History Re: Guns. Guns! GUNS!
posted by March 14 at 8:47 AM
onWhen do I get to see Obama hunting in the woods like a real man? Right now, we don’t have the slightest clue as to whether or not Obama likes to go out in the woods with his second amendment and kill shit. You know why?! Because Obama is not a man. He’s a boy. He’s a little boy playing Presidential Campaign. Little boy!
Fact: A gun can turn a boy into a man in less than a second.
Guns play a major role in our society, Mr. Obama. They have solved every problem this world has ever seen. I can’t vote for you until I know you’ve murdered something. It can be a bird, or something equally irrelevant to society. But I need you to kill something for me. Then I’ll feel nice and cozy with you running the country. Hillary killed a lawyer, so you’re a little behind there.
P.S. I stole Doug.’s bike.
Comments
"Re"?
Dammit Poe, I'm sitting in my Torts class at the moment and almost just got myself in a lot of trouble because of your last line. It's not good to laugh out loud in torts class when discussing dismemberment and disfigurement.
I think that I would like your posts more if you referred to yourself as "Slog," the way that Seattlest writers always have to write "Seattlest" every time they mean "I." It would be creep-tastic.
Holy fuck I almost spit coffee all over my monitor.
Would you be satisfied if he just shot one of his friends in the face?
@5
Yes. That would be sufficient.
Hey, Obama grew up black in Chicago. What makes you think he HASN'T shot someone?
Awesome picture, Poe. You've been saving that for weeks, haven't you?
madamecrow @5, you beat me to it. Good one.
He could shoot Hillary. But that wouldn't be cool.
The candidates should compete like athletes or network stars for our votes. A shooting contest would be good. Also obstacle courses, jet ski races, pie eating contests, swimsuit competition, etc.
I don't know, when Kerry went hunting in 2004 it came off as staged and pathetic. Maybe he could begin by going to the shooting range with Kelly O's Girls With Guns and move on to killing things if that goes well.
hmmmm....mr poe told me last night he wasn't going to read comments until the end of the day...
Mr Poe IS human, after all, and has a satisfying lack of self-control!
Which would explain the masturbating in the sink thing...
He shot a man on Michigan Avenue, just to watch him die. Really.
Greatest slog ever.
It just can't come off looking staged. I could never see him hunting animals in the woods.
But spraying bullets out the passenger window of a 1987 Buick LeSabre in the general direction of a hip-hop night? Maybe.
Who is Doug.?
This post is so brilliant, I don't even know where to start...
So I won't.
This is almost as lame as watching either McCain or Huckabee hunt.
Seriously.
I mean, have you seen them?
I learned to hunt at 7, and I don't feel safe around them.
Mind you, at least I don't feel they're trying to intentionally shoot me like Cheney would ... but still ...
This is going to be a great day of SLOG!
Does Hillary's campaign count? Not that it's dead yet, but it's pretty Terri Shiavo like at this point.
Obama shot a Cupid's arrow into my cold, dead heart...does that count?
Not if you're still alive, Ari.
If Obama shoots Ted Nugent in the leg with a crossbow, that would be enough for me. It doesn't have to be a murder, Poe.
Or he could shoot Poe but just in the leg or maybe in the ass. Just wing him. It would be the honorable thing to do.
It's 3:00 a.m. In the White House, a phone is ringing. Something needs to be killed.
Who would you want answering that phone?
Man, don't put down gun lovers.
Wile E Coyote basically swiftboated me when I cracked wise about gun nuts. He did the same thing to me that his buds did to Max Cleland, pissing all over my military record. Don't put down the chickenawks, Poe. They spit and scratch like cats when you corner them.
But Whitey will be terrified if they see a black man with a gun!!!
Whitey! WHITEY!!
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