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Friday, March 28, 2008

There Will be Feathers

posted by on March 28 at 14:15 PM


From the Internet:

DATE: Saturday March 29th RAIN OR SHINE. Don’t be a wimp ;-) TIME: 3:15pm PLACE: Pike Place Market, corner of Pike and Pine. In the street, in front of the place that throws the fish.

A car will be blocking traffic so that we can safely fight in the street. Because we’ll be stopping traffic the fight will be pretty short. (I’ve choreographed this so no one will get stuck behind the fight. Don’t worry.)


- TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE FIGHT. Bring as many people as you possibly can. A big fight is a GREAT fight!
- CONCEAL YOUR PILLOW! Hide it in a backpack, a shopping bag, under your coat, etc. DO NOT go to the fight location and hang out with a pillow in your hand. Look busy: Pretend to shop, chat on the phone or with a friend, whatever, just don’t be obvious. (If you see someone hanging out, with pillow in hand, discreetly suggest that they look busy and try to hide the pillow)
- LISTEN FOR THE WHISTLE. I’ll have to create a diversion in the street to allow the car to stop for us and give the cars that were in front of it time to move down the street to give us enough room to have the fight. Don’t just start fighting because you see me in the street.
- After 3 minutes, I’ll blow the whistle again to stop the fight. STOP FIGHTING IMMEDIATELY AND WALK AWAY. Just like nothing ever happened ;-)

**AFTERMATH GATHERING at The Whiskey Bar (just in time for happy hour!) 2000 Second Ave. Bring cash if you want to drink, because they don’t accept credit cards.

Bring Friends, Tell people
Conceal Your Pillow
Don’t Hit Anyone Without a Pillow (Very important!!! )
Watch Out for Cameras

—If you come with a group, it’s helpful to spread out before the fight and come running from different directions—

Many of you in the comments suggested that you wish you could tell off the pillow-fighters after the last time, when a cleanup was necessary due to all the feathers. Now’s your chance.

RSS icon Comments



Posted by Mr. Poe | March 28, 2008 2:20 PM

How plausible is it to have SPD there to write up the car blocking traffic, and a tow truck to haul it out of there? I thought these things were harmless. Causing a traffic mess downtown should be punished. Perhaps there's someone braver than me who's willing to take out the tires?

Posted by Banna | March 28, 2008 2:22 PM

where can i buy pepper spray

Posted by Bellevue Ave | March 28, 2008 2:24 PM

"A car will be blocking traffic so that we can safely fight in the street."

Smart. Real smart.

Thanks for the heads up,

Posted by seattle98104 | March 28, 2008 2:26 PM

meh, whatever floats their boats. On the other hand, I'm sure the business owners won't be pleased about having a giant feather mess in front of their stores (and on top of their fish), so they're pretty much begging for trouble.

Posted by Hernandez | March 28, 2008 2:31 PM

What kind of drugs do I need to consume for these flash-meetup things to make sense to me?

Posted by Gomez | March 28, 2008 2:37 PM

I've been sitting on that e-mail for two weeks, waiting to see when someone would rat them out.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 28, 2008 2:39 PM

God damn kids. I get sooooooo angry when I think of them. GRRRRRRRR!


Posted by elenchos | March 28, 2008 2:41 PM


No drug will give you joie de vivre if you don't already have it. It's hopeless. Immolate yourself now.

Posted by NaFun | March 28, 2008 2:43 PM

You kids get off my lawn!

Posted by John McCain | March 28, 2008 2:43 PM


but it's biodegradable man and feeds the earth, man

(comote's argument not mine)

Posted by cochise. | March 28, 2008 2:45 PM

Since we know that there are cops reading SLOG, or at least the stuff Jonah writes about them, I would say that the cops are going to know about this and bust them, but judging by the email that cop sent to Jonah, there's only 3 cops or so on duty at any given time, so I'd say they were safe...also, Lex Luthor will probably take advantage of our cop shortage to stage some nefarious scheme of his...

Posted by michael strangeways | March 28, 2008 2:47 PM

is an flash anti flash-mob mob a possibility? they could ruing the surprise by having visible pillows.

no, i'm not against flash mobs. i'm just against them causing actual problems for others. like not cleaning up after a serious mess, and perhaps causing traffic snarls (if that actually happens to any degree).

Posted by infrequent | March 28, 2008 2:49 PM

rumors on the internets....

