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Thursday, April 17, 2008

After We Ban Plastic Shopping Bags…

posted by on April 17 at 13:30 PM

hairyplasticball.jpg

…can we please ban the freaky-ass hairy plastic balls—made in China, from God only knows what—sitting on the floor at Walgreens?

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1

But they are so sexy...

Posted by SDizzle | April 17, 2008 1:55 PM
2

Those make your hands stink.

Posted by Dougsf | April 17, 2008 1:58 PM
3

NO! Dan, dude, hear me out.

Those things are fucking awesome. I love investing in stupid, 99.9% useless shit. Do you know how fun those are to play with?! (For a minute or two.)

Anyway, they're adorable and loads of fun, and anyone who disagrees is an asshole.

And yes, I am a HUGE rubber chicken fan.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 17, 2008 1:59 PM
4

You should see my Boxing Nun!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 17, 2008 2:01 PM
5

My 4-year-old niece would be crushed.

Posted by Mike O'Neill | April 17, 2008 2:09 PM
6

i'm sick of this new "plastics hate." wow, the environmant is important all of a sudden. like it's 1991 all over again.

plastics are the future man. f you all.

Posted by cochise. | April 17, 2008 2:12 PM
7

That's not a plastic ball, that's an alien coccoon waiting for some unsuspecting child to take it home where it can hatch and take control of the child's mind. It will force the child to convince his/her friends to buy "plastic balls", thereby guaranteeing the complete take over of the human race by the aliens.

Obviously Mr. Poe is already in their power...

Posted by PopTart | April 17, 2008 2:16 PM
8

@5 - By the banning of them? Or by the balls themselves?

Posted by Wowza | April 17, 2008 2:20 PM
9

That kind of looks like a koosh ball. I loved those. What ever happened to them?

Posted by arduous | April 17, 2008 2:23 PM
10

Every time the Stranger gets self-righteous about plastic, I'm gonna flush a gallon of paint thinner down the toilet.

And it's all gonna be your fault.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 17, 2008 2:26 PM
11

@10,

It would be far more efficient if you dumped it in a storm drain.

Posted by keshmeshi | April 17, 2008 2:28 PM
12

Something tells me that the toxic toys bill that passed in Olympia this year may deal with weird-ass crap like this. Of course, who knows what bizarre, advanced bio-poly-cyber-modified-genetic space age materials comprise stuff like this?

Posted by Murgen | April 17, 2008 2:32 PM
13

As my dad always says, "It's freaky-assed."

Posted by Meagan | April 17, 2008 2:35 PM
14

For every plastic Tribble that you can see, there are 150 that are still hiding.

Posted by mmbb | April 17, 2008 2:35 PM
15

Poe, want to battle your boxing nun to the death against my boxing alien?

Posted by w7ngman | April 17, 2008 2:44 PM
16

@15

Let's do it!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 17, 2008 2:55 PM
17

In all seriousness, plastic *is* pretty awesome. It's used for some pretty rad shit like spaceships and Saturn vehicles.

The problem is that we've had the tendency to use it for things that are meant to be thrown away, or things that are likely to just end up floating in an ocean, breaking down into individual plastic molecules and getting into our food supply.

Posted by w7ngman | April 17, 2008 2:56 PM
18

I'm OK with shit floating in the ocean. I'm bored with all the sealife we know about, anyway. Fuckin' bitches!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 17, 2008 3:04 PM
19

@8, LOL!

Posted by Mike O'Neill | April 17, 2008 3:07 PM
20

#16, I'll have to dig it up. I might have sent it on it's way to float in the ocean during one of my recent moves.

Posted by w7ngman | April 17, 2008 3:09 PM
21

That's my testicle. I thought I left it somewhere.

Posted by Fnarf | April 17, 2008 3:17 PM
22

Ban all of those talking figures things Walgreens has at any given time. The chortling Santa, the screaming skull, etc. The Bob Hope doll put me over the top.

Posted by california raisin | April 17, 2008 3:47 PM
23

@11:

My preferred method is to dump it directly into a salmon-spawning stream - while they're spawning.

Posted by COMTE | April 17, 2008 4:02 PM
24

Koosh! I love 'em!

Posted by David Wright | April 17, 2008 4:20 PM
25

wouldn't it be simpler to ban Walgreens?

Posted by michael strangeways | April 17, 2008 4:23 PM
26

You'd like them a lot more if you had a touch of the asperger's.

Posted by bronkitis | April 17, 2008 6:13 PM
27

yes please, ban the stupid things. I work there and I'm sick of picking up after your damned kids all fucking day long.

Posted by beelzebufo | April 19, 2008 12:13 AM

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