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Sunday, April 6, 2008

Charlton Heston…

posted by on April 6 at 5:06 AM

…is dead.

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Maybe now I can get his gun.

Posted by snarky | April 6, 2008 5:26 AM

Moses enormous penis!!!

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle's Enormous Penis | April 6, 2008 5:33 AM

hunky beauty in his day - some good roles - horrid politics in his later years

too bad, his gun crap clouds his legacy - Rest in Peace

Posted by John | April 6, 2008 6:16 AM

He had huge problems with primates that looked different than him. He was an evil man. I hope all the angels he sees in heaven are jumping up and down beating on their chests and throwing their feces at him.

Posted by Bob | April 6, 2008 6:59 AM

They took his life from his cold dead hands!!

Posted by Andrew | April 6, 2008 7:09 AM

Wasn't he the gay one? Or was it that other guy?

Posted by blarney | April 6, 2008 7:36 AM

The other guy.

Posted by catnextdoor | April 6, 2008 7:45 AM

We were just talking about our dead pool picks last week and he was my #1.

Posted by Julie | April 6, 2008 8:15 AM


well..... honestly, several of the other ones

Posted by John | April 6, 2008 8:21 AM

Ah, so if my Solyent Green tastes a little like gunpowder this week, I'll know why...

Posted by J. Whorfin | April 6, 2008 8:23 AM

My #1 pick was the Queen, but I'm beginning to think she's going to fucking live forever.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 6, 2008 9:16 AM


We all know #6 is thinking of someone obvious (and already dead) like Rock Hudson. But yeah, from THAT era, I would be willing to bet 80% of those silver screen actors are homos.

Posted by catnextdoor | April 6, 2008 9:37 AM

@11 -- Shame on you. What an awful ejaculation.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | April 6, 2008 9:42 AM

It was funny. The Q is going to live forever, or at least long enough to keep her eldest son off the throne. But the day she does kick it, I will laugh.

Heston was a terrible actor, the worst of his generation. I'm glad he's dead.

Posted by Fnarf | April 6, 2008 11:28 AM

yeah, he was a stiff as actors go. i will refrain from "tasteless" references about him being a true stiff now...ooops.

Posted by ellarosa | April 6, 2008 11:38 AM

I think Jube just has a thing for the word "ejaculation."

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 6, 2008 11:39 AM

@14 -- I only hope you have fulfilled any commitment you made to others as faithfully as HM has fulfilled hers to the Commonwealth. Laugh at her death all you want, but don't confuse your disdain for anything approaching a common reaction. But then, being contrarian makes you a stud, I forgot...

@16 -- I like many words.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | April 6, 2008 11:46 AM


Your last comment demonstrates just what a pathetic human being you are capable of being.

Wishing and finding joy in the death of another simply because he was as you say a "terrible actor" defines you.

You sir, have a dark and empty soul. Not in a cool sort of gothic way. More like a septic tank.

Doesn't Nancy go to church on Sundays?

Posted by ecce homo | April 6, 2008 11:59 AM

i love the way ecce takes on a mantle of pompous gravitas when upbraiding his enemies for vulgarity or heartlessness, but will throw out the crudest and cruelest insults at erica and others with little or no provocation.

Posted by ellarosa | April 6, 2008 12:09 PM

Food fight!

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 6, 2008 12:22 PM

fnarf, you made me laugh in the middle of the quiet library.

Posted by helix | April 6, 2008 1:27 PM

Yeah, Fnarf, but his stiffness was perfect for the Mr. Jones roles in the sci-fi movies he did in the early 70s. Shame he went nuts toward the end.

Posted by Grant Cogswell | April 6, 2008 1:45 PM

With everything i have heard/re-heard about CH today, the only thing that aroused any sentiment in me whatsoever was reading that he had been married to his wife for sixty-four years. I thought, "gee, that's nice". The dude was old-school, but he did nice things for black people (who weren't Ice-T) and managed not to be a miserable wretch.

Posted by el | April 6, 2008 1:56 PM

@23 except he campaigned against affirmative action, not exactly super nice to blacks towards the end.

Posted by vooodooo84 | April 6, 2008 2:17 PM

Déjà vu. I could have sworn they had it on the news a couple of weeks ago Heston died. While traveling at the speed of light last month, my space ship must have encountered a time dilation.

As for Chuck's politics, I prefer to blame his republican leanings on his Alzheimer's. Mental illness/defects are the only explanation I can come up with for voting republican.