Posted by some dude | March 28, 2008 2:50 PM

I'm bringing 123 friends w/ buckets of tar.
we're going to fuck.shit.up.

Posted by oilman | March 28, 2008 2:54 PM

Well this time when an unmarked van of drunk, undercover SPD officers shows up, the beatdown that ensues will probably look something like a Brian Adams video.

Posted by Dougsf | March 28, 2008 2:54 PM

how fucking... whimsical.
they should make up for their obnoxiousness by distributing all those pillows to the homeless people afterwards.

Posted by pretentious | March 28, 2008 3:03 PM

I'm trying to remember who gave away the sooper-sekrit location of the dance club in the back of Atlas Clothing......

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 28, 2008 3:07 PM

The homeless should be the ones to pick up the feathers, if anybody has to. Let them make contribution for once.

Posted by elenchos | March 28, 2008 3:08 PM

hmmmm... maybe this is all a setup. maybe the flash-mob that will be created in protest is the actual flash-mob they wanted to create. only, there will be no pillow-fighting flash-mob at all. just a protest consisting a bunch of anti pillow fighting people and the police.

Posted by infrequent | March 28, 2008 3:18 PM

The street-sweeping broom-wielding flash mob to clean up behind the pillow-wielding flash mob is set to go!

Posted by Flash Mob in Seattle | March 28, 2008 3:23 PM

aw, you guys just plain suck--Stranger writers should stop splooging all over the Intarnet Sekrets.

Let the kids piss off the tourists who are driving in circles trying to find non-existent parking, it's not like any Seattlites are going to be bothered by a traffic block to the Pike Place Market entrance. People who live here are usually smart enough to park elsewhere or walk...

Posted by chlorinated girl | March 28, 2008 3:24 PM

I agree with #22.

But the Stranger could make up by having Golob post instructions for making an IED out of a goose-down comforter, half-dozen grapes, and a microwave oven.....

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 28, 2008 3:28 PM

@22 well you could just time your mob with the signals at the market as it is an all direction walk intersection. Thus no need to break laws with a blocking car.

There's also a cross-walk like this up at the junction in west seattle.

Posted by seattle98104 | March 28, 2008 3:32 PM

The fish guys will probably pummel the flash-mobbers with trout, if market security doesn't get them with the net guns first

Posted by playswithknives | March 28, 2008 3:35 PM



Posted by Mr. Poe | March 28, 2008 3:35 PM

the market is aware that this is happening, and unlike the ballard park, the market has 24 hour security and spd presence.

Posted by well | March 28, 2008 3:36 PM

Who is this whistle-blowing person? They sound like a control freak to me. Why again should I stop and "just walk away"? BOooooRING!

Posted by treacle | March 28, 2008 3:37 PM

9. 'joie de vivre'... is that what they call autism these days?


Posted by Gomez | March 28, 2008 4:00 PM

I would love to see Flash Mob Wars overtake Seattle. There has to be enough people out there willing show up at these events with concealed Super Soakers and bust loose on the pillow fighters once that whistle blows.

Posted by Matty Worth | March 28, 2008 4:13 PM

Better to bust out SuperSoakers(tm) and water balloons against the farging Ducks...

Posted by treacle | March 28, 2008 4:21 PM

It's only a matter of time before someone who hates These Damn Hippie Kids (tm) shows up with a pillowcase full of bars of soap...

Posted by Geni | March 28, 2008 4:23 PM


Because dumbass, if they ticket one single car or pedestrian blocking traffic - AT THE FREAKING PIKE PLACE MARKET, THE MOST TRAFFIC/PEDESTRIAN CONGESTED THREE BLOCKS OF DOWNTOWN SEATTLE - they'll have to ticket ALL of them (wouldn't want to be accused of selective enforcement, after all - that's a sure way to get your case tossed out on it's ear), and that would mean wasting the resources of pretty much the entire SPD shift assigned to the Market for that day writing several thousand jay-walking and blocking traffic infractions.

Same goes for a BS littering infraction - if you cite someone for spewing pillow feathers, then you also have to cite the fat-assed out-of-towners dropping their greasy fish-and-chips containers, soda and coffee cups, and teriyaki chicken skewers on the ground as well.

Because, litter is litter, no?

Besides, I guess I wasn't aware it had suddenly become a crime to walk around in public with a pillow in one's hand.

"When pillows are outlawed, only outlaws will get a good night's sleep."

