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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

2008 Racing (and Helping) the Tabloids

posted by Eli Sanders on March 11 at 11:00 AM

Jonathan Martin ran a contest yesterday. But it seems not to have helped because Gawker is unimpressed with today’s offerings…

Tabloids.jpg

…and provides some suggested alternatives:

Spitza’s Otha Shiksas!

Scarlet Harlot

Tricks For Spitz

Escorted From Office?

Guv’s Bank Skank Spank

No Pass On High Class Ass

Governor? I Barely Ho Her!

All of which are pretty damn good.

Now, you know I love all you Slog commenters (each and every one of you!), and I think you’re all incredibly brilliant and witty, but I have to say I doubt your ability to do better than Gawker and its commenters, or Jonathan Martin and his commenters, in improving upon today’s New York tabloid headlines. Prove me wrong?

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1

I'm appalled that Newsday would cast aspersions on Gov. Spitzer by lightening his image and making him appear to be an albino!

I've put an online petition to get Newsday to apologize and drop out of the race for mews magazine I've never heard of at www.whendideveryonegetsouptight.com

Posted by dbell | March 11, 2008 11:07 AM
2

Wham! Bam! Bank Scam!

Posted by inkweary | March 11, 2008 11:10 AM
3

Spitz hit for ritz tits; ditz quits.

Posted by Max Bell | March 11, 2008 11:13 AM
4

Spitz Sez Swallow.

Posted by Stephen in Chicago | March 11, 2008 11:15 AM
5

Spitzer sees Emperor's New Ho's

Posted by Mittens Schrodinger | March 11, 2008 11:16 AM
6

Spitz Wills Wallow

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 11, 2008 11:17 AM
7

Spitz on the fritz due to tits

Posted by skweetis | March 11, 2008 11:18 AM
8

Freaky Geek Sneaks Peek - Bleak Week

Posted by isabelita | March 11, 2008 11:20 AM
9

Ho knows Guv's gloves are off.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 11, 2008 11:23 AM
10

Wall Street Criminals Celebrate By Firing Weapons Into Air; Markets Rally On News Of Governor Entrapment

Posted by Horray For Unfettered Capitalism | March 11, 2008 11:59 AM
11

Shitz N Quitz

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | March 11, 2008 12:23 PM
12

Not Denyin': Resignin'

Hot Executive Action

THIS GUY BONED A HOOKER
(My favorite.)

Posted by tabletop_joe | March 11, 2008 12:33 PM
13

CNN was showing the front pages from all the NY papers, but when it came to The Post, they showed an inside page. I guess "Ho No" is too risque for their sensitive viewer base. Pathetic.

Posted by david in wedgwood | March 11, 2008 12:34 PM
14

@4 ftw thus far, imltho.

Posted by amazonmidwife | March 11, 2008 12:37 PM
15

@7 - ROFLMAO! I love it. My pick for winner!

Posted by DanFan | March 11, 2008 12:37 PM
16

Buy Hooker: Big Crook

Posted by banjoboy | March 11, 2008 3:33 PM
17

Whore-Ring Buster's Whoring: Busted!

Posted by banjoboy | March 11, 2008 3:36 PM
18

High-End Ho Sings: Puttin' on Spitz Bits...

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 11, 2008 7:02 PM
19

On the news that he spent 80 GRAND on hookers (Wow, his wife should serve him with divorce papers in a New York minute - pun intended):

Spitz blows 80k wad on blows by ho's

Posted by Madashell | March 11, 2008 7:12 PM
20

On edit:

Spitz Shoots 80k Wad on Blows by Ho's

Posted by Madashell | March 11, 2008 7:13 PM
21

Spitz hired women for sex.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | March 11, 2008 7:30 PM
22

Spitzer swallows hard

(and here's to #10 for making an excellent connection)

Posted by patrick | March 11, 2008 8:40 PM
23

Eliot Mess

or

Spitz Sucked - Sacked!

Posted by Kevin Hamm | March 11, 2008 11:41 PM

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