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Friday, April 18, 2008

A Compelling Reason For Trains

posted by on April 18 at 11:45 AM

Subway Crush, which operates like an I Saw U and an I, Anonymous for the New York Subway system:

am rarely on the shuttle train since it just runs between two horrible place….BUT….BUTT! Girl with the tight tights on around noon…I wrote a poem about your butt, here it goes:

I would like to play golf with your butt,
With my club I will putt.
I would like to eat with your butt,
Lets go to Pizza Hut.

and

Friday night: You thought it was a good idea to smoke a philly blunt on the L train from Bedford Ave to 8th ave. I‘m not too sure why you thought this was a good idea but you kept yelling “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL!” I don’t really care what you do, but there were babies in strollers on the train and I got off stinking like smoke. Thanks NYPD for being non-existent.

and also:

Hasid woman looking ha-good: You were with your husband and kids traveling on the J train this morning. I know this is a special weekend for you, but why not slip away from the passover festivities and give me a call. I gave you a wink this morning and you shyly smiled. I KNOW YOU ARE DOWN SO LETS DO THIS!

For some reason, this works best with trains. I can’t really imagine a Metro bus equivalent: “I sat in your pee. Let’s make out!”

RSS icon Comments

1

I'm guessing most of ladies out there aren't disappointed that they're not riding the subway with ass-golf guy trying to peek down their top.

Posted by left coast | April 18, 2008 12:03 PM
2

not sure why you might assume the trains are any more pee-free than a bus. the seats are yellow on the orange B-D-F lines to encourage more people to sit in a puddle on the way to work.

oh, and just a tip for tourists:
if you're wondering why people are packed into every car but one when the train pulls in, just get on the 'empty' car and breathe. seattle homeless get nowhere near the levels of the cultivated subway stank.

Posted by chops | April 18, 2008 12:30 PM
3

The empty car is either not air conditioned in the summer or not heated in the winter. Also, it's pretty much once a month that you're going to see someone genitals on the train whether it's defecating between cars or just an old pervert playing with it.

Posted by left coast | April 18, 2008 12:36 PM
4

What's so romantic about a subway? I saw worse things on the red line in Boston than I've seen out here. Rails instead of tires don't make the people on the thing more civilized.

Posted by Lythea | April 18, 2008 3:02 PM
5

This makes me think of that "What What In the Butt" youtube video/song.

Posted by Katelyn | April 18, 2008 4:29 PM
6

oh, man. i knew it had to exist. it's just funny that seattle brought me this little slice of new york i'd been missing since living here. but, new york doesn't necessarily provide the passive-aggression so essential to the existance of 'i saw yous' in seattle. dudes, and probably ladies, are just more assertive here. srsly. i'm dating a dude i met on the subway. in seattle, this dude wouldn't have existed to me. he would have just written an 'i saw you' and/or a song about a seeing a pretty girl that he couldn't get up the balls to talk to. here, he gets ass, and i get a hilarious, pompous playmate.

Posted by nomi malone | April 18, 2008 10:12 PM
7

@5 - now that was a funny vid!

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 19, 2008 2:33 AM
8

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Posted by Jackie | April 23, 2008 4:26 AM
9

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Posted by Jackie | April 23, 2008 4:26 AM

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