Google is a beautiful thing. This isn't as much fun as "Gerald Goddamned Ford", but it will do for now.

He's a 52-year-old Pisces--according to MySpace. His only friend is Tom. Go easy on him.

He's fine with rampant bigotry but a little profanity offends him? I try to avoid profanity in general, but in this case? Fuck him.

And for the record, my mother has a stripy sofa, an overdecorated house, chartreuse pants and a small weird dog. She's been accused of plenty of things, but being insufficiently parental isn't one of them.

That was better than the comic strips in today's newspaper. Thanks.

Correction. He's a 52 year old pieces with a Mack Truck fetish.

http://www.macktrucks.com/assets/mack/driving07_mack_back.pdf

I'm wondering, can we force your link higher in the Google search results by going to your article over and over again?

Sadly you don't appear until the the 24th page of the MSN search results...

Christ, another dipshit Floridian makes his brilliance known.

Fuck off, buddy.

I work at Google. I'll get the profanity removed.

And then tell Google to wipe away all your dirty butt-sex talk from the internet. And all the pictures of women with short hair.

There are companies who charge a lot of money to fix search engine results.

BTW, I thought Google had some option to filter out offensive language.

@8: While you're at it, can you get ALL the profanity removed from the internets in general? No, no, leave the porn. Thanks!

So how long before somebody writes a post that links Andy Fuckface Haraldson to a Google search?

Or did I just incidentally do it? Pls advise.

Dear Mr. Haraldson,

Please contact someone under the age of 50 and have them explain "teh googlez" to you.

@8: While you're at it, can you get ALL the profanity removed from the internets in general? No, no, leave the porn. Thanks!

Weird dogs? Striped Sofas? Overdecoration? Too many flowers? Pictures of Cats? Horrible Clothes? Fussy about Hair?

...you've just described most people's grandmother...

Hopefully none of them have children!!!

great...you've given another 'Andy' his 15 seconds of fame...

WOW. I had no idea.

Thanks for linking your article. What he wrote is totally infuriating.

@10 - Google will indeed block 'offensive' web-sites if you request it.

But what adult in his right mind would do that?

Obviously, not even those who probably should.

That said, Garrison Keillor mocks everything!! It's a badge of honor to be mocked by him.

I could be wrong. (I have been a few times...) But I wouldn't take GK's diatribe on marriage as anything but acceptance of the general weirdness of life. Gay, straight - and all the other variations.

Oh dear, anything but BLUE!

Shit piss Garrison Keillor cock fuck cunt Garrison Keillor blow job motherfucker whore Garrison Keillor asshole cum buttfucker Garrison Keillor. There, that ought to place pretty high on Google. Garrison Keillor would probably Garrison Keillor like it Garrison Keillor too. Asswipe.

And the BIG part can be solved by changing your font size back to "Normal", you fucking blind old man.

See, if you set your text size to "Small", it makes the google small!

Oh Jesus Christ, not the Garrison Keillor flap again. Short version: Garrison is a bit behind the times in terms of the gays. He likes them in theory, certainly a lot more than he likes George Bush, but he doesn't think that hamlets like (fictional) Lake Woebegon should be forced to open up their tiny chapels to the buggers. It offends tiny sensibilities and hurts tiny brains to see homos get hitched.

So Keillor is a libertarian in this regard, like that other witty-but-seldom-funny asshole, Andrew Sullivan.

Dan likes Sullivan but hates Keillor. The rest of us hate both Sullivan and Keillor with equal passion.

Oh my goodness gracious me. Dan Savage used a profanity?!? The end of times are nigh.

Maybe we should just let Florida sink ...

Andy: Turn "Safe Search" on. I know it means that you won't get the "Garysson Keelier naked daddy" images you were hoping for, but those are the breaks.

I'd second the "Fuck Garrison Keillor" but it's impossible: his head's up his ass already.

Before I read this Slog post I had just goten email from Paramount/Moore Theaters that announced an appearance by GK and my very first thought was, picket the guy, with a sign that says "Fuck Garrison Keillor." He's still a tool.

Fuck Andy Haraldson