Posted by Y.F. | April 6, 2008 2:20 PM

Go ahead an laugh at the Queen when she goes, Fnarf, but God save her, she didn't choose her role. And while I scorn much of the tradition she symbolizes, I am well aware that if it weren't for that tradition, I wouldn't have the luxury of such hypocrisy. I will treat her death with gravitas when it comes.

Heston I don't give a second thought to. He can blow away with the dust.

Posted by Irena | April 6, 2008 2:25 PM

@24 lots of people are against affirmative action. and a lot of people don't think it's a "race" thing, but a shitty solution to a shittier problem. funny, my (white) dad got into Howard University on account of affirmative action.

@26 don't end that sentence with a preposition! (sorry)

Posted by el | April 6, 2008 2:33 PM

@27, while I'm usually a stickler for proper grammar, I generally ignore the preposition rule because it's so inconsistent and outdated. In fact, I think it be done away with. Don't you agree?

Posted by Irena | April 6, 2008 3:07 PM

Favorite movie quotes ever:

"God daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn yooooooooou! God damn you all to hell!"

(First runner up: "Get your hands off me, you damned dirty ape!")

Posted by Andy Niable | April 6, 2008 4:04 PM

There is not and never has been any kind of a rule about ending sentences with prepositions.

Posted by Fnarf | April 6, 2008 4:10 PM

@28, 30 and back to 28.

I'm not advocating for a return to stuffy sentences like "I'm sorry, with whom did you have lunch?", but i do think there is a general rule (read: most style guides support) about not using more words than you need (e.g., where is it? vs. where is it at?). Regardless of whether or not there are other official "rules" (read: generally accepted standards by a group of people perhaps consisting of no more than a few of my close friends), in my humblest of humble opinions the sentence would have been a lot smoother if you had just switched it around.

Posted by el | April 6, 2008 5:43 PM


Okay, while I fully intend to cop Fnarf's uncompromising response to the preposition "rule", on looking back at my sentence, I admit I agree with you. My inner stickler tells me I was being lazy. So let's stick it to the old man one more time:

To Heston, I don't give a second thought. He can blow away with the dust.

Posted by Irena | April 6, 2008 6:59 PM

the prepositions prescription was invented by oxford dons who wanted english to have the same grammatical structure as latin. it is not valid, nor does it make for graceful sentences, imo. english is not latin, ad never has been, despite all the cognates.

Posted by ellarosa | April 6, 2008 7:49 PM

As long as we're talking about prescriptions, I could use some Valium right about now.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 6, 2008 8:16 PM

I blame Mathias, those damn dirty apes, and of course peeeepuuuuul.

I really liked the guy. I think modern American actors are namby-pambies in comparison. He was never afraid to vocalize his public opinions and stood by every one of them. Most people don't know he picketed segregated restaurants in the 1960s and marched with Martin Luther King.

I like to remember him for the everlasting bleak outlook he has left as a permanent scar on my inner psyche playing roles in the apocalyptic thrillers "Soylent Green", "Omega Man" and "Planet Of The Apes". If you haven't seen all three in one sitting, I highly recommend renting the Royal Heston Trilogy and having yourself a little "Hest Fest" this week. Everything you ever wanted to know about the meaning of life, the meaning of death, global warming, Communism, biological experiments and warfare, racism, and post-apocalyptic fashion are revealed in these three films.

Posted by thevicfox | April 6, 2008 9:06 PM

5280@34 try Klonopin. Its' less addictive, easier to get and just takes a smidgeon.

Posted by morpheus | April 7, 2008 5:26 AM

The man was a freak but Earthquake, Soylent Green, and The Omega Man are fun movies to watch.

Posted by monkey | April 7, 2008 7:19 AM

dead pool pick locally has to be

ex Gov. Albert Rosellini

Posted by jeff | April 7, 2008 7:51 AM

I keep hearing about this First amendment. What is it?: 'Thou shalt always be ready to kill!'? It certainly seems to trigger a holy reverence amongst the not-so-bright.

Modern cinema had largely obsoleted Heston; only Harry Potter nowadays suffers as fatuously as Heston characters did. In the NRA Heston found a perfect stage for the overacting and fulminating that was his trademark. There is balance here, worthy of Hollywood: Heston suffered in his movies and then later made other folk suffer with his NRA nonsense. What a great ham!

Posted by Nabi | April 7, 2008 1:52 PM

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