Homo This Is Going to End Badly
posted by March 10 at 11:12 AMon
If you knew a straight couple that had been together eight months—eight months—and they were talking about getting married and having children, would you take them seriously? No, you wouldn’t. So please don’t feel obligated to take this couple seriously just because they’re gay.
Jaason Simmons, who starred on Baywatch for three years, has come out of the closet. Good for him. He’s got a boyfriend! Good for him. They’re adopting—or they’ve adopted, or one of them adopted (it’s hard to tell)—an 8-year-old Ugandan boy. And they’re getting married. At eight months. Which strikes me as just a bit premature. Via Towleroad:
Simmons has appeared in Australian New Idea magazine with his boyfriend of eight months, Irish actor John O’Callaghan, and his adopted six year-old Ugandon son saying that they want to get married. The couple plan to wed in Canada as same-sex unions are not legally recognized in California where they both live.”
Said Simmons: “We’re doing it for our family and for my soon-to-be son. Although you don’t want to typecast yourself, you have to take responsibility and ownership and move humanity forward, out of bigotry. Our son needs to see we can stand in front of family and loved ones who are going to support our union through the good times and bad.”
Eight months. These men have been been together—excuse me, they’ve been dating—for eight months. And they’re getting married and adopting a child together. Does anyone believe that if Simmons were straight—if he were, say, a female pop star, and Miss Simmons was marrying a man she’d only known for eight months, and if Miss Simmons were already pregnant or talking about adoption—that Miss Simmons would be taken seriously?
Straight people? Please don’t take premature/immature commitments—marriage, family, children—any more seriously when gay people make them. You’re not obligated to make up for the centuries when our relationships weren’t taken seriously by smiling and nodding when someone introduces you to a “life partner” he met eight months ago. You would laugh in the face of a straight friend or relative who introduced you to a fiancé of eight month’s acquaintance. You should treat your gay friends and relatives the same way. We want to be treated equally. That means we should be treated with equal contempt when we engage in equally stupid behavior.
And gay people? While it’s nice to see another semi-famous actor come out of the closet—particularly one that looks like Simmons—Simmons’s premature commitment to this man, and their willingness to involve a child in this premature commitment, isn’t something to celebrate. Not yet, anyway. If they’re still together ten years from now, or two years from now, great, let’s have a party. But the odds are stacked against Simmons and O’Callaghan—not because they’re gay, kids, but because they’re foolish. They’ve only been together for eight months. Rather than end anti-gay bigotry as we know it, odds are that anti-gay bigots will be pointing to Simmons and O’Callaghan as an example of the instability of gay relationships when their marriage—like Britney’s and Pamela Anderson’s and J Lo’s, et al.—predictably ends in divorce.