Posted by COMTE | March 28, 2008 4:29 PM

After the 3rd flash mob pillow fight this is getting lame. And to try to do it in a very busy, public place is very unintelligent. The cops are sure to bring backup now. The underground, secrecy feeling has been taken away. Give it up.

Posted by robot2501 | March 28, 2008 4:38 PM

@33 - wouldn't the writing of tickets slow this down even more?

Just remember, pillows don't kill pit bulls, nail gun wielding husbands kill pit bulls.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 28, 2008 4:57 PM

@22: The invite specifically says to bring friends and tell people. That sounds like the worst secret of all time.

Posted by Aislinn | March 28, 2008 4:57 PM

@36: quite so.

I keep telling myself, someday I'm going to do that thing that I've never done in all my years in this city, that thing that I see all sorts of people doing, and looking so unhappy about it: driving down Pike Place. An average speed of 1 MPH is pretty good going.

Posted by Fnarf | March 28, 2008 5:26 PM

Personally, I've found participating in flash mobs to be fun, for the most part. But it really depends on what you're doing. Half of them seem to involve Westlake Mall or Pike Place Market, tho.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 28, 2008 5:30 PM

I think this is pretty clever. All you need to make a bunch of attention-seeking dweebs make even bigger asses of themselves is a whistle, and an anonymous "organizer" email. Oh, and a car that stops at the market. Why didn't I think to send this email?

If this *isn't* a hoax on the pillowfighter kidz, then I hope some fishmonger punches you in the balls.

Remember, kidlets: if it's biodegradable, it's automatically not a mess!

Posted by S | March 28, 2008 5:35 PM

@33 After the FIRST ONE it was lame. :D

Posted by brappy | March 28, 2008 8:28 PM

Uh, I mean @34. Carry on.

Posted by brappy | March 28, 2008 8:29 PM

I love the idea of dueling Flash Mobs. I also admire the thinking behind people purposely carrying around visible pillows to ruin the surprise. But that wouldn't cause as much confusion as a bunch of people bringing their own whistles, trying to start the pillow fight at random times when no one's ready for it.

Also: isn't it time to come up with something besides pillow fights?

Posted by Monty | March 28, 2008 8:43 PM

@42: I love the idea of literal dueling flash mobs -- Like a good flashmob gun fight.

Just have it far away from good people whose sense of whimsy doesn't require them to act like lunatics, litter, and interfere with traffic.

Posted by Dawgson | March 28, 2008 8:57 PM

The corner of Pike AND Pine? So which one is it? These are important distinctions for all those Flash Mob Pillow Fighting Champions to be aware of. Don't want to be the only chump on the street corner pulling Grannie's home-made bolster pillow out of his/her backpack... Tacky.

Posted by Zzzz | March 28, 2008 9:59 PM

@43: Ooh, yeah! You could have two people stage a public argument, then someone separates them and they go through the whole rigmarole of a public duel right there. In and out in like ten minutes. I like it!

Posted by Monty | March 28, 2008 10:11 PM

The corner of Pike AND Pine? So which one is it?

They were referring to the corner of pine STREET and pike PLACE. Those two intersect.

pine STREET and pike STREET do not.

Posted by stinkbug | March 29, 2008 1:16 AM

Why not just place a street musician at the corner and have him use a whistle in his set?

Posted by egid | March 29, 2008 10:12 AM

Well, what happened?

Posted by playswithknives | March 29, 2008 4:27 PM

This happened-

(and why don't these comments render HTML links? Or maybe I'm missing something?)

Posted by Truevulgarian | March 30, 2008 1:30 PM

To those who continue to berate the pillow fighting....

1. the pillow fight was fun for those participating and those who had no idea it was going to happen. The innocent bystanders as it were. Instead of bitching, try to have fun....
if not for yourself, than for other people.

2. yes, people stuck around and cleaned up the feathers...that means those who participated. Within 15 minutes it was cleaned up and cars were once again able to drive in front
of pike place market with no chance in hell of securing a parking spot right there.

3. There was a security gate placed at pike st/place so no
cars could enter from 1st, therefor no renegade car blocking.
Besides, car traffic at pike st / pike place market is rediculous and shouldn't happen's a clusterfuck all the way to
Victor Steinbrueck Park with all the people walking in that area
and the lack of parking available.....seriously, it's stupid to think you can park right there.

Posted by jesus | March 31, 2008 2:12 AM

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