Film Lindy West’s Motion Picture Column
posted by on March 19 at 19:46 PM
It’s set at Pike Place Market. It involves the mayor, Jennifer Aniston, and a sullen man in a headset. It begins thusly:
You know those people who start every sentence with, “Well, when I used to live in NEW YORK…” and what they really mean is, “Prepare to be amazed, ye foolish bumpkins”? Yeah, those people are awful. And I apologize in advance. So, I used to live in LOS ANGELES (am I blowing your mind up, country mouse?), which is where entertainment comes from. In Los Angeles, everyone is David Arquette’s assistant, and works for Tony Hawk’s production company, and does Pilates with Jennie Garth, and their other car is George Clooney, and they’re all orange and peekin’ at each other at the Pinkberry and beep-boop-boop-thank-Xenu I-have-my-iPhone so-I-can-tell-you-about-how-I-saw-Kato-Kaelin buying-deli-meat-at-Gelson’s. (Oh, and there are some poor people, too. But sshhhhhhhh.)
Seattle is not like Los Angeles. We’re not as orange, and we’re not as over it. So it was unsettling when, one day last week, I wandered into Pike Place Market and—between the fishes and the flowers and the novelty nylon frog beanbags and the hand-painted dog-breed aprons—Los Angeles had set up shop.
And what about the mayor? And Jennifer? And the man in the headset? Click here.
Yeah, well I had sex with ***** ******. Beat that.
I hope Web 3.0 can format a long string of words joined by hyphens. No really it's not bullshit sci fi. I think someday, maybe my child or my grandchild could view text on the web that has the big-assed-string-of-words-with-the-hyphens-thingy and it wouldn't make the page so wide that it looks like 'ass' as they say. Maybe my grandchild will be the one to invent a way to do it. Maybe!
Lindy, these things should be in Where magazine. Nothing says Seattle like anti-LA. or anti-NYC. even though seattle takes monstrous cues from both.
Ugh. Seriously, is this really a film column? That first paragraph is so awful. This thing should be on eonline.
I have been enjoying this Concessions column. I'm glad you have a small film column back in The Stranger. Lindy West is funny.
She should have mentioned that Aniston wasn't in town but that there was a local Aniston double in place for some of the shooting.
Nah, if they mention that @6, then they have to admit that Ms. Aniston isn't the Mayor of Seattle ...
Hilarz, as always.
I think LW should be the new host of Talk Soup.
I think LW should be the new host of everything in the world.
As usual, the mayor annoys me so, I dream of giving him shaken baby syndrome.
Lindy's review of Beowulf made me laugh so hard I peed my pants a little bit.
Holy shit, that's good...
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