusland, where the F-350 Crewcab Superduty Turbodiesels are all over the friggin' place, being driven to work or to the store for a quart of milk. These things dwarf H3's ... and H2's any day.

So, please don't be distracted by the styling. I suspect the aerodynamics are lousy and that the hwy mpg for both H2 & H3 are not... quite... what they could be... but all the other large SUV's are boxes, too, just not as crisply drawn, and their hwy mpg is never going to impress, either. Mass, frontal area, and shape. They've got problems with all three.

Yeah, it's gaudy and it attracts a certain kind of person that we'd all like to point and snicker at, but for every one of them, there's a dozen or three dozen other 6,000 lb. pigmobile truck-based SUV's out there that people are referring to as "the car."

Before buying your next car (or burning someone else's to the ground), please consult fueleconomy.gov. They've got ratings for every car sold in the U.S. since the EPA started measuring mpg.

Now if you own and H1 and burn biodiesel made from an Indonenisan palm oil plantation that pays its workers a bounty for shooting trespassing orangutans, you go to hell!

Even under the revised (massively downward) EPA ratings, Will? Not many 34 MPG cars out there, surprisingly.

Here's a complete list (city mileage): Toyota Prius (48), Honda Civic Hybrid (40), Nissan Altima Hybrid (35), Ford Escape Hybrid 4WD (34), Mazda Tribute Hybrid 4WD (34), Mercury Mariner Hybrid 4WD (34), Toyota Camry Hybrid (33). Hybrids all. Three are SUVs. There are ZERO regular 2008 cars that get 34 MPG in the city, not even the Smart Car.

In fact, I notice that one again you are talking out of your ass. There is NO SUCH THING as a 17 MPG hybrid SUV. The worst they get is 20 MPG (Tahoe Hybrid 4WD, Yukon Hybrid 4WD).

I drive a fairly pathetic '96 Toyota Tercel, not an Hummer, but, ironically, YOU are the dickhead.

CP's enormous... comment! is my new favorite commenter.

Of course, all those SUVs' emissions don't add up to the same damage done by cow and pig farts. But Humvees are a popular hipster target, so they're safe, right? God forbid you give up bacon.

Again, you hippies are why the Islamoterrorists are gonna aim their zodiac invasion rafts for Seattle first. Just the idea of you little hippie A-holes flipping off Hummers and whippin open your cells to TELL ON THEM to the police just cracks me up. God, there is nothing like this post to make me continue to deeply miss the meth addled rusty pickup driving yokels of my recently departed hometown of Spokane.

I bet when your moms and dads come pick you up on Sundays for dinner and a chance to do your laundry they pick you up in SUVS. You slink down in the seat hide behind your sunglasses (which are quite the accroutement for a city where the sun never actually comes out) and hope your SUV parking narking friends don't see you.

I'll make sure to run my KTM motocross bike a bit on the rich side just for you weenies.

"I CAUGHT A HUMMER MAN, SERIOUSLY. YEAH, I'M CALLING THE COPS RIGHT NOW."

18. Well then, Fnarf, you can call the cops on them too.

You're trying too hard, Bob.

If you can afford to lay out the cash for the vehicle and to fill the gas tank once a day, how the hell can you not afford a frikin' garage space for your land yacht?

@46 - Actually I'm not trying at all, but I'll ease up. I'm keeping the zodiac invasion rafts full of Islamoterrorist invaders as a device to deride and mock Seattle hippies whining about all sorts of stupid assed things, though.

I have a garage, but if I tried to get an H1 in it my house would fall down.

hey fnark does your humvee make it in between the lines on the aurora bridge?

Bob, you are pretty harsh ... besides, I think terrorists are probably on the war path for more "symbolic" targets than the space needle (maybe they were just as offended by sleepless in seattle as I was). Like, the world trade center, the pentagon, MGM grand, the super bowl, your corn sylo.

Hey, bobcat, I don't have a Hummer, alright? What a fucking shithead.