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Monday, March 10, 2008

Savage Love Letter of the Day

posted by on March 10 at 12:00 PM

Someone would like a referral…

My wife and I are looking for a sexy night out on the town (Seattle or Tacoma) with hotel and maybe a visit to a not-so-well-known alternative/sexy establishment for an outside of the box experience. Any ideas?

I have to recuse myself from answering this letter. I find people seeking outside-the-box experiences in not-so-well-known establishments far too annoying to offer this person, you know, the level-headed, impartial advice that made me famous.

You see, Borat here is seeking a not-so-well-known “alternative/sexy establishment” because he and the wife don’t want to run into anyone they might know, or anyone that might know anyone they might know, which, of course, rules out all those well-known-and-popular alternative/sexy establishments.

I get a lot of mail from people seeking mythical alternative/sexy establishments crawling with alternative/sexy people enjoying alternative/sexy outside-the-box experiences—but ones where they won’t run into anyone they know from their non-alternative, not-so-sexy daily lives. There are sex clubs out there, gay and straight, where people go for alternative/sexy experiences. But if you’re afraid of being recognized, or if you think alternative/sexy experiences are shameful, you’re really not big enough to ride those rides, in my opinion. So even if I knew about a not-so-well-known alternative/sexy establishment in Seattle (or, uh, Tacoma), I wouldn’t tell this guy about it.

But, hey, if anybody else wants to help this guy out in comments, feel free.

RSS icon Comments

1

Or he's a cop.

Posted by Justin J | March 10, 2008 12:07 PM
2

Havana. Thursday. 6pm. Ask for "Poe."

Posted by Big Sven | March 10, 2008 12:08 PM
3

"... [A] not-so-well-known alternative ... establishment ..." pretty much describes any bar in Tacoma.

As for the "sexy" part, well, Dude's on his own.

Posted by als | March 10, 2008 12:11 PM
4

(Chuckling @ Sven)

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 10, 2008 12:11 PM
5
Posted by JC | March 10, 2008 12:19 PM
6

What Big Sven said.

Posted by Mr. Poe | March 10, 2008 12:24 PM
7

Dude, Dan, where's the Slog on Spitzer?

Posted by arduous | March 10, 2008 12:31 PM
8

Did this letter come from Eliot Spitzer and his "wife"?

Posted by JMR | March 10, 2008 12:32 PM
9

Couldn't they just go to Portland? or Vancouver BC? or Nevada?

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | March 10, 2008 12:38 PM
10

I don't read this the way Dan does at all. My understanding was that they are out-of-towners looking for something cool to do, which means non-touristy and local. And in their case, "cool" means something sexy enough to be romantic and fun. They aren't worried about running into someone they know; they just don't want to deal with a bunch of lame tourists at some cheesy Seattle nightclub they found in their AAA guide.

Posted by Matthew | March 10, 2008 1:10 PM
11

Two points:

One: Shouldn't they include a little more detail in what they're looking for? I had a sexy good time Saturday dancing to '60s soul with dozens of the cutest girls in the city in cute vintage dresses. It was amazing. Likely not what the writer is looking for, thus the need for clarification.

Two: So far I'm very disappointed in the other answers here. Is the HUMP! axiom that Seattle is too uptight actually true? We as the collective alternative consciousness of Seattle can't point this poor closeted kinkster and his wife towards a "Sexy, good time"?

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | March 10, 2008 1:10 PM
12

or tell the chicken shit that if they go to any "fun" establishment in their vicinity and happen to run into people they know, that they'll have just as much shit on the people they run into, as those people have on them...it's not really a big deal. Most sexually active and socially inclined gay men have had the delight of running into a co-worker, friend or aquaintance in a sexually or socially awkward position. You shrug and move on.

Posted by michael strangeways | March 10, 2008 1:15 PM
13
Posted by Squeeze | March 10, 2008 1:20 PM
14
Posted by Squeeze | March 10, 2008 1:21 PM
15

I heard there's this pretty edgy place in Enumclaw...

Posted by Greg | March 10, 2008 1:33 PM
16

@11: how's this.

There's the CSPC in Seattle. But I'm thinking the CSPC may be a little more sexy/alternative than they had in mind. And I can't recall if out-of-towners are allowed in without a current, local member as chaperone.

There's a primarily straight place up north, but you're not supposed to advertise its location.

There's another primarily straight place out Redmond way too.

