Sex Urban Dictionary Has Failed Me
posted by on March 27 at 10:59 AM
I occasionally check in with Waiter Rant, because I’m fascinated with food service stories from the servers’ side of things. But yesterday’s posting has confused the hell out of me. Here’s the pertinent excerpt:
“Ha!” Chimo says in the teasing sing song voice of a grade-schooler who knows the meaning of a sexual term before his playmates do. “You don’t know what a deluxe blowjob is.”…[T]o humor him, I ask. “Okay, explain it.”
Chimo gives me his descriptive explanation. I won’t get into it here. Suffice to say it’s sophomoric – and sort of disgusting.
Sophomoric? Disgusting? Those are my middle names! Sadly, there’s nothing on Urban Dictionary to explain the act, and Googling “deluxe blowjob” is interesting, but unhelpful. I have the creeping feeling that I will never find out what a deluxe blowjob is, and that saddens me in a very real, very pathetic way.
I'm going with bum-fingering. But only out of habit.
Probably. Personally, I find that a turn off. Most hetero guys really just want you to look like you're having fun and swallow.
It means it's got a pickle and lettuce on it, dumbass.
A cup of soup and fries.
@1 I thought that was the rusty trombone.
fondling the anus was my first guess.
Right when you're about to come, a guy named Chimo brings you the check.
Chimo= [b]Chi[/b]ld [b]Mo[/b]lestor
Supersize my blowjob please!
I did the exact same thing last night! (read waiter-rant and then went to urban dictionary to look it up).
I am the only person on the face of the Earth capable of delivering the deluxe to the blowjob. Then again, I refuse to suck on any dick that isn't at least six inches. I won't point and laugh, but c'mon. I don't need that much room to breathe.
#5, a rusty trombone is the reverse -- eating ass from behind while giving a handjob.
Save time, just order a Dick's Deluxe!
[Thank you, I'll be here all week, tip your waitress!]
Mr. Poe: I love you.
Deluxe blowjobs: I also have not heard of it, but I bet they work mayonnaise in there somewhere.
Deluxe Blow Job = 1 Shot Bailey's + 1 Shot Goldshlager
i'll take two deluxe and one combo. please.
The Urban Dictionary failed me, too, this week when I was looking up Texas Clambake.
It comes with a tossed salad.
I liked #15 though.
I love me a nice rusty trombone!
The deluxe one gets me standing on my tippy toes, all squirmy.
I thought a rusty trombone was a blowjob after anal. No clue on the delux blowjob though.
@16
Comin' (in more ways than one) right up!
I'm pretty sure you can order one of those at your local neighborhood Dick's.
Perhaps this will help.
Perhaps not. The word "deluxe" doesn't appear in that link.
@ 21: no, that's ATM, as in ass to mouth. The rusty trombone refers to the similar hand motions of playing a trombone & giving a handy with you face in your partner's asshole.
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