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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Just Let the Terrorists Try to Steal Our Dreams!

posted by on March 27 at 17:19 PM

Via Warren Ellis: The Quantum Sleeper, The world’s first terrorist-proof bed! It’s bulletproof, comes with a rebreather and toilet system, and is perfect for sleeping off biological warfare. It’s apparently not available yet, but they estimate that it’ll cost about $135,000. Says the website:

It can also be fitted to provide protection from destructive forces of nature such as tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.

The Quantum Sleeper is the ultimate in protection, entertainment and communications, “ ALL ROLLED UP IN ONE”.

With this unit you don’t have to run to a “Safe Room”, you’re already in it.

I was thinking that this might be a hoax, and I guess it might still be, but here’s the Google Patent Page.

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God, you Americans are so gullible.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 27, 2008 5:24 PM

What if the terrorists cut off the power? How would the night light work?!

Posted by David E. | March 27, 2008 5:28 PM

Wow... a double wide coffin. (I knew this day would come.)

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | March 27, 2008 5:32 PM

I know, let's buy one for Fnarf, since he's so worried about terrorists attacking anything taller than 6 stories ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 27, 2008 5:59 PM

No. 3 got to it before me.

Just nail the thing shut, toss some dirt over it, and you've got a bomb shelter, too.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 27, 2008 5:59 PM

I'd pay for the thing jsut for a toilet in the bed. Thats pretty fucking awesome for early morning urination.

Posted by giffy | March 27, 2008 6:06 PM

I want to make sweet, sweet love in that thing.

Posted by JC | March 27, 2008 6:10 PM

what the fuck? Did the person who wrote this patent repeatedly watch the episodes of South Park where the terrorists take over Imagination Land until he/she became obsessed with the idea to come up with this???

Posted by apres_moi | March 27, 2008 6:43 PM

Weren't these already installed in Pioneer Square?

Posted by Mahtli69 | March 27, 2008 8:45 PM


Back in the day, our grandparents (well, those that lived in rural areas anyway) used to call it "a chamber pot".

Or you can just use the "trucker's friend".

Posted by COMTE | March 28, 2008 12:29 AM

@10 - used to? in some places they still exist.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 28, 2008 8:46 AM

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