Obviously, we need more pitbulls. Remember, if we outlaw pitbulls, only outlaws will have pitbulls.
Thank God for pitbulls, I say!
Now that ice floes are becoming scarcer, something needs to help cull the herd.
And what better way to reduce our carbon footprints (feetprint?) than by siccing pitbulls on the elderly and infirm?
Should pit bulls be banned? Yes. Should pit bull owners be banned? Yes.
"..her and the pit bull rolled down a hill...
She! She! SHE and the pit bull rolled down a hill!! Aarrgghhh!!!
And yeah, until every pit bull breeder strives to produce calm, unagressive, trainable animals, fuck pit bulls.
I think it would be funny to strangle a baby pit bull with my hands. Maybe rip it's throat out with my teeth. I dunno. Anything terrible would still be hilarious.
Duh me. See what snow does to a person?
Now, if you could train a pitbull how to operate a nailgun....
how cool would that be?
@4 Beat me to it.
Maybe pit bulls could be trained only to bite PROFESSIONAL WRITERS who don't know the difference between a subject and an object of a sentence.
I don't care if people are just talkin' and mess it up, but if it's going to be published, proofread!
Okay, I feel better.
I agree with Schmader's comment in Last Days for Jan 31st about wishing for water-soluble pit bulls. Perhaps we could set our genetic engineers on that problem.
Ok, I'm not sure I understand here. Are all of you actually complaining that there is one less miniature Schnauzer in the world?
@4 Beat me to it, but there's more:
"Johnston got bitten and her and the pit bull rolled down a hill."
"GOT" bitten? What's wrong with "was?"
"Johnson was bitten and she and the pit bull rolled down a hill."
But if we are fixing things, how about losing the passive:
"The pit bull bit Johnson and the two of them rolled down a hill."
I like imagining Dan Savage shaking with fear and crossing the street every time he sees someone walking a Pitbull. It's good we have a dog on the street to keep the peckerwood NIMBYs in line.
@7 - that would be sweet.
Remember, only you can prevent ice floes melting, by training pit bulls to operate automatic nail guns.
Omigod, check out Sven the weather man on that news site.
A pit bull attack is preferable to grammar that bad.
And yeah, until every human breeder strives to produce calm, unagressive, trainable babies, fuck humans.
@11 - aw, warm grammar fuzzies.
@15 - babies don't have teeth, dude. What, are they going to gum you to death?
@16 - only the baby seals.
#16 missed the point of #15.
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).