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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Joe Francis Orders You to Hate Him

posted by on March 26 at 9:51 AM


After a year behind bars in Florida and Nevada, Girls Gone Wild! founder Joe Francis is again a free man (though still facing charges of tax evasion in Nevada).

While in jail, Francis tried to soften his public profile via, featuring baby pictures, tasteful fonts, and lists of Francis-sponsored charities.

Just prior to his release, Francis was profiled by GQ, and—surprise!—his time behind bars only made him a more flagrant asshole. From “The Prisoner in Cell Block Double D”:

Francis says jail is totally different from what he’d expected from movies. He’s seen only one fight and hasn’t heard of any sexual assaults. “Nothing will ever happen to me in jail. I’m a god. I’m the cool Girls Gone Wild guy. I’m revered. I’m a rock star,” he says. Still, he avoids the other inmates, often going a week without talking to one. “The one thing I fear is one of these fucking people showing up at my house. I’m a different class. They’re dumb. They’re the people you see on Cops. Those are the people you see in jail.”
His enemies list has grown as he sits in jail, and it was recently expanded to include Access Hollywood reporter Maria Menounos, who did an interview Francis didn’t like. “She called me the ‘ever defiant Joe Francis,’” he howls. “Fuck yeah, I’m defiant! It’s like that defiant Rosa Parks won’t give up her seat. Fuck you, Maria. The ever defiant Nelson Mandela just can’t stand apartheid. The ever defiant Martin Luther King. The ever defiant Jesus Christ. You fucking stupid whore. If I saw Maria Menounos, I’d punch her in the face.”

Read the whole thing here. (And don’t overlook the charms of

RSS icon Comments


I, uh, . . . don't care.

Posted by Ziggity | March 26, 2008 9:58 AM

Nobody talks that way about Maria Menounos! She's a class-act fox!
I demand justice!

Posted by Skip | March 26, 2008 10:09 AM

I really hoped he would have been turned into some big fat guys "bitch boi". Damn damn damn.....

Posted by Andrew | March 26, 2008 10:10 AM


Posted by Mr. Poe | March 26, 2008 10:10 AM

Rosa Parks? Nelson Mandela? Martin Luther King? Jesus? You aint black mufucka!

Posted by lar | March 26, 2008 10:15 AM

To be fair, I would totally show Dr. King my boobz.

Posted by Lindy | March 26, 2008 10:15 AM

Right. Other convicts are low class and dumb.

Posted by keshmeshi | March 26, 2008 10:19 AM

Someone needs to start a charity called "" for his next stint in jail.

I'd donate $10.

Posted by dude | March 26, 2008 10:25 AM

Wow. That guy must have the biggest balls in the world, to compare himself to Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandella, MLK, and Jesus Christ, all in one breath, while also calling someone a fucking stupid whore and threatening to punch them. Clearly he has never heard of irony.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | March 26, 2008 10:28 AM

i wish i'd thought of 'girls gone wild' first.

i'd have paid my taxes.

Posted by max solomon | March 26, 2008 10:48 AM


Posted by flamingbanjo | March 26, 2008 10:54 AM

Rosa Parks was so all about underage porn and punching women in the face.

Posted by tsm | March 26, 2008 11:58 AM

If only his fellow inmates could have read that interview while he was still on the inside. That woulda ROCKED!

Posted by monkey | March 26, 2008 12:09 PM

mr. schmader, please check your email! and yes joe francis is the dictionary definition of "douchebag".

Posted by scary tyler moore | March 26, 2008 12:26 PM

I don't know, guys. What if he IS Jesus? I propose nailing him to a cross to find out. Well, OK, crosses are hard to come by; the side of a house then.

Posted by Fnarf | March 26, 2008 1:25 PM

And, just to join in, I would also totally show Lindy's boobz to Dr. King.

Posted by pgreyy | March 26, 2008 4:09 PM

Another contender for the title of World's Most Pathetic Waste of Human Life.

Posted by resident_alien | March 27, 2008 8:55 AM

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