I'm not givin' details, because you're not supposed to, but the intarweb is a pretty effective tool at finding all of these places if you know the right search terms. Took me 5 minutes to figure out Seattle doesn't have an equivalent to the PowerExchange, and a few weekends to discover that, for what Seattle does have, I'm about 20-years-too-young for all but one.

Anyway, if these visitors are looking for these places, they're there. But the only ones that are not well-known are invitation only and most don't have a permanent venue. You don't invite out-of-towners sight unseen.

So they might as well go to the web and search for the well-known ones with permanent venues. The one up north has been around for over 30 years.

Posted by i ain't sharing my name for this comment | March 10, 2008 1:56 PM
17

I guess I'm with Dan: if you don't know where they are and can't find them on the web, they might as well not be there. If you have to ask total strangers for the totally alt ones, you're not going to be invited.

Sort of like "if you have to ask the price, you can't afford it."

Posted by i ain't sharing my name for this comment | March 10, 2008 1:58 PM
18

I agree with #10. Give 'em a break man, they are probably just looking for something they haven't seen before.

Posted by Cale | March 10, 2008 2:04 PM
19

I've heard that Las Vegas is fun.

#18: "looking for something they haven't seen before"? Nope, sorry. In that case they are 'tourists' and we don't want 'em. Nothing better than uncomfortable gawkers to really spice up your alternative/sexy establishment.
Go to SF for Folsom weekend.

Go rent a video and have an "alternative"/"sexy" and anonymous time at home together.

Posted by treacle | March 10, 2008 3:21 PM
20

I give them the benefit of the doubt. and, as a local, I wouldn't balk at 2 potentially sexy people just because they weren't from seattle...hmm.

I recommend checking out the little red studio. they have a website and it's a beautiful space.

the CSPC does require a member chaperon. it's hard-core to the l.r.studio's soft erotic art/performance space.

also, there's the CanCan down in Pike Market - cabaret show. retro sexy.

and if you're looking for a threesome, there are many gay clubs and one dyke bar. easily found on google, all.

good luck!

Posted by kt | March 10, 2008 4:08 PM
21

I give them the benefit of the doubt. and, as a local, I wouldn't balk at 2 potentially sexy people just because they weren't from seattle...hmm.

I recommend checking out the little red studio. they have a website and it's a beautiful space.

the CSPC does require a member chaperon. it's hard-core to the l.r.studio's soft erotic art/performance space.

also, there's the CanCan down in Pike Market - cabaret show. retro sexy.

and if you're looking for a threesome, there are many gay clubs and one dyke bar. easily found on google, all.

good luck!

Posted by nsb | March 10, 2008 4:09 PM
22

Maybe this couple writing in are tired of having to pretend to be uptight and conservative.

Seattle cold shoulder, man. I'm disappointed with most of responses.

Posted by feom | March 10, 2008 4:11 PM
23

. . .okay, maybe less than half of the responses. I don't know.

To the couple: Condoms and lube. Safe words. Communication with everyone, most of all each other.

Posted by feom | March 10, 2008 4:15 PM
24

@21: I would suspect that most women in dyke bars are tired of straight couples looking for a threeway. "Oh good, one more penis I don't need and a woman who has no idea how to please me."

Posted by Greg | March 10, 2008 5:42 PM
25

#15 Horse fucking joke, right?

Posted by the bloop | March 10, 2008 5:52 PM
26

Try any of the stairwells at the Central Library.

Posted by M | March 10, 2008 7:10 PM
27

they sound like wild and crazy swingers! http://www.swingdirect.com/
hugs and gorgeous hair forever- fernando

Posted by fernando | March 11, 2008 6:23 AM
28

Post on Craigslist. Make your own party. :)

Posted by violet_dagrinder | March 11, 2008 8:22 AM
29

Start out with something like the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. Mingle, talk to people in the bar area, etc.

There are lot's of people there who are interested in sexy, out of the box experiences but it's like art so you might also see elected officials and bankers mixed in with the kink crowd.

Viewing erotic art is a very acceptable way to spend an evening and with just a little outgoingness you will likley meet people who cn suggest other fun sexy out of the box experiences to try.

It's a nice starter course.

Posted by Erotic Art Opportunities | March 11, 2008 10:10 AM
30

Little Red Studio! I went there and found that all of my senses were inspired through out the eve! The decadent ambiance, incredibly sexy performers, super yummy noshes, perfect selection of wines and a mouthgasmic dessert I knew my honey and I had found our muse...

Posted by Glamazon | March 11, 2008 11:07 AM

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