Bigot. Haven't you learned the religious are free to attack Darwin, Science, gays, women, atheists, Hollywood, music, tv, doctors, etc, but no on is allowed to be critical of their little book or their fat old nazi popes.
*47 years. Fuck. Little help, Savage?
Jesus swept. (John 11:35)
I think it goes, God made man in his own image. I'd say its the other way around, et tu?
I often get asked by Catholic friends why I'm no longer Catholic.
I went to catholic school as a kid. That's why I'm not catholic.
While I don't have any specifics, I do know, and agree the 'greatest story ever told' is chopped full of hypocritical lines.
recently, i've heard some strange things about this "koran".
Hehehehe, i can't wait to read more of these comments. Cheers Mr. Poe.
My automatic response to that picture was, "Jesus."
Paul, the author of Corinthians, kinda sucks. If you google Paul vs. Jesus you find some interesting discussion. I'd recommend Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. And there's some cool Gnostic books as well.
@9, That would make a cool cage fight. I bet Jesus fights dirty.
My all-time favorite Bible verse (and perhaps Mr. Mudede's as well): Ezekiel 23:20: King James version: "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."
That's "hung like a donkey, and cums like a horse" in plain english.
That is the coolest picture I have ever seen.
Why do girls (and gays) love going to church?
Cause there is a guys there hung like this. (Hold arms out in crucifix pose)
It works better visually but still a good one.
Catholics are the only ones who wear christ on the cross.
The only people who beat us at guilt are the Jewish.
We don't read the Bible....that's what we pay them to do.
P.S. Very very very fallen Catholic, God Bless Cincinnati.
@12...it's also a bad way to spend Easter
Reason 479 in why I'd rather not support Obama, or Clinton, or...
"it's parents sin"?? For shame, Mr. Poe.
That picture is awesome.
I remember the verses about the priest who stumbled while carrying the ark of the covenant (remember? From Indiana Jones?) and then God struck him dead. Instantly. Reading that as an 11 year-old was mildly traumatic.
I always liked Psalm 31:6,7:
6 Give beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish;
7 let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
I guess it is my Southern Baptist upbringing. I never got the wine at communion, only grape juice.
Hey, I remember that book! Isn't that the one where the son of that carpenter believed he had a direct relationship with a pandimensional deity, and formed a cult in a failed attempt to subvert the ruling class?
I don't know the chapter & verse, but my fav is: "Judge not, lest you be judged." Too bad most people that love Jesus are blissfully unaware of this one.
Also love Ezekial 25:17. Yes, the one from Pulp Fiction
@19, Are you thinking of the one that ended with the worst long weekend one could have.
I can't be bothered to go look up the actual chapter and verse, but my very very favorite Bible story comes in the Old Testament, after Lot flees the burning Sodom with his two daughters. The three of them escape to the hills or something, where Lot's daughters--fearing that the burning of Sodom meant the end of all life on earth--conspire to impregnate themselves by fucking their dad.
Lot's daughters are nice enough to get him drunk before each night's banging, and, as the Book says, "Lot knew nothing of their deeds," allegedly sleeping through two consecutive nights of incestuous rape.
That's an award-winning porn script, right there.
lmao @ Giffy!
Hey, #18, I'm with you. Good one.
I thought the Baptists had it bad until I found out the Mormons don't even get grape juice--they get water at communion.
I'm all Jewy, so my favorites are always the stories of incest and extreme violence from the old testament.
IE., You gotta love the story of Absalom from the Book of Samuel. One of King David's sons, Amnon, rapes one of his daughters, Tamar. Another son, Absalom, avenges her by sending his servants to murder Amnon at a feast. David leads a military battalion against Absalom, and when he gets tangled in the branches of a tree, David kills his own son by thrusting a spear through his heart.
Hooray! Biblical justice and morality!
21. Yeah. You knew the Roman death sentences needed work when the recipient was able to walk around for three days afterward.
That vampire bible had it coming.
Psalm 137:8-9
"O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."
There was an abortion protester at the UW a few years ago who was out in Red Square with big pictures of aborted fetuses and a bible, gathering quite a crowd. I asked if I could borrow his Bible and look for something (namely this), at which point, I read it aloud for the crowd and challenged the guy to explain why in THIS psalm, it was *a-ok* to kill babies.
"Well," he sputtered, "there was a particular historical context ..."
"That's fine," I said. "All I want to establish is that there are certain circumstances under which God thinks it's fine and dandy to kill babies."
He didn't really have a response.
if it weren't for catholics, i wouldn't have gotten laid until i was 18.
Psalm 137:8-9 should be on a bumper sticker.
@30
It is, yo.
jesus.
Leviticus 21:17-23. Cripples and lepers may not be priests, nor may they come near the altar.
Exodus 29:20. I'll let it speak for itself, and only ask if Dan knows what the fetish term for this would be. Hemophilia?
@30, 31:
They're all on bumperstickers and thongs:
http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist/75570
Hallelujah.
@20: If we're going to go there, then there's always Armaments 2:9-21.
@22: Thereby ensuring centuries of "it doesn't count if you're drunk".
And which is no doubt why the Catholics drink actual wine.
1 Corinthians 7:29
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none
The Bible has declared war on marriage!
@22, I remember crying in my little Seventh Day Adventist bible school when they told us the story of Lot's wife becoming a pillar of salt. It was like horror for a kid who wasn't allowed to see horror movies. I think they glossed over the story of Lot and his daughters, though. Typical of the SDAs to leave out the good stuff.
Pat Condell has some wonderful things to say about this. Check out this video:
I fucking LOVE the Psalms 137 baby singlet!
A cross with blood, how original!
My best advice to you Poe is do not ever Piss on a wall or you will be slain!
1 Kings 14:10
Weren't the people of Ba'al and Molech slaughtered by God™ because they sacrificed their children?
Then God™ went on to kill the children of the Romans, force Jephthah to kill his own daughter, and then we have Psalm 137 encouraging the Israelites to continue with all the baby-killing.
OMG ABORESHUN!
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